If I had a nickel everytime someone said...

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N

ntw1103

Guest
#1
#1
Many times, I've heard someone say, "If I had a nickel every time someone said X" where X is something they think people say too often, and I've always found the phrase to be interesting. Sometimes, I even come across things, and thing the same line.
So, As my first thread(unless my memory was wiped and I don't remember one I created(in which case you should beware the government)) I'd like to try this.
Start out with "If I had a nickel everytime someone said... " and finish it with something you've thought of, or heard someone say.

As a starter:

If I had a nickel everytime someone said... "This is not a dating site" I'd be rich!

:]
 
C

crosstweed

Guest
#2
#2
If I had a nickel for every time someone said "I wish I had a nickel for every time someone said..."
>u>
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#3
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#3
Ya beat me to it by 7 minutes.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#4
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
2,416
113
#4
Can I please just start a speech tax and anytime anyone says anything to me they have to pay me a nickel?
 
C

crosstweed

Guest
#5
#5
cinder said:
Can I please just start a speech tax and anytime anyone says anything to me they have to pay me a nickel?
Click to expand...
Yes, but it only applies to career politicians and lawyers.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#6
Aug 13, 2014
27,260
9,308
113
#6
crosstweed said:
If I had a nickel for every time someone said "I wish I had a nickel for every time someone said..."
>u>
Click to expand...
AAARGH! I was thinking it when I read the title! Not even the OP, just the TITLE made me think of this, but crosstweed got it first!

*sigh*
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#7
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
4,305
113
#7
....every time someone says black lives matter or all lives matter.
 
NotmebutHim

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
#8
May 17, 2015
2,937
1,607
113
48
#8
......We're cheaper than the other guys!!!!!
 
Descyple

Descyple

Senior Member
#9
Jun 7, 2010
3,023
48
48
#9
If I had a nickel everytime someone told me to stop telling my jokes................. I would use that money to buy a portable laugh track so at least it would sound as though my jokes are funny!!!

P.S. I am not stopping anytime soon, so keep your nickels to yourselves. However I do accept cheques!!!
 
G

GaryA

Guest
#11
#11
Descyple said:
P.S. I am not stopping anytime soon, so keep your nickels to yourselves. However I do accept cheques!!!
Click to expand...
"Who would write you a check that was only worth a nickel???" :confused: hahahahaha ;)

:)
 
Sac49

Sac49

Senior Member
#12
Jun 26, 2016
582
30
0
#12
I am short only 5 foot tall

If i had a nickle for every time someone said "wow your short" i would shove it up their nose
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#13
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#13
If I had a nickel for every time someone said to me "Hey, you should be a tattoo artist"... I'd be rich. I'll let you guys just wonder about that for a while. :p
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#14
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#14
If I had a nickel for every time I started an earnest prayer and then fell asleep...
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#16
Aug 13, 2014
27,260
9,308
113
#16
Sac49 said:
I am short only 5 foot tall

If i had a nickle for every time someone said "wow your short" i would shove it up their nose
Click to expand...
Wow you're... right! :cool:

This one guy played bass tuba, and every time someone saw him lugging it up and down stairs they all said the same thing. "I bet you wish you played the piccolo." (Or flute, or some other small instrument.) And nobody ever stopped to think that everybody else had said the same thing. From him I learned to stop and think about the kind of thing people would always say in a situation, and then try to not say it.


Speaking of obvious things... If I had a nickel for every time somebody I know has named a black cat "Midnight" or a white cat "Snowball" I would use all that money to move to a place where they are more creative. Our pets have always had real names - Carlyle, Maxwell, Tiger Lily (that was my sister's doing) Hugo, Sam, Dan...
 
Addison

Addison

Senior Member
#17
Jun 28, 2014
1,028
46
0
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#17
​If I had a nickel every time a girl thought I was ugly, I'd be attractive by now.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#18
Aug 13, 2014
27,260
9,308
113
#18
Addison said:
​If I had a nickel every time a girl thought I was ugly, I'd be attractive by now.
Click to expand...
Yeah, money has that effect...

"I wish I was married
To old Miss Muldoney
She's ugly as sin
But has beautiful money"
 
C

crosstweed

Guest
#19
#19
Lynx said:
Wow you're... right! :cool:

This one guy played bass tuba, and every time someone saw him lugging it up and down stairs they all said the same thing. "I bet you wish you played the piccolo." (Or flute, or some other small instrument.) And nobody ever stopped to think that everybody else had said the same thing. From him I learned to stop and think about the kind of thing people would always say in a situation, and then try to not say it.


Speaking of obvious things... If I had a nickel for every time somebody I know has named a black cat "Midnight" or a white cat "Snowball" I would use all that money to move to a place where they are more creative. Our pets have always had real names - Carlyle, Maxwell, Tiger Lily (that was my sister's doing) Hugo, Sam, Dan...
Click to expand...

We've got cats named Protocol, Turd-Blossom, Spotted Pork, and Dropsy, to name a few...
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#20
#20
If I had a nickel .... it would cost me more to exchange it than the value of the coin, so I'd let you keep it :p
 
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