If you’re planning to go on a date with someone special, who should pay for it?

[Mel85]

I would have brought that up when we were planning to meet for food, not when the bill comes. But I may be an overplanner as well.

Plannings good, but not everyone is a planner lol.

 

[Mel85]

You know what I've never been asked that, or thought about it, and I don't really know how to answer. But how often does that situation happen. Although having said that I wouldn't know if it had. You've stumped me here.

T

Probably doesn’t happen often, but then again, we’re all from different countries, cultures, backgrounds etc. Maybe it is only common for people who maybe struggling financially?

 

[Mel85]

If you're planning to go on a date with someone special...

Wait, what if none of my dates are special?


...

Then find one that is.

 

[Kaps89]

Probably doesn’t happen often, but then again, we’re all from different countries, cultures, backgrounds etc. Maybe it is only common for people who maybe struggling financially?

If I were struggling financially I'd probably just not go on a date because I'd feel like I had to pay and perhaps wouldn't be able too. Although it depends what your conventional date is. A dinner date in my area is likely to be like say £60 but similarly I've been on dates I've much preferred that have cost a fraction of that.

T

 

[Hamarr]

In friendly situations I usually ask what I owe or what's my share. I've learned not to fight if they want to pay it all, unless I think that ends up being a really unequal situation. Although one time I think my friend and I finally agreed that we'd each pay each other's share of the bill. If I ever go on a date, I'll probably do the same. Let you know if and when that ever happens.

I think the correct answer here is dine n' dash.

 

[Mel85]

If I were struggling financially I'd probably just not go on a date because I'd feel like I had to pay and perhaps wouldn't be able too. Although it depends what your conventional date is. A dinner date in my area is likely to be like say £60 but similarly I've been on dates I've much preferred that have cost a fraction of that.

T

True, i guess it depends on the person as well, I’m really not the type to be fussy about where we’d go for a date. I’d like to keep things chill and probably just get fish n chips at the park or beach 😂 that’s less than $20 or even $15.

 

[Kaps89]

True, i guess it depends on the person as well, I’m really not the type to be fussy about where we’d go for a date. I’d like to keep things chill and probably just get fish n chips at the park or beach 😂 that’s less than $20 or even $15.

It does doesn't I. Neither am I. I'm all for fish and chips and the park or the beach. That's not to say I don't like treating people but I prefer people who are down to earth, who prefer company over location. Generally speaking if I like someone enough we could be anywhere in the world, doing anything and it wouldn't matter.

T

 

[Mel85]

It does doesn't I. Neither am I. I'm all for fish and chips and the park or the beach. That's not to say I don't like treating people but I prefer people who are down to earth, who prefer company over location. Generally speaking if I like someone enough we could be anywhere in the world, doing anything and it wouldn't matter.

T

Agree. Well, last thing I’d want is for the guy to feel uncomfortable if we were to go somewhere fancy lol I think for me just getting to know them at a super relaxed and chilled level is all good, like you said, company is important than location. If he wishes to splash out and invest more into the date, then I’m not complaining either, but I’d still offer the invite for fish n chips! 😂

 

[Kaps89]

Agree. Well, last thing I’d want is for the guy to feel uncomfortable if we were to go somewhere fancy lol I think for me just getting to know them at a super relaxed and chilled level is all good, like you said, company is important than location. If he wishes to splash out and invest more into the date, then I’m not complaining either, but I’d still offer the invite for fish n chips! 😂

Ha sometimes it can just be 'too' fancy and I feel like I'm trying to play a role of something

If I met a girl who was happy with fish and chips followed by a walk along the beach she'd have me hook, line and sinker. I'm a proper old school romantic me. If you ever make it to this side of the pond I'll sort you out some fish and chips

T

 

[Solemateleft]

How else will she know how special she is - have to show her that chivalry is not dead - hope to make a good first impression as an honorable gentlemen...

 

[Kaps89]

How else will she know how special she is - have to show her that chivalry is not dead - hope to make a good first impression as an honorable gentlemen...

Chivalry is less to do with money and more to do with actions in my opinion. The little things matter. Making a good first impression is obviously important but the way I look at chivalry is opening the car door for her, pulling a chair out for her at the table, taking her coat, offering her your coat/umbrella in the rain etc. Although to get to that stage you obviously have to make a good first impression.

T

 

[Mel85]

I look at chivalry is opening the car door for her, pulling a chair out for her at the table, taking her coat, offering her your coat/umbrella in the rain etc. Although to get to that stage you obviously have to make a good first impression.

T

Where can we get those men who do that? Lol.

 

[Kaps89]

Where can we get those men who do that? Lol.

I dunno but I'm one of them. Like I said earlier I'm an old school romantic. In my opinion that's how men SHOULD always be with their ladies but I know very few men who are. I've always been like this. I can also cook, clean, use all major household appliances and do DIY and believe that household tasks should be split 50/50 unless something dictates otherwise. Maybe I should start a 'chivalrous mens' dating website. I'd obviously have to introduce a strict vetting procedure but I think I could get it off the ground.

T

 

[Solemateleft]

Chivalry is less to do with money and more to do with actions in my opinion. The little things matter. Making a good first impression is obviously important but the way I look at chivalry is opening the car door for her, pulling a chair out for her at the table, taking her coat, offering her your coat/umbrella in the rain etc. Although to get to that stage you obviously have to make a good first impression.

T

Yep, all that - and some... just an old school hopeless romantic... I'm sure that after that first impression is established - I'd be glad to respect her wishes and desires just as well... If she is hard pressed to pay her way - I'm certain that I'd be willing to allow her to influence me to see things her way...

 

[A-Visitant]

You've got to get a date first...

 

[Kaps89]

You've got to get a date first...

That's very true. I didn't date for like five years then had a succession of dates over a four week period. It was then I decided that I wasn't gonna date for six months.

T

 

[ChandlerFan]

I don't think there is really a hard and fast "should" or "shouldn't" here. I strongly believe the man should initiate, and I believe the initiator should be the one who pays. So you could say I arrive at the conclusion that the man should pay, but if a woman made the first move and it was her idea, then it would make more sense to me that she paid. But at the end of the day, it's not a matter of obedience to God. It doesn't carry that kind of weight. I think it's something that, especially when you move into a serious relationship, you have to decide on as a couple.

 

[A-Visitant]

That's very true. I didn't date for like five years then had a succession of dates over a four week period. It was then I decided that I wasn't gonna date for six months.

T

Lucky you! I haven't had a date in three years I would like to go on one, but it's seeming more and more impossible as I get older.

 

[Kaps89]

Lucky you! I haven't had a date in three years I would like to go on one, but it's seeming more and more impossible as I get older.

You're only as old as you feel. I'm not even thirty yet and a lot of the people feel like they're 'running out of time'. Which is rubbish. We have all the time in the world.

T

 

[Mel85]

That's very true. I didn't date for like five years then had a succession of dates over a four week period. It was then I decided that I wasn't gonna date for six months.

T

Those dates that you had, did you take them all out for fish n chips?