If An Unmarried Couple Is Expecting, Should They Be Required to Marry?

[Maddog]

I just think that people should put theirselves in this particular position before they make a decision on the lives of others.

But it's a pretty big assumption that others haven't put themselves in this situation, or even been through it in real life, and still come to the same conclusion.

I just think that people dont look in to depth of this situation.

I think that sometimes it's easier to say ''you don't understand'' than it is to accept that they have good reason for thinking as they do. It's okay though, we all do it, myself included.

 

[GreenNnice]

Should you marry if you have a baby together?

Good question. But my answer is not there or is defintely the last one about explaining it in my post....
~~~

No, yes, maybe, you should. All those answers will be answered as you ask them, by God. It is not for us to judge others, it is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ that matters, our God, our Saviour, and, His Holy Spirit was given to us way back when Jesus was baptized and we are to listen wholeheartedly to that great guiding, speaking, leading, and, of course, comforting .

God bless !

 

[Elizabeth619]

But it's a pretty big assumption that others haven't put themselves in this situation, or even been through it in real life, and still come to the same conclusion.


I think that sometimes it's easier to say ''you don't understand'' than it is to accept that they have good reason for thinking as they do. It's okay though, we all do it, myself included.

So what you are saying is of course no one here has been through this so their conclusion to be harsh, crude, and downright judgemental of someone elses actions is ok?

 

[Elizabeth619]

Should you marry if you have a baby together?

No, Yes. Maybe. All those answers will be answered to, by God. It is not for us to judge others.

God bless !

Thank you.

 

[Maddog]

So what you are saying is of course no one here has been through this so their conclusion to be harsh, crude, and downright judgemental of someone elses actions is ok?

No, that's not what I'm saying. But you'll have to help me because I'm not sure where you got that idea from.

 

[Elizabeth619]

Then tell me what good reason a person would have to judge someone?

 

[Maddog]

Then tell me what good reason a person would have to judge someone?

I'm not sure where you're going with this, but basically, anyone with the faculty of reason (ie. practically everyone) can and will make moral judgements. It's natural and right to look at a situation and suss whether or not what someone did was right or wrong. Most of us have a fairly decent grasp of the basic stuff (eg. he was wrong to kill/steal/commit adultery), but even in the more complex cases, I wouldn't say it's wrong for someone to form a judgement.

Unless you're talking about judging someone's soul, which, obviously no man can do (so it would be wrong to say so-and-so is definitely going to hell, for instance).

 

[Elizabeth619]

I'm not sure where you're going with this, but basically, anyone with the faculty of reason (ie. practically everyone) can and will make moral judgements. It's natural and right to look at a situation and suss whether or not what someone did was right or wrong. Most of us have a fairly decent grasp of the basic stuff (eg. he was wrong to kill/steal/commit adultery), but even in the more complex cases, I wouldn't say it's wrong for someone to form a judgement.

Unless you're talking about judging someone's soul, which, obviously no man can do (so it would be wrong to say so-and-so is definitely going to hell, for instance).

You know, you and I got in this discussion and I actually wasn't targeting you but you were the only one that stepped up.

Let's start over. I do not fault anyone for how they feel, but people need to understand that marriage is not always the answer in this type of situation.

YOU, MAtt said nothing offensive at all. At least not in my eyes.

Yet, there are a few that obviously spurted out YES they should marry like it was an easy fix and almost a punishment. I cannot and will not agree with that.


There is also a reason why I am so passionate about this topic. I wonder if anyone can guess why.

 

[Maddog]

You know, you and I got in this discussion and I actually wasn't targeting you but you were the only one that stepped up.

Let's start over. I do not fault anyone for how they feel, but people need to understand that marriage is not always the answer in this type of situation.

You're right. Not always. I can think of some instances where it would probably be a mistake. But I would say that in most cases, marriage ought to be their first option to seriously consider.

Yet, there are a few that obviously spurted out YES they should marry like it was an easy fix and almost a punishment. I cannot and will not agree with that.

While I would agree with their final conclusion, I'm with you in that, of course it's not easy, and it most definitely shouldn't be used as some kind of 'punishment'. Nevertheless, I believe that aside from a few extenuating circumstances, getting married would be the right thing to do. And I say that without meaning any disrespect to those who have come to a different conclusion, be it intellectually, or from direct experience of such a situation.

There is also a reason why I am so passionate about this topic. I wonder if anyone can guess why.

You studied it at university?
You read an interesting book about it?
You put too much sugar in your tea?
You ate too many jammy dodgers?
You were captured by Somali pirates and this is all they talked about?
You were rescued by the Royal Navy and they were talking about it too?
You just finished off a bottle of Lamb's Navy Rum?

Am I close?

 

[Elizabeth619]

You're right. Not always. I can think of some instances where it would probably be a mistake. But I would say that in most cases, marriage ought to be their first option to seriously consider.



While I would agree with their final conclusion, I'm with you in that, of course it's not easy, and it most definitely shouldn't be used as some kind of 'punishment'. Nevertheless, I believe that aside from a few extenuating circumstances, getting married would be the right thing to do. And I say that without meaning any disrespect to those who have come to a different conclusion, be it intellectually, or from direct experience of such a situation.


