Is sex ok outside of marriage? Is a 33 year old virgin a freak today?

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kaijo

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2017
355
54
28
#61
Hi,

I'm a mom with 2 gorgeous (at least I think so) daughters. Both are virgins....and now, they are Christian, but my daughter that is 33 feels like in today's world she is a freak because there are so few virgins her age left. What is a guy's viewpoint? She has been in pageants, and is a deep girl. She has social anxiety, which I think comes from the attention she received in school....to aggressive for her. Now, here she is, 33 wanting to meet Mr. Right, but fears that guys will look at her weirdlybecause at her age she is still a virgin. Comments???
Tell ur daughter that shes got it all backwards...

Its the "world" ..and the ones "in" it ...that are the freaks.

But... the "world" will keep trying to convince her of the opposite.

Thats how the devil works ;)
 

kaijo

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2017
355
54
28
#62
Tell her to be stronger than Esau was ^~
 

kaijo

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2017
355
54
28
#63
Also, Social Anxiety Disorder stems from ...judging yourself...and.. afraid of being judged. (it goes deeper tho...i know...i have it too).

Should try to find out why she judges herself (or..what things she judges herself about =/ )
 
Jun 24, 2017
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#64
I don't think saving their virginity for their spouse is the only thing young girls and young women need to be taught. As parents we need to teach at a very young age all the consequences of sex before marriage. Not just from a Biblical and spiritual standpoint but also teaching them all the risks they take physically and mentally. These are all worse/long term consequences than just feeling like an outcast to their peers or the rest of society.
I also don't think that "saving themselves" for their spouse is the only thing that should be taught. In fact I believe it should be largely avoided for the most part except to be taught as a benefit, because it's certainly not a compelling reason when your virginity was already taken or at the moment you already have your arms wrapped around your significant other. A teenage boy has trouble seeing past his report card, much less seeing marriage as a concrete reality. Then you add in the hormones and you might as well give up marriage as a reason altogether. But I don't want to talk only about teenagers because it's important for people of all ages and stages of life. Many times it's talked about as sex before marriage, but really it should be talked about as sex apart from marriage or outside of marriage. And not everyone will want to be obedient to the Lord. This is where we see brokenness apart from Christ and as such I agree with you that the more practical aspects should be taught as well. It's not something that's popular in the world. In fact right now there is an article in "Teen Vogue" promoting or at the least condoning anal sex and the risks are set aside and not mentioned. The risks should be put on display just as much as if not more than the rewards for being pure. And that we should teach from a platform of purity rather than abstinence.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#65
You might misunderstand a little Mr. Ugly :p
A child who is molested and raped or a woman who is raped doesn't have a choice. If a Godly man or any man for that matter wouldn't value a wife saving her virginity until marriage and find that a diamond in the rough these days....well...ludacris! Ladies, you've done only good things for yourselves by not giving in and holding your Christian values and virtue through very difficult years for teens and young people the last 20 years with all the peer pressure. I personally applaud you.
I never said anything about not finding value in it. I said a woman who is Embarrassed by it is less appealing.
Also I did state what a good thing it was for her daughter. I guess you missed or ignored my First post in this thread to justify your rant.
This thread isn't about rape, either. It's about a woman's choice and how it's causing her to feel embarrassed about a decision she should be proud of. But instead you've stolen this thread and turned it into your issue.

Lastly you use the old standby of "walking in someone else's shoes". Then you go on to tell men how they should feel about something and if they don't they are 'ludicrous'. How many times have you been in my shoes? How many times have you functioned as a man that you can dictate what men should or should not think or feel? And to criticize those that don't follow your standards?
I could go on but i suspect I'm getting nowhere anyways.
Just keep in mind you haven't walked in others shows either. Consider that before labeling them ludicrous.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,779
818
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#66
And as I said to you personally it wasn't a rant out of anger. I was not mad but when you said 'stolen' about a comment I made...you sparked my passion. Education is important. If you feel you need a public apology, you may have one. I apologise Mr. Ugly if you feel I said anything to you in anger or misinterpreted your post. Please don't misinterpret my justifed use of the words stolen virginity.
 
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P3nnywise

Guest
#67
I think it's a bit ridiculous how people created this extra-biblical concept of the worth/value of one's virginity. When we read the bible, it speaks of the virgin Mary to signify that Christ was the only begotten son of Heavenly Father. The bible never builds this prestigious view of a "virgin" any greater than someone who is obedient to the rest of His word.

If we lust in our minds, it's no different than if we had intercourse. Sure, man might still give you the title of "virgin", but in the eyes of our Heavenly Father, lusting in mind or in flesh is no different. Man puts this fake and extra-biblical value to one's virginity to deter people from sin and make one sinner appear more pure than another sinner. It's utter rubbish.

To answer the question though: It is wrong to engage in any sexual/lustful behavior prior to marriage. It's not wrong because they didn't "save it for their husband or wife" and as such, it's not as special... It's wrong because Heavenly Father has said so in His word.
 
Jun 24, 2017
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#68
To answer the question though: It is wrong to engage in any sexual/lustful behavior prior to marriage. It's not wrong because they didn't "save it for their husband or wife" and as such, it's not as special... It's wrong because Heavenly Father has said so in His word.
I like your comment, but my caveat would be that it is special as a gift, but it's not the physicality that's special about it, it's the purity that's special about it. I'd agree that virgins don't have anymore worth than an non-virgin, but for someone to have held their intimacy in waiting and to have you be the one they give it to? I'd say that's quite a special thing.
 
