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JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#21
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#21
Seoulsearch - My sweet sister I do so understand how you feel in more ways than one. I was an orphan by the age of 12 and not having a steady household to grow up in and always feeling on the outside looking in to home life of others. I cried many nights into my pillow and only God knows all about this and I have over the years shared this with a few trusted people. I know heartache and loneliness and pain and the want to smack somebody when they are happy and I was not. It hurts it really does - I really understand.

I was divorced in 1979 and have not been married all that time which amounts to 35 years and I noticed that you are 40 - my sister - I have waited most of your lifetime alone. Admittedly I did make my share of mistakes with relationships in that time but for 20 years of that time mostly and totally alone.

I hated Valentines Day and wanted to smash every flower vase full of roses I came across. Why were they in love and not me? How dare they be in love??? I hated them all!!!!! Not to the point of hanging myself although during that 35 year period I did attempt suicide once. Not so much because of love relationships I just was severely depressed and overwhelmed with life in general.

I apologize that we have caused you distress in this area but believe me I know where you are coming from. So please forgive me for being so excited, but God has arranged this meeting with tourist and I can't contain myself. Because of all the praying tourist did we will end up getting married - I didn't know what to ask for and didn't really pray for it.

Please know that there is an open genuine invitation for you at any time to come for a vacation in Florida and stay in our second bedroom that has it's own bath and go to church with us maybe your future mate might be there. We would love to meet you in real life. Go burn the rope God loves you and so do we.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#22
May 23, 2009
16,429
5,374
113
#22
Hi JL,

Thank you for the very sweet and considerate invitation. I appreciate it very much. I have actually gone to many places over the years and people have told me that--the right person may be at that destination waiting for you--but so far, that has not been God's plan.

I understand everything you are saying, as I was an orphan myself once as well, but God gave me a family right away. I have often wondered if this is a bit of a way of "evening things out" in my life... and if God is saying, "I gave you a family right away; now you have to wait", whereas, another person may have had nothing but hardship in life and receive their blessings later.

In the time I've been single I've seen so many friends and younger family members fall in love, get married, agonize over having a baby (and then, in some cases, being blessed with 3--demonstrating a fraction of the time that has gone by) and in the meantime... I filled the long hours by going to prisons and talking to guys who had done things like murder their own family members, asking them if they still believed God had a plan for their life. As I said, I'm very happy that people find each other and fall in love and I understand being totally excited--I just always hope that someone in this position, when so many of us here are not, will consider what that does to the rest of us if not handled with consideration.

Updates and general information are much appreciated, but perhaps more intimate and flirtatious details are best reserved for married and/or very close friends.

I have a friend who is a bit younger than me and several years ago, found a wonderful guy. They are still together after all this time and she regularly texts me pictures of the diamonds, flowers, gifts, and trips he showers her with (as well as accepting her children as his own.) It's not about the material things, but the fact that she is so treasured and loved by him, and he happens to express it in this particular way. I myself would be perfectly happy with just quality time, reading books together, taking walks, etc.

On some level I do feel happy for others who are going through such wonderful times in their lives, of course. But I just wonder, with so many of us following after the Lord with all our might, why it is also so rare.
 
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Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#23
Aug 13, 2014
27,215
9,289
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#23
Someone a few posts ago mentioned PM's. PM's are a great thing.

One of the best things about PM's is if you send someone a PM or if someone sends you a PM about something they have a problem with you about, nobody is obliged to respond. If someone calls you out in the public forum you feel you have to answer the charge against you. In a PM you can say what you feel should be said to the person you feel was in error, and they don't have any pressure to respond in any way. This is a good thing, not a bad thing.
 
JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#24
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#24
Lynx said:
Someone a few posts ago mentioned PM's. PM's are a great thing.

One of the best things about PM's is if you send someone a PM or if someone sends you a PM about something they have a problem with you about, nobody is obliged to respond. If someone calls you out in the public forum you feel you have to answer the charge against you. In a PM you can say what you feel should be said to the person you feel was in error, and they don't have any pressure to respond in any way. This is a good thing, not a bad thing.
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I get what you are saying Lynx but sometimes it's good for these things to be out in open too so that we can see how real Christian people are trying to be like Jesus will respond to each other and I appreciate my sister for voicing her concern. I believe all of us desire to become more and more like Jesus as heaven is the goal we would like to attain and be able to be reconciled with our Father God again. I truly do not want to hurt anyone and desire to show the love that we are to show to God and to our neighbor - brothers/sisters.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#25
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
2,416
113
#25
Ho11y said:
Perhaps you should have taken this to PM.

