ladies, I need a little advice!!

rachelsedge · Oct 17, 2013

As Loveneverfails and MissCriss pointed out, the question is less about what you do or do not do, it's more about who you are and your character.

Asking what you can do to attract more ladies is not the way to go about attracting the right kind of lady, because then you're only doing things to please other people and it becomes sort of a projection of your (general you) insecurities and a false facade. Growing as a person, in who you are, in confidence and character, is much more beneficial to yourself and to others.

Misty77 · Oct 17, 2013

eugenius said:

So far, you have only named things I am looking for in a man.

woka · Oct 17, 2013

The girl meant for you will not be turned off as you put it by anthing. The Lord has prepared her heart just for you. It is when we seek but we do not find, that we begin to wonder, but I feel that I need to give you the verse, "Seek first the kingdom and all else will be added onto you". I hardly ever quote scripture to people lol, so maybe there is something there for you.

You see take some advice from this 44 year old lady. When a guy is focused on the Lord he is appealing, when he is looking for direction from the Lord he is appealing, when he is on his knees is prayer, wow appealing. ...........just thought I would give you the inside scooooopppppp.

Be Blessed

Misty77 · Oct 17, 2013

jrccomputer said:

I will share with you what I tell everyone at your age: Go to college!

Even if you have a plan that doesn't require a degree, not having one automatically limits your options. And it's a lot easier to get it NOW than when you have a wife and three kids, and your original career path becomes obsolete due to the next great invention. Don't bother pointing out Steve Jobs and others like him because they are the exception. Just google average salaries at various degree levels to prove that college graduates make more money on average. Sometimes just having that degree opens doors, even in ministries. You can always find a career path not tied to your degree, but you can't just make one appear when you need it.

With few exceptions, I would not date someone without a college degree. I dropped out because I married someone with 2 degrees and a 6 figure job. I though there was no reason for me to get one. He divorced me 10 years later, leaving me without savings, a house, or a career with 5 figure debt. Trying to start a career from scratch while raising a child is insanely hard. Not having a degree makes it harder. I've been trying to go to college, too; but that eats up my already limited time and money. Plus, I've forgotten so much since high school.

Of course, pray about it; but the prudent decision is college.

jrccomputer · Oct 17, 2013

Wow...some of theae comments are quite hurtful. How do you know me?? Have you ever met me?? Treating me like I'm some man #oror!!! Im not posting "how can I have sex with more women" I was simply asking the question "do woman find men without degree less attractive"

And what do I get for it. Jesus would be ashamed of the way you treat me. How do you guys know the person I am??

You treat me like some loser, who is after random women. I very hurt by this. Asking a simple question. I get ripped to pieces like you are all a pack of wolves.

Oncefallen · Oct 17, 2013

jrccomputer said:

Although I'm not female, I gotta chime in. In my humble opinion a woman who would reject a man just because he doesn't have a college degree isn't worth your time. Choosing to go to college should be a personal decision based on career path and desire/interest not based on making yourself more marketable to the opposite sex. A four year degree is a huge investment of time and long term debt for student loans that many people don't see a large enough increase of income to offset the cost over the long term. If a degree would help your upward mobility over the long term perhaps taking night classes (since you're already employed) would achieve that without the debt (pay as you go).

IMO a man's value is in who he is, not how much he can earn. A wise woman would rather be with a man who doesn't earn a lot but loves what he does rather than a man who is a top earner that comes home miserable because he despises his job.

MissCris · Oct 17, 2013

jrccomputer said:

A couple of things about this...

1. Your thread got a bit derailed here; you're right, we got off-track from your original question. I don't think anyone was saying they thought you were trying to sleep with a bunch of women, I just think things got taken a bit different direction than what you intended.

2. I'm sorry you've been hurt here, I'm sure that nobody meant to do that.

jrccomputer · Oct 17, 2013

MissCris said:

Thank you!! There were a lot of good comments. I'm just a more sensitive guy!!

rachelsedge · Oct 17, 2013

The issue is that it's hard to ask "Does this or that make me more attractive to the opposite sex?" because there is no definite answer. There are some who prefer certain things, some who prefer other things, and some who don't care. It's hard for us to answer because there IS no answer. I can't answer for all women because what I say may differ from the preference of another woman. I think that's why it went a different direction, that it's less about what you do and more about who you are.

jrccomputer · Oct 17, 2013

rachelsedge said:

The issue is that it's hard to ask "Does this or that make me more attractive to the opposite sex?" because there is no definite answer. There are some who prefer certain things, some who prefer other things, and some who don't care. It's hard for us to answer because there IS no answer. I can't answer for all women because what I say may differ from the preference of another woman. I think that's why it went a different direction, that it's less about what you do and more about who you are.

