Judgemental Christians

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Jun 18, 2020
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I’ve been a Christian now for about 7 years, and I’m finally encountering what I will call the wall of judgement from my Christian friends. It is not only in the area of dating, although this seems to be the topic that they care about the the most, but also in other areas like how often I read my Bible, or if I am serving others enough, or if I endure trials with joy because that is godly.

But I will focus on the area of dating. It is disheartening to me, and I don’t feel like I can date unless it is according to their standards. To clarify, we all agree on the Biblical stance regarding fornication. I’m referring to all the additional expectations they have.

For example:
-Online dating isn’t good.
-Don’t spend too much time taking to the other person because that means they are becoming your god.
-They aren’t good enough because they aren’t a “strong” Christian.
-Wait a certain amount of time between dating people.

My main question is this-how do you all deal with the way other Christians pressurize the dating environment?
I truly believe that you should do what feels right for you and what brings you the relationship that you are searching as long as you have God in my and heart then. Their judgement is to be taken with discernment as you like we all have your very own relationship with God as And shall know his judgement if any to be known
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
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@BenFTW

Is that you on youtube?
If so, thumbs up for you my friend.
Haha, thanks and yeah that’s me. Today I decided to record some vocals for the song because at first I was just winging it and making up some lyrics for the post and after I was like, “That actually sounds pretty good.” Lol

I wanted to see how it sounded vocally and what the melody would be.
 
May 25, 2015
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Jun 27, 2020
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One thing I've noticed is that so many Christians who have so much to say on singleness among Christians and dating are ones who can't stand to be without a mate for one week. They keep a mate, even if they have to sin. So, these are people who definitely should shut up on the subject. Advice: Be very careful with choosing to taken the advice of others'. Consider their life. Are they in your shoes? Have they ever been in your shoes. Do they have your best interest at heart?
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
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One thing I've noticed is that so many Christians who have so much to say on singleness among Christians and dating are ones who can't stand to be without a mate for one week. They keep a mate, even if they have to sin. So, these are people who definitely should shut up on the subject. Advice: Be very careful with choosing to taken the advice of others'. Consider their life. Are they in your shoes? Have they ever been in your shoes. Do they have your best interest at heart?
...what was the title of the OP again?🤔
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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haha nobodys been in my shoes cos I dont let anyone else wear them. Do you want my toe jams? . I dont want yours.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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although...I have seen children take their shoes off in the library, like a whole class, and Im pretty sure some end up wearing someone elses shoes since they are all black and could be the same size and make.

Im not too sure many would notice though....
 
Mar 25, 2020
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I know there's been a lot of posts since the first one. But I'm going to go with the first question. We're not prefect. If anyone thinks otherwise I won't be joining hands with them. If someone thinks they're better than me, I just don't care. Maybe they are. Maybe they aren't. But when it comes to loving someone, as a Christian you must compromise if you're going to stay. Love is gentle. It is everything the world isn't. No standards can substitute love. Christian love is very different from other love. That's why we pray. That's why we wait patiently. Don't take the other person for granted. But that's life. Prayer and faith in God will lead us to the right person I guess. By the way, I'm in no position to talk about relationships because I'm not very good at it. Was never good at it. Never had a lasting one or if I did, it wasn't meant to be and when that happens it's hard. It does hit us hard. It's a matter of the heart. I just think that God knows better. We give up and we lose so much along the way. Or at least we think we do. But in God's eyes we're always winners. God doesn't say anything negative when it doesn't happen like we thought it should because Jesus knows that's not the best for us So we wait and we pray. And I personally feel that one should keep an open heart to be loved. We must also have a genuine love for ourselves. Only then can we love others and expect the same from them. If you are considering someone for a partner. Don't judge. But always be aware of how he or she treats you. That's advice from someone who's not very good at this. So, take it or leave it. God bless. All the best :)
 
Sep 13, 2018
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One thing I've noticed is that so many Christians who have so much to say on singleness among Christians and dating are ones who can't stand to be without a mate for one week. They keep a mate, even if they have to sin. So, these are people who definitely should shut up on the subject. Advice: Be very careful with choosing to taken the advice of others'. Consider their life. Are they in your shoes? Have they ever been in your shoes. Do they have your best interest at heart?
I think that I take the opposite approach. When I take advice from other's, I listen to people that I respect and want the life that they are living.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
7,687
2,774
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new show coming up

Christian Judgearama

this is the show where people get to judge all they like. The contestants all enter to walk on a stage and a panel of 12 random people start judging after 60 seconds of seeing them. The contestants are not allowed to say anything to defend themselves. They are just going to be judged.
 

AndyMaleh

Active member
Jun 26, 2020
481
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I’ve been a Christian now for about 7 years, and I’m finally encountering what I will call the wall of judgement from my Christian friends. It is not only in the area of dating, although this seems to be the topic that they care about the the most, but also in other areas like how often I read my Bible, or if I am serving others enough, or if I endure trials with joy because that is godly.

But I will focus on the area of dating. It is disheartening to me, and I don’t feel like I can date unless it is according to their standards. To clarify, we all agree on the Biblical stance regarding fornication. I’m referring to all the additional expectations they have.

For example:
-Online dating isn’t good.
-Don’t spend too much time taking to the other person because that means they are becoming your god.
-They aren’t good enough because they aren’t a “strong” Christian.
-Wait a certain amount of time between dating people.

My main question is this-how do you all deal with the way other Christians pressurize the dating environment?
"-Don’t spend too much time taking to the other person because that means they are becoming your god."

This one sounded surprising to me because if they know you believe in the real God, why would they worry you are thinking of man as God? They are obviously very different. God is all powerful and omnipotent. Man is meek and humble if he's a Christian. It sounds like they're the ones who see some men as gods, God forbid that polytheistic thinking.

"-They aren’t good enough because they aren’t a “strong” Christian."

No matter how strong a man is, in the end, it's not his strength that keeps a relationship. It's his faith in God's strength instead.