Is there a big shortage of Christian men for Christian women to marry?

[NukePooch]

Excellent point, Nuke. I'm sorry for being somewhat too blunt and a bit insensitive. And, the guys aren't the only ones who have struggled, I know. After all, part of why we look for what we look for is to keep our own selves moving along the right path--not to rescue us, but, as you said, it's a former sin, and we want to do all it takes to hopefully make sure it stays that way.

No insensitivity at all...just bear in mind that a guy might not exactly be all that open to talk about it...but talk about it you should. Sometimes guys might need help to quit. I know a youth pastor who has said that his wife always gets the mail, because he gets Sports Illustrated (and she throws away the swimsuit issue) and she gets lingerie catalogs (which she won't let him see). She never would have known about his past porn addiction if they hadn't discussed it...so with a few easy steps, they keep the temptation out of the house.

For that matter...as a relationship progresses, there will come a time when some things need to come out in the open...things that have been covered in other threads like sexual past, addictions, or anything else that might inhibit the relationship like being outed on Facebook for having bad breath.

 

[FireWire]

Thanks for bringing that "risk of rejection" thing up, abitofinsomnia. Ladies, I'm probably not the only one who has heard the way some of the women we know talk about shooting guys down, and taking some sort of sadistic pleasure in it. That's just wrong. No wonder they won't ask. There's no reason to be unkind unless a guy is harassing you in some way, right?

This unfortunately still happens all too often. In my personal experience women are just far too critical and of course don't look at or even acknowlege their own flaws because hey, men are so much worse. I wouldn't even think of persuing a woman like that let alone getting to know them.

 

[Lalilo]

Hello Fellow countryman. I think the problem we have in New Zealand is there is far too few Christians. With only 4 million people in New Zealand and less than 10% of the population being Christians and the country being the size of Britian. I've probably got a better change of winning lotto than meeting Mrs Right.

 

[FireWire]

Hi Lalilo

That's true to so makes it even harder. You have to so careful as well because those that say they are christian often turn out to be the opposite.

I hope you weren't affected by the earthquake too much.

 

[Lalilo]

Hello Firewise No I wasn't effected by the earthquake. I live just north of Auckland. I feel for the people of Christchurch. One major earthquake is bad enough, but two within six months. I pray the fault lineChristchurch is on will settle down soon, so they can start getting their lives back to normal. I also pray they will listen to God's wisdom in case they have another one.

 

[FireWire]

I'm in Auckland too. I hope that's the end of it too as I don't think the people there can take much more. I hope the whole country hears Gods voice in this.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Try the convent, i've heard there are lots of single christian women there.

 

[thimsrebma]

Try the convent, i've heard there are lots of single christian women there.

You are so wise.

 

[Liamson]

Try the convent, i've heard there are lots of single christian women there.

Yahtzee, its a Goldmine.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Yahtzee, its a Goldmine.

and how would YOU know ??

 

[Rheod]

I would like to find this land of Churches full of women.

Here we have teenage girls and married women. There is this gap that exists. The ones that are here and are the right age identify with either teenage girls or married women. Another reason to move.

I would love to do the same bit with men. And to comment on what you said earlier, I think the reason young adults (20-30) have an immature attitude to marriage is because they don't take time to learn about marriage before hand. Ok I'm 19 (20 in may) but I wannabe a good wife to my future husband so I start my learning from now

 

[IQ]

Hello Fellow countryman. I think the problem we have in New Zealand is there is far too few Christians. With only 4 million people in New Zealand and less than 10% of the population being Christians and the country being the size of Britian. I've probably got a better change of winning lotto than meeting Mrs Right.

It's a big world Lalilo - don't limit Gods Power. Open your eyes to the larger world and see all the beautiful Christian women out there.
God Bless.

 

[persecuted]

Response to title. Yeah, there is a shortage on both sides... the good christian girls get "dogged" by much more aggressive non-christian men so the christian men end up marrying hookers and then the poor jilted divorced christian girls have no christian men left to marry after the non-christian men dump them for their next "doggin." Its actually a pretty vicious cycle.

 

[Liamson]

Response to title. Yeah, there is a shortage on both sides... the good christian girls get "dogged" by much more aggressive non-christian men so the christian men end up marrying hookers and then the poor jilted divorced christian girls have no christian men left to marry after the non-christian men dump them for their next "doggin." Its actually a pretty vicious cycle.

As someone who will wind up marrying a hooker, I agree the shortage is mutual.

 

[IQ]

As someone who will wind up marrying a hooker, I agree the shortage is mutual.

It doesn't have to be that way.

If you are truly willing to find and marry a Christian woman - pray and get prepared to be a Christian husband.

 

[BenF]

Well, I spent the past bunch of months looking into getting married, and met a bunch of girls, and now am starting to think that perhaps there are 0 unmarried Christian girls in the world.

Like everybody is just nominally Christian after you get to know them a bit...and sin is something they won't forsake...even when you point out what the Bible says. It's actually really depressing. I am starting to think it is likely that there are 0 unmarried Christian girls in the world in my generation...that church is just a social club / activity for them.... and if there are no Christian girls in the world, that means I can't get married even if I wanted to or should.

It's very, very, very depressing to find this as the state of Christian women in my generation...like it seems likely there is not even one unmarried Christian girl in the world...let alone one who would be helpful in serving Christ. I wish the world seemed or were otherwise.