I seriously can't believe how rude your post was. I don't even think Ugly goes this far.
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Sorry but I have to back Shouryu up on this one. I can understand that tourist and Jesus lives are both happy to know each other, but their level of flirting on the forums has passed the point of being appropriate. It's like emotional exhibitionism and I have to agree private things should be kept private. Add to that this thread which both reinforces the idea that finding a romantic partner should be some sort of ultimate purpose in life and of coming here (specifically against the intent of this site) and makes it sound like they are living together before getting married (regardless of how they are conducting themselves in that situation or why they have pursued that course (which I will be gracious enough to consider may be in an entirely godly manner), what kind of an example does publicizing it set for all of the younger singles on a christian site? as seoulsearch said we should avoid even the appearance of evil) and Shouryu's critique was completely justified. While blunt he was not attacking anyone's character and was civil if extremely sarcastic.

In short while we are happy when others receive blessings from God, the constant bombarding of this forum with their relationship details and flirtation is not edifying nor is it something many of us want in this forum especially in multiple threads. In a lot of ways it does undermine the intent of the forum as Shouryu said. Though Shouryu only talked about the stated intent of this thread while I'm willing to say I've found their behavior off putting enough to stop reading most of tourist's threads.

And now I have probably rivaled both Shour and Ugly for blunt, brutal honesty. So I will add to tourist and JL: you both seem like nice people, but please keep the personal real life stuff in your own personal real lives. Thanks. :)
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#26
Mar 13, 2014
42,556
17,025
113
69
Tennessee
#26
cinder said:
Sorry but I have to back Shouryu up on this one. I can understand that tourist and Jesus lives are both happy to know each other, but their level of flirting on the forums has passed the point of being appropriate. It's like emotional exhibitionism and I have to agree private things should be kept private. Add to that this thread which both reinforces the idea that finding a romantic partner should be some sort of ultimate purpose in life and of coming here (specifically against the intent of this site) and makes it sound like they are living together before getting married (regardless of how they are conducting themselves in that situation or why they have pursued that course (which I will be gracious enough to consider may be in an entirely godly manner), what kind of an example does publicizing it set for all of the younger singles on a christian site? as seoulsearch said we should avoid even the appearance of evil) and Shouryu's critique was completely justified. While blunt he was not attacking anyone's character and was civil if extremely sarcastic.

In short while we are happy when others receive blessings from God, the constant bombarding of this forum with their relationship details and flirtation is not edifying nor is it something many of us want in this forum especially in multiple threads. In a lot of ways it does undermine the intent of the forum as Shouryu said. Though Shouryu only talked about the stated intent of this thread while I'm willing to say I've found their behavior off putting enough to stop reading most of tourist's threads.

And now I have probably rivaled both Shour and Ugly for blunt, brutal honesty. So I will add to tourist and JL: you both seem like nice people, but please keep the personal real life stuff in your own personal real lives. Thanks. :)
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I will take what you have said under consideration. This is an outstanding post and well written.
 
H

Ho11y

Guest
#27
#27
cinder said:
Sorry but I have to back Shouryu up on this one. I can understand that tourist and Jesus lives are both happy to know each other, but their level of flirting on the forums has passed the point of being appropriate. It's like emotional exhibitionism and I have to agree private things should be kept private. Add to that this thread which both reinforces the idea that finding a romantic partner should be some sort of ultimate purpose in life and of coming here (specifically against the intent of this site) and makes it sound like they are living together before getting married (regardless of how they are conducting themselves in that situation or why they have pursued that course (which I will be gracious enough to consider may be in an entirely godly manner), what kind of an example does publicizing it set for all of the younger singles on a christian site? as seoulsearch said we should avoid even the appearance of evil) and Shouryu's critique was completely justified. While blunt he was not attacking anyone's character and was civil if extremely sarcastic.

In short while we are happy when others receive blessings from God, the constant bombarding of this forum with their relationship details and flirtation is not edifying nor is it something many of us want in this forum especially in multiple threads. In a lot of ways it does undermine the intent of the forum as Shouryu said. Though Shouryu only talked about the stated intent of this thread while I'm willing to say I've found their behavior off putting enough to stop reading most of tourist's threads.

And now I have probably rivaled both Shour and Ugly for blunt, brutal honesty. So I will add to tourist and JL: you both seem like nice people, but please keep the personal real life stuff in your own personal real lives. Thanks. :)
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You may agree with him, but it doesn't make what he said less rude and over dramatic.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#28
Aug 13, 2014
27,215
9,289
113
#28
Neither does it make what he said less true.

