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Pheonix

Senior Member
Jan 17, 2007
578
7
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#21
Yeah, but how can I be happy with myself when nothing ever goes right?
you've barely lived so I'll say this. In my few years I've seen disaster after calamity, and the one thing that stands out looking back is that I could never believe things would work out. A very nasty breakup when I was about your age caused me to think things could never be good again. That was added to my father leaving us when I was 16 for a man. After that I had a horrible time finding work. I was unemployed for 7 years after spending thousands on college.

I'm still single but far better off than if I'd married the woman. I don't talk to my father much and seldom see him, christmas is about all. as for work, I've been working for two years now and despite the nasty circumstances with work this past fall and winter(I was basically off for two out of 4 months) a government workshare program kept me going. There was a while there I considered trying somewhere else. Things have picked up, I'm debt free and I'm relatively healthy. The only thing I think I really want to ask God for is a companion to share my life with. However, if that isn't what God has in mind then I guess I'm alright with that too. For all I know God's yes has been held up by satan just as the answer to one of daniels prayers was held up. My point is that things will work out, even if it doesn't seem that way, when you look back you will realize how foolish and unnecessary your worrying was. God looks after his own. Even if its not the outcome we expect or its delayed. Things will always come out for the best. If nothing else remember we are here only for a time a few short years of sorrow and agony, then we are in Heaven with God for the rest of Eternity. A span outside of time.

if that is hard to imagine. Think of a year then multiply it by itself to the power of about whatever comes after trillion. Then muliply that number by itself and you wont even come close to eternity.

When God is involved things always work out for the best
 
M

Matthew

Guest
#22
I don't count myself as either as I am just content to focus on what's good in my life right now, it's tough sometimes but that's what you need to do.

When you are on your own there's a lot of things you can do that you can't in a relationship and people who long for a partner often focus only on what they will gain and not what they will lose, the ability to do what you like with your time and money without needing to consult anyone is great and while it's worth giving up for a good relationship it's always something you'll miss.

If you live life always thinking your glass is half empty you will never be happy or content, if you aren't feeling that way you need to get perespective and start thinking differently, consider that someone who is married might be looking at you and thinking to themselves how they wish they had your kind of freedom again!

The single ain't such a bad life.
 

Pheonix

Senior Member
Jan 17, 2007
578
7
18
#23
if you aren't feeling that way you need to get perespective and start thinking differently, consider that someone who is married might be looking at you and thinking to themselves how they wish they had your kind of freedom again!
I keep hearing about that from people at work. They are always complaining about something in regards to spouse or Girlfriend/boyfriend. They are forever joking about things like they'd sleep around if they could. They only thing I can figure is that they regret their circumstances, which is ironically usually their own fault.
 
M

Matthew

Guest
#25
I keep hearing about that from people at work. They are always complaining about something in regards to spouse or Girlfriend/boyfriend. They are forever joking about things like they'd sleep around if they could. They only thing I can figure is that they regret their circumstances, which is ironically usually their own fault.
That sounds about right, a lot of time I get people saying to me I should enjoy my youth and singleness and get out there with as many girls as I can get and how they wish they still could etc....not good and a sad indicator of the state of their marriage/relationship.

But a lot of others simply remember how much they enjoyed being their own master in terms of where they go and who they go with and what the spare money gets spent on, that kind of freedom is undervalued by young single people becuase most times they haven't experienced the reality of needing to be aware of so many other factors that are present when part of a couple.

These threads about desperately wanting to have a partner, cannot help but think that once it happens they'll wonder why they were in such a hurry!
 
Jun 4, 2006
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#26
These threads about desperately wanting to have a partner, cannot help but think that once it happens they'll wonder why they were in such a hurry!
I think the grass always look greener on the other side, and no one can appreciate what they have now.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,695
5,605
113
#27
I think the grass always look greener on the other side, and no one can appreciate what they have now.
And as I know I've said in several threads... it doesn't matter what side of the fence you're on. The grass still has to be watered, fertilized, mowed, and cut...

When you're single, you have only one cow in the pasture to worry about, theoretically.

Ready to take on an entire herd as well, RIGHT NOW? Go for it, because I don't think I am!:D
 
M

Matthew

Guest
#28
I think the grass always look greener on the other side, and no one can appreciate what they have now.
I think that's true but only for younger people and those who live somewhat sheltered lives, I say that because when you're young everything is new and there's always a new experience around the corner so it's natural to focus on what's coming around for you next and how that might compare to what's been and gone.

