If you're "not on the market" is it safe to say your current guy is okay with you as you are? If so, then why think too much over it? If not, maybe that's the contention and why you're asking. Unless you just mean you're not allowing yourself to date now and there is no guy. "Off the market" could mean multiple things. So could "independent" as already stated.
I don't think it's a "one-size-fits-all" sort of answer to this. Simply put, the right person will work well with you.
Hi Jamie, welcome to the site!
The "not currently on the market" thing was intentionally vague. But I will say that I have come to very much appreciate the rare man who doesn't need me to be weak in order for him to feel strong. My issue is not with any men I am currently close to though.
For the past few years I've been trying to sort through some issues and mindsets to figure out what is actually Godly and proper versus what might just stem from cultural Christianity or things I might have heard as a young adult that took root as Biblical truth but might not have been. A lot of these issues have to do with dating, attraction, marital submission, leadership, gender roles, and the like.
I do not mean any of the following as bragging or trying to say that I am "independent" or whatever (because there are a lot of things that I am not good at, and as this thread has established it's a terribly uncharming thing to assert lol), but I will say that I am the kind of person that gets handed a lot of responsibility. I get asked to manage projects and make things happen (and by all accounts I generally do a good job of it), all while simultaneously hearing that leadership is only for men, proper women just make stuff happen behind the scenes without having any actual authority. Perhaps all that is true. I'm honestly not sure. I don't need fancy titles and honestly sometimes I wonder if being born female is my "thorn in the flesh" that helps keep me from pride (no I have not asked God to take this "thorn" from me, and I'm not going to lol
).
Anyway..... I do agree that the right person will work well with me, but my point in starting this thread was to find some pieces to the puzzle of how God actually wants me to be. Perhaps being too "independent" would cause some friction in a marriage. Like
@Cameron143 said, it could possibly rob me and a future husband of some blessings if I'm unable to accept his provision and always trying to fend for myself. And like
@Kainos pointed out, part of what makes a guy feel manly and fulfilled is being able to provide for those he loves, which is something I had not really considered. I appreciate all the input!