 

[persecuted]

As someone who will wind up marrying a hooker, I agree the shortage is mutual.

Do you have any serious belief at all in what I'm describing? My outlook on how things end up is actually based on some long time observations and thoughts on this.

From what I see there are good christian girls, but when they are in environments with christian guys, there are lots of mother hens around making sure nothing happens. But then these same girls go off places that every other girl goes and since the mother hens aren't around in the much worse places, the girls get snapped up by non-christian guys. Game over.

The christian guys then spend years in isolation as there really is nothing for their values and then as they age and finally decide to ease up on their values, they tend to just let it all go and instead of going for the moderately sinful girls the christian guys decide they may as well just go for whatever has the hottest most stacked body and just forgive and forget what ever she may have been about previously anyhow. And these wild women are eager to finally have something more stable so the match ups aren't as bad as one would think.

But in the meantime those good christian girls get dumped just like I previously described and end up as single moms at the churches wondering why there are no good men available... and they continue the cycle acting as mother hens in the church to keep the good christian girls protected...(and have a secret agenda for "protecting" these girls while trying to make plays themselves for the younger single men that won't have them because they are single moms). Which is why the mother hens don't really seem to care what happens when the good chirstian girls are out of sight and getting preggers out of wedlock.

 

[BenF]

the good chirstian girls are out of sight and getting preggers out of wedlock.

Those don't sound like Christian girls in the first place:

"No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God. 10 This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not God’s child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother and sister." - 1 John 3:9-10

 

[thimsrebma]

Well, I spent the past bunch of months looking into getting married, and met a bunch of girls, and now am starting to think that perhaps there are 0 unmarried Christian girls in the world.

Like everybody is just nominally Christian after you get to know them a bit...and sin is something they won't forsake...even when you point out what the Bible says. It's actually really depressing. I am starting to think it is likely that there are 0 unmarried Christian girls in the world in my generation...that church is just a social club / activity for them.... and if there are no Christian girls in the world, that means I can't get married even if I wanted to or should.

It's very, very, very depressing to find this as the state of Christian women in my generation...like it seems likely there is not even one unmarried Christian girl in the world...let alone one who would be helpful in serving Christ. I wish the world seemed or were otherwise.

I think its very interesting that we Christian women say the same thing about meeting Christian men. Where are they? Not too many in church. It seems that the few that are there are socially ackward and scared to talk to women.

I think thats maybe why so many Christian women settle for non Christian guys and hope they change. You have the desire to be a wife and mother but with s few Christian men to choose from what do you do? Many give up.

I hope you don't do the same. I know so many awsome women of God that are waiting to be found.

 

[Brandon777]

what are you talking about??
seems that youve listed out qualifications for both sides of an argument...
Seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened!! satisfaction is a mentality away in any circumstance, and wouldnt inner peace, anywhere at all, be fulfilling in and of itself?? what could you really give? Marriage is a union of heaven to draw closer together toward endless Love and Compassion in our Lord Jesus Christ.... Monasticism is never advisable as a freelance endeavor because it can become a tool that ego can use to destroy our faith. the will to obey is the key feature of monasticism, which is probably why ill never pursue it myself.. but aside from my point.. i mean honestly you seem like a good catch for a young woman, but this is a society that perverts love and relationships with all kinds of things, diluting love in a sea of twisted conception, Love is always made perfect in inperfection, and this is not an age that follows that view, hence the MR RITE terminology, God provides all. do not worry about what you will eat or wear or where you will sleep, seek first the kingdom, and all will be awarded to you

Monasticism is not necessarily going to destroy your faith, if anything it can strengthen it. You could be one that is made to be without a wife. Consider these verses where Jesus gives us HIS opinion: Matthew 19 His disciples said to him, “If this is the case of the man with his wife, it is not expedient to marry.” But he said to them, “Not all men can receive this saying, but those to whom it is given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven’s sake. He who is able to receive it, let him receive it.”

It seems like you think God is relying on you to make alot of money and feed all these starving children.

God doesn't need you to do anything. He's keeping you alive right now so what makes you think that you are the only person who is going to stop other people from dying.

If God wants the children to live and/or be saved, they will, regardless of what you choose to do. Their lives are not in your hands and I'm sure that God knows of more than one way to skin a cat.

I've heard this, but there is something more to what He is saying. Although there is wisdom in knowing that it is not up to us to save the world (because it's Gods world not ours) it should be said, you can still do a ton of good that way. God does God deeds through His people. It is up to His people to do the good deeds for the most part. While there may be other people to do save the children, it is a true and noble aspiration to take up the responsibility for yourself because of a much greater reward you store in heaven for it. In psychology there is a term called altruism and it is rare among people. Altruism- the quality of unselfish concern for the welfare of others. It is very good to have and there are NOT hoards of people just jumping ready to take your place. With those kind of assets you have a great opportunity that 98% of the rest of the world doesn't have. Don't blow that off so quickly. You're doing the right thing seeking out the truth. Keep doing that.

Deciding if you should/want to marry is up to a careful meditation and prayer on Matthew 19:10-12 (the one I already gave). That's the answer right there. Live by Scripture right? Well that's the Scripture. There are also hundreds of places where giving is taught in the Bible.

May Jesus Bless you.