But it's true that with experience comes wisdom and the fact is what I've experienced in life has proven to me beyond all doubt that what I don't have isn't any better than what I do have, it's just different. We sometimes torture ourselves with the belief that what we have is always less than what we could have and so we never really appreciate the good all around, it's always a problem but moreso when you're younger.

I would stake all my earthly possesions that young people desperately eager for a boyfriend or girlfriend will look back 5 years into that relationship and think that it wasn't quite the nirvana they dreamed it to be, when they realise that they'll begin to do away with the idea that it's always greener on the other side, it's just the angle of the sun.
 

Pheonix

Senior Member
Jan 17, 2007
578
7
18
#29
I think that's true but only for younger people and those who live somewhat sheltered lives, I say that because when you're young everything is new and there's always a new experience around the corner so it's natural to focus on what's coming around for you next and how that might compare to what's been and gone.

But it's true that with experience comes wisdom and the fact is what I've experienced in life has proven to me beyond all doubt that what I don't have isn't any better than what I do have, it's just different. We sometimes torture ourselves with the belief that what we have is always less than what we could have and so we never really appreciate the good all around, it's always a problem but moreso when you're younger.

I would stake all my earthly possesions that young people desperately eager for a boyfriend or girlfriend will look back 5 years into that relationship and think that it wasn't quite the nirvana they dreamed it to be, when they realise that they'll begin to do away with the idea that it's always greener on the other side, it's just the angle of the sun.

Or the shade of paint that's been sprayed on the lawn.
 

WomanLovesTX

Senior Member
Jan 1, 2010
1,390
38
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#32
Married or not. Single or not. Where ever I go there I am. In all things be content.
 
I

iliveforHim

Guest
#33
Singleness is the freedom to worship God whenever. Singleness is the availability to pray at all times for any reason. Singleness is actually a time to be treasured; God calls it a blessing. With pressures from peers and society, from friends and family, from media and self; most people turn their singleness into a quest for the perfect mate, and we idolize the idea of being attached and lonely no more. As Christians our focus should be on Jesus, and we must resist the urge to idolize the marriage idea. Jesus will make us happy, not some human. Jesus will love us completely and never fail us, again not so much with a mate. This lesson took me 15 years to learn, so I understand from whence I speak. The trick is to just let go and live freely in Christ's perfect love.

Hi Glenwood,

I like your response very much. I want to ask you what you think, though, about finding love with a Christian woman who already loves God and feels for Him what you feel...I wonder what it would be like to be in love with someone who follows a person's faith as strongly as they do? Doesn't that sound wonderful? And does God want us to be without a mate? That's also something I wonder...has He created us to be without a companion? I have never liked to be alone (single), but now, with His Grace and love, I'm finding that I don't feel alone...lonely some times, maybe, but never alone...I'd rather grow closer to Him than to anyone else, but I still wonder, though, does He have a plan for us to find that link to someone special?...I hope you don't mind the questions or thoughts... :)
 
Last edited:
May 21, 2009
3,955
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#34
Do the happy dance like Snoopy. Be thankful to God for everything. Theres a time and a season for everything. You have to lift up your spirits with good thoughts.
 
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greatkraw

Guest
#35
Do the happy dance like Snoopy. Be thankful to God for everything. Theres a time and a season for everything. You have to lift up your spirits with good thoughts.
23438_WrenSite_DancingSnoopy.jpg

:D:D:D:D:D
 
J

jesuschrist

Guest
#36
jesus christ love you all
 

QuestionTime

Senior Member
Feb 16, 2010
1,435
20
38
#37
Happily Single?

Happily + Single in the same sentence?

This truly is a mystery to me...

Quest
 
C

Chelssey

Guest
#39
Okay, I will be honest, I sometimes have my days where i just want to have the man God has for me in my life. But, when I am on a good day where I'm happy to be single, I find that NOT thinking of myself and doing God's will for me that day, I don't notice I'm single. I am happy to just be God's child, doing God's will!
 

QuestionTime

Senior Member
Feb 16, 2010
1,435
20
38
#40
I was just trying to make a funny comment. hehehe... err... ugh...

I often feel an emptiness that just doesn't go away. As well I sometimes wake up from sleep thinking about women I could have had relationships with, but didn't because they weren't Christian or weren't quite perfectly what I wanted. I then regret that I didn't take a short cut and settle for them, because I would have someone now. A warm body next to mine and a hand to hold.

Quest