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P3nnywise

Guest
#69
I like your comment, but my caveat would be that it is special as a gift, but it's not the physicality that's special about it, it's the purity that's special about it. I'd agree that virgins don't have anymore worth than an non-virgin, but for someone to have held their intimacy in waiting and to have you be the one they give it to? I'd say that's quite a special thing.
I agree with you that waiting until marriage is very special. Just as someone who doesn't murder someone else is special for obeying God's commandment. I'm just not following on the "purity" thing though.

What makes me feel so wonderful is knowing that God loves me (us) so much that He sent His only begotten son Jesus Christ to atone for the sins of mankind so that we would have an opportunity to spend eternity with Him. Someone who fornicates but sincerely repents with a sincere and broken heart will be forgiven thanks to the atonement. In a sense, they are "made clean again". It's as if, they never did it in the first place. However, in society, it doesn't matter if you repent, you're "not a virgin anymore" with an implied meaning that you aren't as pure as someone who hasn't. That isn't biblical at all. I'd argue it's anti-biblical even.

Because of this, I've known many young women who don't bother resisting once they messed up. "I lost my virginity at a young age, I may as well now..." It teaches them they aren't special anymore, that they can't be "pure" or "made clean again" when in reality they can be if they accept Christ as their Lord and Savior and ask Heavenly Father for forgiveness. They would be just as pure as someone who was a virgin.
 
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tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,581
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Tennessee
#70
I agree with you that waiting until marriage is very special. Just as someone who doesn't murder someone else is special for obeying God's commandment. I'm just not following on the "purity" thing though.

What makes me feel so wonderful is knowing that God loves me (us) so much that He sent His only begotten son Jesus Christ to atone for the sins of mankind so that we would have an opportunity to spend eternity with Him. Someone who fornicates but sincerely repents with a sincere and broken heart will be forgiven thanks to the atonement. In a sense, they are "made clean again". It's as if, they never did it in the first place. However, in society, it doesn't matter if you repent, you're "not a virgin anymore" with an implied meaning that you aren't as pure as someone who hasn't. That isn't biblical at all. I'd argue it's anti-biblical even.
I'm trending towards your point of view. A repentant sinner is as white as the driven snow in the eyes of God. I don't see how you can get purer than that.
 
Jun 24, 2017
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#71
I agree with you that waiting until marriage is very special. Just as someone who doesn't murder someone else is special for obeying God's commandment. I'm just not following on the "purity" thing though.

What makes me feel so wonderful is knowing that God loves me (us) so much that He sent His only begotten son Jesus Christ to atone for the sins of mankind so that we would have an opportunity to spend eternity with Him. Someone who fornicates but sincerely repents with a sincere and broken heart will be forgiven thanks to the atonement. In a sense, they are "made clean again". It's as if, they never did it in the first place. However, in society, it doesn't matter if you repent, you're "not a virgin anymore" with an implied meaning that you aren't as pure as someone who hasn't. That isn't biblical at all. I'd argue it's anti-biblical even.

Because of this, I've known many young women who don't bother resisting once they messed up. "I lost my virginity at a young age, I may as well now..." It teaches them they aren't special anymore, that they can't be "pure" or "made clean again" when in reality they can be if they accept Christ as their Lord and Savior and ask Heavenly Father for forgiveness. They would be just as pure as someone who was a virgin.
I don't think our views are dissimilar. We may just be getting hung up on words. Check post #59 & #64 for clarification. They are pure, but sin has real world consequences that does not get negated through repentance.
 

garet82

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2011
679
85
28
#72
I am not a man but for me n many girls here its something sacral. no worries she isnt weird n she isnt not the only one in her age. Many women like her and we are fine just be like that.
Her mainly focus now is Jesus n be obidience. thats what is more important thing in live. God bless amen
 

garet82

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2011
679
85
28
#73
Sex outside of marriage is SIN and breaking one of tenth Commandement.
and 33 years old or how old she is its good thing to preserve what God has given to her. Being virgin isnt freak be gretful for that n keep focus on GOD.
GOD Bless amen
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,433
822
113
#74
Hey Cinderelda,

No your daughter is not a freak, infact its very admirable she is willing to save herself for marrage.
She should be commended for daring to be seperate from the world. She is doing the right thing.
I can honestly say if she were my daughter i would be proud of her.

tell her not to worry about what people think, tell her that all that matters is what she thinks of herself,
and what Jesus thinks of her. Shes not weird, she is a Godly and Virtueous woman. Someone to be honoured and respected.
I honestly wish there were more women like her. Men as well, then I wouldnt have to listen to women complain about men treating them like crap.

Tell her to keep her eyes on Jesus and keep doing whats right, If God has a man for her, he will respect and honour her, and wont look at her as a freak.

Sincerly
Mike


Hi,

I'm a mom with 2 gorgeous (at least I think so) daughters. Both are virgins....and now, they are Christian, but my daughter that is 33 feels like in today's world she is a freak because there are so few virgins her age left. What is a guy's viewpoint? She has been in pageants, and is a deep girl. She has social anxiety, which I think comes from the attention she received in school....to aggressive for her. Now, here she is, 33 wanting to meet Mr. Right, but fears that guys will look at her weirdlybecause at her age she is still a virgin. Comments???
 
E

Edje

Guest
#75
God knows what He is doing. I am single. Never got married and i am 54 years old. I have no children. I belief that God will bring the right person on the right time to me.