If I had a nickel everytime someone said...

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crosstweed

Guest
#21
If I had a nickel for every time I started an earnest prayer and then fell asleep...
Boy, ain't that the truth...


If I had a nickel for every time some random old guy said, "You should meet my son/grandson..."
*le sigh* (-_-)
 
May 12, 2016
443
365
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#23
Wow you're... right! :cool:

This one guy played bass tuba, and every time someone saw him lugging it up and down stairs they all said the same thing. "I bet you wish you played the piccolo." (Or flute, or some other small instrument.) And nobody ever stopped to think that everybody else had said the same thing. From him I learned to stop and think about the kind of thing people would always say in a situation, and then try to not say it.


Speaking of obvious things... If I had a nickel for every time somebody I know has named a black cat "Midnight" or a white cat "Snowball" I would use all that money to move to a place where they are more creative. Our pets have always had real names - Carlyle, Maxwell, Tiger Lily (that was my sister's doing) Hugo, Sam, Dan...
My son named his white cat (midnight).
 

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
Sep 17, 2013
5,542
2,720
113
Georgia
#24
"I ain't trying to be mean but......."

"I ain't trying to talk about anyone but....."
 

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
467
83
#25
"Knock on wood."
"But I meant well."
"But I'm on a good diet." - *
(*trust me, 9 times out of 10, they are not...)
 

Descyple

Senior Member
Jun 7, 2010
3,023
48
48
#26
If I had a nickel everytime someone mistook me for Bradley Cooper........................... I'd be in debt!!!
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,265
9,314
113
#28
My son named his white cat (midnight).
Now THAT I can agree with. It's in the same category as the guy who put a "No through traffic" sign beside his driveway, when his driveway was about the length of two cars.

And you can see a white cat much more easily at midnight. :cool:
 
Jul 25, 2015
893
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#29
I thought only old people knit?

Not to gossip but...

Your tall for a woman... (Im 5'10...still havent figured out how to respond to that one..umm thanks?)

You will thank me later...
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#30
I thought only old people knit?

Not to gossip but...

Your tall for a woman... (Im 5'10...still havent figured out how to respond to that one..umm thanks?)

You will thank me later...
I am 5 ft 4 inches tall, if I had a Nickel for everyone who has told me that I'm short.

The height thing is annoying isn't it? Yes, I'm vertically challenged I get it.
 
L

LiJo

Guest
#31
I thought only old people knit?

Not to gossip but...

Your tall for a woman... (Im 5'10...still havent figured out how to respond to that one..umm thanks?)

You will thank me later...
If I had a nickel every-time someone said "You're short!!"........I'm 5'1 :p
 
B

BurlyCarl

Guest
#32
If I had a Nickel for every time I heard a single woman said "I need a real man" I would be rich and attract a single woman looking for a "real man" LOL
 
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LiJo

Guest
#33
If I had a Nickel for every time I heard a single woman said "I need a real man" I would be rich and attract a single woman looking for a "real man" LOL

I hear ya!!! I'm involved with the Singles Ministry and I do hear that often from women!! lol
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#34
If I had a Nickel for every time I heard a single woman said "I need a real man" I would be rich and attract a single woman looking for a "real man" LOL
You should buy a t shirt that says, 100% real man. Lol.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,440
5,387
113
#35
You should buy a t shirt that says, 100% real man. Lol.
Be sure to add disclaimers, such as:

"No fillers, preservatives, artificial colors or flavorings. Gluten, dairy, sugar free. High protein, low carb. And 100% certified organic!"
 
J

jennymae

Guest
#36
Be sure to add disclaimers, such as:

"No fillers, preservatives, artificial colors or flavorings. Gluten, dairy, sugar free. High protein, low carb. And 100% certified organic!"
No sugar???
 
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BurlyCarl

Guest
#39
Be sure to add disclaimers, such as:

"No fillers, preservatives, artificial colors or flavorings. Gluten, dairy, sugar free. High protein, low carb. And 100% certified organic!"
Not a bad idea for a tshirt design
 

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
467
83
#40
"If I had a dime (or nickel) every time someone ... I would be rich."