How to (appropriately) tell a girl you like her?

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Dec 3, 2018
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#1
Hi all! I am a young adult in my 20s and pretty much have always gotten along well with women, unfortunately I sometimes struggle to tell a girl how I feel about her when I do have feelings. I trust God/Jesus and have Him first in these situations! Unfortunately though sometimes my emotions get in the way and instead of immediately praying about it I just go of emotions... fortunately I’m getting better at this and praying constantly for everything. But there are sometimes when I mess it up and make things a little more uncomfortable then they need to be by telling a woman “I have feelings for you”. While I depend and trust God/Jesus for everything I would like to see what my other brothers and sisters have to say about this too.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
685
575
93
#2
My first thought would be God wouldn't be directing you into expressing yourself to a person that isn't right for you. Since you have done so seemingly repeatedly, and still unsuccessful I'd have to question if God is really having anything to do with your proclamations to begin with.
But, really, if you're doing such a thing, the best advice is usually 'do it how you feel to'. Unless you have some issue which causes you to have an exceptionally difficult time in knowing such things, then be yourself. Otherwise you aren't being yourself, but someone elses version of what is 'right'. Because, really, at the end of the day, unless you express yourself in a pretty dramatically bad way, it won't make much of a difference. She either already has an interest or she doesn't. And if you sharing your interest imperfectly is enough to cause her to run, then you're better off without her anyways.
Also you could consider that if you can't even express an interest in someone how could you expect to communicate with them well, a cornerstone of a good relationship.
 
Dec 3, 2018
10
16
3
#3
My first thought would be God wouldn't be directing you into expressing yourself to a person that isn't right for you. Since you have done so seemingly repeatedly, and still unsuccessful I'd have to question if God is really having anything to do with your proclamations to begin with.
But, really, if you're doing such a thing, the best advice is usually 'do it how you feel to'. Unless you have some issue which causes you to have an exceptionally difficult time in knowing such things, then be yourself. Otherwise you aren't being yourself, but someone elses version of what is 'right'. Because, really, at the end of the day, unless you express yourself in a pretty dramatically bad way, it won't make much of a difference. She either already has an interest or she doesn't. And if you sharing your interest imperfectly is enough to cause her to run, then you're better off without her anyways.
Also you could consider that if you can't even express an interest in someone how could you expect to communicate with them well, a cornerstone of a good relationship.
I totally appreciate what you’re saying and agree. Humorously enough I was trying to connect with unbelievers in Christ. That was my greatest mistake.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
685
575
93
#4
I totally appreciate what you’re saying and agree. Humorously enough I was trying to connect with unbelievers in Christ. That was my greatest mistake.
Then that shines some light on the idea that you're 'Trusting God/Jesus', doesn't it? You can't run contrary to what He says and say He's helping you at the same time. Though I'm sure most of us have been there in one way or another. I've certainly convinced myself God was involved in some of my bad choices.
 

BrotherMike

Junior Member
Jan 8, 2018
418
444
63
#5
I've certainly convinced myself God was involved in some of my bad choices.
I think most of us if not all have. So important to take our time in getting to know someone. It’s not a race, it’s a covenant we should not take lightly. I’ve learned some hard lessons with this.
 

BrotherMike

Junior Member
Jan 8, 2018
418
444
63
#6
My first thought would be God wouldn't be directing you into expressing yourself to a person that isn't right for you. Since you have done so seemingly repeatedly, and still unsuccessful I'd have to question if God is really having anything to do with your proclamations to begin with.
But, really, if you're doing such a thing, the best advice is usually 'do it how you feel to'. Unless you have some issue which causes you to have an exceptionally difficult time in knowing such things, then be yourself. Otherwise you aren't being yourself, but someone elses version of what is 'right'. Because, really, at the end of the day, unless you express yourself in a pretty dramatically bad way, it won't make much of a difference. She either already has an interest or she doesn't. And if you sharing your interest imperfectly is enough to cause her to run, then you're better off without her anyways.
Also you could consider that if you can't even express an interest in someone how could you expect to communicate with them well, a cornerstone of a good relationship.
My advice is to just get to know that person as friends and let time take its course. The best thing to look for is does the Holy Spirit give you peace with that person to pursue a relationship? It also should be easy and natural with that person.
 
