Hey Hoss 
. I had a long, drawn-out answer for this (as I usually do ), but after reading some of the great answers here, all I can say is that one of my best friends in high school told me, "Kim, you're not a Pessimist. You are a Realist." I would say that pretty much sums it up, though sometimes I prepare myself for The Worst of Reality.
One of the most isolating things in my own life is that I usually never feel comfortable with sharing what's really going on in my head because when I do, it generally gets dismissed, overlooked, and ignored. So, I just keep it all inside. I talk to God about it of course. But I often find being around other people very draining at times because it's all about them and I never get to share anything of what's going on with me.
People never guess it on the outside though. Last week at work we were doing inventory and (unfortunately, I'm a very circumstantial person as well) I was actually humming to myself because it was a great day--early start, no interruptions, lots accomplished. My co-workers grumbled something about me being a Disney princess living in my own little castle world. Sigh. I had another co-worker tell me once, "You just live in your own little Care Bear World." I want to scream at them that I had a suicide attempt that landed me in the hospital when I was around 26. I remember the ride to the emergency room, and I remember thinking, "Wow... I bet people still won't take me seriously."
I put in a lot of effort to try to make others around me feel comfortable and included. Another reason people tease me is because I like to give sincere compliments instead of sarcasm. I always say that people hear so much negative, I'd rather contribute to telling them something positive about themselves.
But inside? Years ago I used to go to work wearing long sleeves (which I detest) in order to hide the cuts on my arms due to extreme depression and not being able to get anyone to listen to what was going on. I guess it's kind of like... my problems aren't seen as being "problematic enough" to even register as a bleep on the radar.
I'm trying to get better. It gets hard though because I never feel like I can talk about what I'm really thinking--especially in church!! The judgement! The dismissal!! ("Just trust in Jesus... pray more... read the Bible more...") The scolding! ("You just need to have more faith!")
Sigh. I'd have to say I'm kind of a bitter pill hidden within a candy coating.
. I had a long, drawn-out answer for this (as I usually do ), but after reading some of the great answers here, all I can say is that one of my best friends in high school told me, "Kim, you're not a Pessimist. You are a Realist." I would say that pretty much sums it up, though sometimes I prepare myself for The Worst of Reality. One of the most isolating things in my own life is that I usually never feel comfortable with sharing what's really going on in my head because when I do, it generally gets dismissed, overlooked, and ignored. So, I just keep it all inside. I talk to God about it of course. But I often find being around other people very draining at times because it's all about them and I never get to share anything of what's going on with me.
People never guess it on the outside though. Last week at work we were doing inventory and (unfortunately, I'm a very circumstantial person as well) I was actually humming to myself because it was a great day--early start, no interruptions, lots accomplished. My co-workers grumbled something about me being a Disney princess living in my own little castle world. Sigh. I had another co-worker tell me once, "You just live in your own little Care Bear World." I want to scream at them that I had a suicide attempt that landed me in the hospital when I was around 26. I remember the ride to the emergency room, and I remember thinking, "Wow... I bet people still won't take me seriously."
I put in a lot of effort to try to make others around me feel comfortable and included. Another reason people tease me is because I like to give sincere compliments instead of sarcasm. I always say that people hear so much negative, I'd rather contribute to telling them something positive about themselves.
But inside? Years ago I used to go to work wearing long sleeves (which I detest) in order to hide the cuts on my arms due to extreme depression and not being able to get anyone to listen to what was going on. I guess it's kind of like... my problems aren't seen as being "problematic enough" to even register as a bleep on the radar.
I'm trying to get better. It gets hard though because I never feel like I can talk about what I'm really thinking--especially in church!! The judgement! The dismissal!! ("Just trust in Jesus... pray more... read the Bible more...") The scolding! ("You just need to have more faith!")
Sigh. I'd have to say I'm kind of a bitter pill hidden within a candy coating.