Thank you so much Rachael you have no idea what your post mean to me!!!

kenthomas27 · Oct 17, 2013

jrccomputer said:

I don't believe anyone is taking you out of context here Jrccomputer!

on another note .....you know, there, like man-o to man-o, that is......umm...lookin at my avatar there, do you think my new outfit makes me look fat?

isaria · Oct 17, 2013

All jobs are of worth and computer programming is a respectable work and if you are paid well as you say you could study part-time.

A highly educated woman might feel she can not talk with you about some topics and in a way she might be able to communicate with others who have such education what you mean?

She may have other qualities she seeks in a man than that he knows everything she knows or is educated A plus in all subjects expert.

Maybe she falls in love that you are funny, clever, kind and golly so good with computers , fix her laptop, download itunes for her

, maybe she likes your smile and even your frown.
There is so many reasons why one chooses partner.

A woman once told me one chooses some one their real true colours and who and all they are and that goes deeper.
But what if your colours are stolen?
What if you "born again same partner" and different but same.
I think it would be shallow to be obsessed about such a thing but we are all different how we choose partner.
One person looked stupid and sounded so also but a man pursued and found the "dumbo" was educated and even pretty clever and not stupid.
Look at some politicians and professionals who sound very stupid some times but may not be and even educated politicians get lost for words while interviewed. What is the reason?

No, the real lady for you should have no problem with who you are and what work you have or and education level.

Best wishes for you.
God bless.

Oncefallen · Oct 17, 2013

Amazingly enough "highly educated" does not necessarily equate out to high intelligence or vice versa. My grandfather never completed high school (common in the early 1900's) yet he could do long algebra equations in his head. I've had some younger college graduates attempt to talk down to me because obviously I must be an idiot and I've sent them away looking foolish when they realized how much this "uneducated" old man knows.

Actually it amazes me how little some college graduates know about this nation's history, our constitution, what our founding father's envisioned, etc.

jrccomputer · Oct 17, 2013

Oncefallen said:

Amazingly enough "highly educated" does not necessarily equate out to high intelligence or vice versa. My grandfather never completed high school (common in the early 1900's) yet he could do long algebra equations in his head. I've had some younger college graduates attempt to talk down to me because obviously I must be an idiot and I've sent them away looking foolish when they realized how much this "uneducated" old man knows.

Actually it amazes me how little some college graduates know about this nation's history, our constitution, what our founding father's envisioned, etc.

↑I've had similar experiences.↑

ServantStrike · Oct 18, 2013

jrccomputer said:

I'm sorry you feel hurt but I haven't seen any posts here that indicate people dOing anything hurtful. They simply said doung much if anYthing to attract women will attract the wrong ones. They are right. I know because I've been there

Perhaps this is a good learning experience. If this thread hurt, your first argument wIth a girlfriend will be torture.

You are worrying too much though man. Way too Much.

xXErraticEmilyXx · Oct 18, 2013

I would marry Frodo.
Frodo did not go to college.

zeroturbulence · Oct 18, 2013

jrccomputer said:

Trust me brother, a woman who rejects you because you don't have a college education is a woman you most likely wouldn't want to be in a relationship with.

zeroturbulence · Oct 18, 2013

xXErraticEmilyXx said:

Would you still marry him if he looked like this?

Jullianna · Oct 18, 2013

Oncefallen said:

MOST of the men I have worked with on a regular basis over the past few years have advanced degrees (mostly doctorates) and take home huge paychecks. They know a great deal about their field of study, of course, but know very little about a lot of other things and lack wisdom. It has been a surprising observation.

P.S. - jrccomputer, please don't take what happens in a thread you create personally. Many times people respond to what they thought you said and have not read your OP very well, or they have a particular thought or sensitivity of their own re: the topic and run with it. It's seldom personal.

fourleaf · Oct 18, 2013

jrccomputer said:

In my opinion, no it's not a turn off if a guy is not a college graduate or college level. As long as he's not a player or cheater (lol bitter?). It's not also in the appearance, and how much money he earned. A real man for me is humble, patient, has self control and most of all pure, obedient, gentle and has an intense relationship with God. If he caters that attitude He is much more than an educated man.

ladies, I need a little advice!!

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