Oct 6, 2018
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#7
Would you like to go have a cup of coffee at such and such place
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
25,927
4,352
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64
Florida
#8
Hi all! I am a young adult in my 20s and pretty much have always gotten along well with women, unfortunately I sometimes struggle to tell a girl how I feel about her when I do have feelings. I trust God/Jesus and have Him first in these situations! Unfortunately though sometimes my emotions get in the way and instead of immediately praying about it I just go of emotions... fortunately I’m getting better at this and praying constantly for everything. But there are sometimes when I mess it up and make things a little more uncomfortable then they need to be by telling a woman “I have feelings for you”. While I depend and trust God/Jesus for everything I would like to see what my other brothers and sisters have to say about this too.
God may be of help in starting a romantic relationship but it is still up to you to make the first move.

I see nothing at all wrong in the approach telling a woman you have feelings for her. My counsel is that before you do that you first flirt with her a little. This action may be just the thing to get her to notice you. If she later reciprocates this shows you that she might be starting to get into you. Flirting can set the stage for telling her that you are really interested in her. If she does not flirt back I would keep trying because she might be a little of the shy side.

You can trust in God all you want in this area but God will not simply drop a girl into your lap. This will require decisive bold action on your part. Even if it didn't work out as planned in would still be a good learning experience to build on in regards to starting a romantic relationship with the woman of your heart's desire.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
7,778
2,622
113
#9
A question, a statement, and another question (feel free to paraphrase):

Are you involved romantically with anyone presently?
I would like to get to know you better.
May I take you out for (coffee/lunch/a Caribbean cruise)?
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
685
575
93
#12
My advice is to just get to know that person as friends and let time take its course. The best thing to look for is does the Holy Spirit give you peace with that person to pursue a relationship? It also should be easy and natural with that person.
I'm not the one seeking advice though. ( ;
I established my "method" for meeting women a long time ago. And learned things that work and don't work.
 

RodB65

Caffeinated member
Jun 19, 2016
332
245
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#13
A question, a statement, and another question (feel free to paraphrase):

Are you involved romantically with anyone presently?
I would like to get to know you better.
May I take you out for (coffee/lunch/a Caribbean cruise)?
Wonderful questions Dino. I don't know about the cruise scenario, but you would never lose out with coffee and lunch.

May you be blessed with many opportunities!
:)
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
7,778
2,622
113
#15
Wonderful questions Dino. I don't know about the cruise scenario, but you would never lose out with coffee and lunch.

May you be blessed with many opportunities!
:)
Thanks... however, I'm not looking.
 

TheLearner

Active member
Jan 14, 2019
388
74
28
#19
Hi all! I am a young adult in my 20s and pretty much have always gotten along well with women, unfortunately I sometimes struggle to tell a girl how I feel about her when I do have feelings. I trust God/Jesus and have Him first in these situations! Unfortunately though sometimes my emotions get in the way and instead of immediately praying about it I just go of emotions... fortunately I’m getting better at this and praying constantly for everything. But there are sometimes when I mess it up and make things a little more uncomfortable then they need to be by telling a woman “I have feelings for you”. While I depend and trust God/Jesus for everything I would like to see what my other brothers and sisters have to say about this too.
Just ask her questions about herself. She will get the hint that you like her. Ask her to a group setting of other like minded people. Work on being the best person in Christ you can be. It is good to do projects where you serve others together.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
9,450
1,283
113
#20
"I was reading through the book of Numbers and realized I don't have yours."

"on a scale of 1 to 10, you're a 9, and I'm the 1 you need."