Neither does what you said make what he said less true.

Neither does what she said about what you said about what he said... I just confused myself. Never mind.
 
H

Ho11y

Guest
#29
#29
Lynx said:
Neither does it make what he said less true.

Neither does what you said make what he said less true.

Neither does what she said about what you said about what he said... I just confused myself. Never mind.
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Neither does you commenting on that make any sense ;)
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#30
#30
Ho11y said:
You may agree with him, but it doesn't make what he said less rude and over dramatic.
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Okay, okay. I think we're all good now. Friendship Is Magic! :p
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#32
Aug 13, 2014
27,215
9,289
113
#32
Friendship is Magic? I think I've heard that line in a commercial somewhere. What's that from?
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#34
#34
Lynx said:
Friendship is Magic? I think I've heard that line in a commercial somewhere. What's that from?
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It was a not-so-subtle reference to Shouryu and "My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic".
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#35
Aug 13, 2014
27,215
9,289
113
#35
Ah, that. He explained his avatar to me in chat when I asked him why his horse had a haystalk in its teeth. :rolleyes:
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#36
#36
That's part of the reasons i don't read the Singles forum much at all anymore. The few couples seem to be overtaking so many threads that i'm just tired of coming here and seeing nothing but the couples filling up threads talking to, or about, each other. Or feeling they need their own thread, on top of being all over the other threads.
If you've found someone, great, doesn't mean i need an update every 15 minutes or to watch your conversations or refer to your partner in every other post. So i just stay away anymore.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#37
#37
Ugly said:
That's part of the reasons i don't read the Singles forum much at all anymore. The few couples seem to be overtaking so many threads that i'm just tired of coming here and seeing nothing but the couples filling up threads talking to, or about, each other. Or feeling they need their own thread, on top of being all over the other threads.
If you've found someone, great, doesn't mean i need an update every 15 minutes or to watch your conversations or refer to your partner in every other post. So i just stay away anymore.
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The only reason I created a thread about us was because I thought some here would be keen to hear what was going on, since we regard many of you as friends. I've given daily updates but I try not to over share. In no way did I want to take over the forums.
 
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A

Angelique

Guest
#38
#38
cinder said:
Sorry but I have to back Shouryu up on this one. I can understand that tourist and Jesus lives are both happy to know each other, but their level of flirting on the forums has passed the point of being appropriate. It's like emotional exhibitionism and I have to agree private things should be kept private. Add to that this thread which both reinforces the idea that finding a romantic partner should be some sort of ultimate purpose in life and of coming here (specifically against the intent of this site) and makes it sound like they are living together before getting married (regardless of how they are conducting themselves in that situation or why they have pursued that course (which I will be gracious enough to consider may be in an entirely godly manner), what kind of an example does publicizing it set for all of the younger singles on a christian site? as seoulsearch said we should avoid even the appearance of evil) and Shouryu's critique was completely justified. While blunt he was not attacking anyone's character and was civil if extremely sarcastic.

In short while we are happy when others receive blessings from God, the constant bombarding of this forum with their relationship details and flirtation is not edifying nor is it something many of us want in this forum especially in multiple threads. In a lot of ways it does undermine the intent of the forum as Shouryu said. Though Shouryu only talked about the stated intent of this thread while I'm willing to say I've found their behavior off putting enough to stop reading most of tourist's threads.

And now I have probably rivaled both Shour and Ugly for blunt, brutal honesty. So I will add to tourist and JL: you both seem like nice people, but please keep the personal real life stuff in your own personal real lives. Thanks. :)
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I totally agree with you both.. I don't know tourist or jl. but I have found at times I have had to block them both. a relationship is private and should be kept between two people with God leading the way. If you need to advertise every second of your life or courtship with someone then I would ask myself why do we feel the need to do so?.

It does sound like they are living together, is that something that reflects a Godly relationship?? its not my place to judge.. but I for one would appreciate that they keep the private details of their courtship to them selves. I wish them all the best and pray that they have a long and happy life together.. but please think of other people who are also partaking in these forums.
 
I

Inu

Guest
#39
#39
:rolleyes:.... uuurrrr is it just me or is this beginning to sound like a thread out of the B.S. Forum?

If that's the case......

Kumbaya.jpg
 
I

Inu

Guest
#40
#40
Guys, I think JesusLives and Tourist get the point that all of you are trying to make... How about we move passed this now?
 
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