You studied it at university?
You read an interesting book about it?
You put too much sugar in your tea?
You ate too many jammy dodgers?
You were captured by Somali pirates and this is all they talked about?
You were rescued by the Royal Navy and they were talking about it too?
You just finished off a bottle of Lamb's Navy Rum?

Am I close?

I'm a single mother.

I never married my son's father. I considered it, but when he was off messing around with other women while I was pregnant that was a pretty big clue marriage was not a good idea.

I know how it feels to be in this situation, and I wish that I was happily married, in love and living a wonderful life I am not.

My son is very well taken care of. Very much loved, and a blessing. I couldnt imagine my life without him, but his father is not at all supportive.

That is why I dont agree that marriage is always a good idea.

 

[Maddog]

I'm a single mother.

That was going to be my next guess.

 

[wildkiger]

I am another one in the boat of not getting married. At least not without wise council and lots of prayer and discernment. I just found out that a good friend of mine is engaged to this girl because she got pregnant. It's a long story, but this is a "good Christian girl" (she claims this) who has cheated on every boyfriend she's been known to have as well as not showing up to her own apt for supper that her boyfriend prepared because she was shacked up with a random guy she met at a bar! I sincerely hope my friend is simply doing what he thinks is right and has not been pressured into this decision, but I know in my heart it will not last and he will just be very hurt and end up bitter and angry. On the other hand, I only hope that their child has its father around for the sake of its sanity.

 

[needmesomejesus]

Of course not. They should marry because they're in love and are ready.

 

[preciouslove]

Please contact me through my
E-mail address([email protected])
Remember the distance or color does not tend
Matter but love matters a lot in
Life.
My e-mail address ([email protected])
precious.

 

[Marissa21]

I was married because of a pregnancy and it ended in divorce. Mostly because we were unequally yolked and our beliefs and values clashed.

I divorced for many reasoins but to this day the days of my marriage were my kids happiest days. Now they go from house to house and miss their family.

Every situation is different but its always worth the effort to get married if the couple loves each other and is equally yolked. I feel more content knowing I tried to do the right thing and bring my child up with both his parents.

Even when people get married for all the right reasons, statistics count divorce rates to 50% including Christain families. There is always risks no matter what decision you make in life. I truly believe if your open your heart to God and follow him he will direct you in the right path.

 

[Relena7]

Heck no! Not for the reason of pregnancy alone, anyway. It sounds convenient, and like it could be "the right thing to do", but that could turn out more disastrous in the end, for both people and the child if they do not know each other that well and turn out to not be compatible later on.

Just because they made one mistake doesn't mean they should be guilted into making a second mistake.
I don't think it is selfish.

 

[Asianplum]

I have to say no. I was in a relationship with my father's son and I waited and waited to get married. We talked about it several times but it never happened. I waited for 4 1/2 years and he cheated. Forcing a couple to marry because they have a child isn't right. Single parenting is hard and having a child going back and forth between both parents is hard too. But it's even harder when the child can sense the hostility between both parents. Parents can raise their child effectively without staying together if it isn't a good relationship.

 

[KiwiCA]

Hmmm tricky issue...

The only thing I will say is this, my husbands father got his mom pregnant when she was 16 and he was 21, they were both raised Christian. Thankfully, his father had his own house and job when it happened so he wasn't exactly a beat up loafer eating fruitloops in Star Wars pjs in his Moms basement. The most wonderful thing happened, he stepped up and took on his shoulders the consequences and responsibility of what he had done, and went on to have three more children and my father and mother in law (despite some hard times throughout the years) are still married and enjoy each other. However imperfect he has been, my husband holds his father in the most highest regard and respect for what he did.

I believe that many churches who force young people to get married do it with the best intentions and hope for an outcome like above, also in part because it keeps the woman from poverty and prevents the involved child/children from missing out on father involvement (which has a huge impact on their mental and social development). Partners who get bitter and divorce do so because they don't view marriage as a covenant, thats not the fault of whatever church organised the marriage. Its not a sin to stay together because of children. Sure its not the best scenario either, but research on child health supports it, while the marriage is intact there is always hope for someone wiser and godly to step in and help

 

[KiwiCA]

Moral of the story is - don't have sex before marriage!!!

You reap what you sow

 

[jadeP]

I guess marriage is not a requirement for a couple to conceive a baby but a responsibility as parents though marriage is not as popular as it once was. According to Pew Research, only 51 percent of American adults marry anymore. The amount has never been that low before. Increasingly, partners are choosing to stay together without the license and the wedding ceremony. These people may want to use cohabitation agreements -- contracts that protect personal belongings in case of a breakup, much like a prenuptial agreement. Source for this article: Cohabitation agreements protect assets of unmarried couples.