"If You Want to Have Sex, Get Married." Ok. But What If You Want to Have Sex, and You're ALREADY Married?

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Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
For a "minister", you sure do make a lot of wrong judgments.

I've listened to plenty.

You're focusing on the one exception, and, even then, I heard enough.

No worries.

You can have the last word.
You SAID you skipped over her posts. I'm not making any judgments or assumptions.


OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
Live4HimX here is the short version, since you skip over the long version:

You talk and talk and talk about your side but refuse to listen to other people's sides, so there's no reason to keep talking to you when you won't listen.
I'm used to being around people who either want me to give in and be quiet, or be coerced to what they want me to do. I used to be a chronic people pleaser, and it was killing me.

I remember the first time Lynx and I had a knock-down, drag-out argument (there have been many, lol) outside of CC. I finally got so frustrated that I told him, "We obviously don't see eye-to-eye on this and aren't getting anywhere, so I'm just going to stop talking about it anymore."

I was in utter shock when he responded, "No, no, no, how can I understand where you're coming from if you stop talking? We can get through this! Just keep talking to help me understand!" But it was because we'd known each other for years, and I'd seen him in other chats, and knew he was like this with people he'd been talking to for a long time -- male or female, it didn't make a difference.

He always wanted to talk things out.

I've experienced the same thing with Cinder when we've seen things from different sides as well.

So these are the types of relationships I now gravitate towards, and find that I don't adjust well to anything else.

In other situations, I can joke around a bit, try to be polite and cordial, as long as it's kept on the surface, because without it being genuinely two-sided, there isn't any chance of it going beyond that.


Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
I recall seoulsearch actually had a good point, once I figured out what she meant. I wound up agreeing with her and we did what she said we should do.

Mostly it was a concept she was thinking of that had never occurred to me, and I didn't know what she was talking about at first.


Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
if married person asked me for sex advice i'd say thats not being two sided that would be three sided.
Id be like go tell your husband and wife to come here and we'll all talk about it together.

so they would come and then I'd just leave them in a room alone together. I dont want to know about their problems honestly

Even if they call me on the phone begging me Lanolin! we need help with our sex problem!
Id be like...talk to the hand