Let's Talk About Long-Distance Relationships...

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vicks5721

Guest
#41
#41
I am in a long distance relationship and soon we are closing the distance when I will move from England to America, from my experience you don't need to see each other often to maintain the relationship, we fell madly deeply in love just from talking everyday on skype and whatsapp messenger and we send each other love letters every now and then. I know we are soul mates and God brought us together in his perfect time and all the years of being alone before I met my Fiance were worth it. We are closing the distance after a shorter amount of time that most Long distance relationships as we know we want to be together and we thought why wait if we don't have to, it was decided from the start I would be the one to relocate to America and we know it the best decision for us financially and just makes the most sense. We agree though if we hadn't been able to close the distance so soon we would wait however long it takes to be together, that is what true love is all about. Soon I will be there, not long left now, we are finishing the K1 visa process.
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#42
Apr 1, 2014
6,194
1,321
113
33
Arizona
#42
I am considering one strongly right now. But for some reason I am reluctant to call it official boyfriend/girlfriend label. Perhaps because they haven't worked so well in the past for me? Hm.
 
JonahLynx

JonahLynx

Senior Member
#43
Dec 28, 2014
1,017
30
48
#43
I wouldn't even consider a relationship outside of my state unless I felt that God was specifically calling me to it. I'm not saying LDRs are impossible, because they happen all the time, but communicating only through the phone/computer would not feel genuine to me personally.
 
K

Kaycie

Guest
#44
#44
To me long distance is when it is too long to just stop by whenever. My son had to be on a bus for five hours in order to see his gf at one point, they are still together and have a child. I could do a long distance relationship if I was in love.
 
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Moose_Almighty

Guest
#45
#45
vicks5721 said:
I am in a long distance relationship and soon we are closing the distance when I will move from England to America, from my experience you don't need to see each other often to maintain the relationship, we fell madly deeply in love just from talking everyday on skype and whatsapp messenger and we send each other love letters every now and then. I know we are soul mates and God brought us together in his perfect time and all the years of being alone before I met my Fiance were worth it. We are closing the distance after a shorter amount of time that most Long distance relationships as we know we want to be together and we thought why wait if we don't have to, it was decided from the start I would be the one to relocate to America and we know it the best decision for us financially and just makes the most sense. We agree though if we hadn't been able to close the distance so soon we would wait however long it takes to be together, that is what true love is all about. Soon I will be there, not long left now, we are finishing the K1 visa process.
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I enjoyed reading your post, it gave me the biggest warm smile. The way I see it, distance relationships are what you both make it. If you're both on the same page with your love for one another, everything will be alright. With all of my heart, I'm happy for both of you and I wish you both the best!!! :)
God Bless!
 
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Moose_Almighty

Guest
#46
#46
seoulsearch said:
Hi Singles,

We usually have several discussions about this in the threads every year, but I'm bringing it up again because it's already been mildly debated in some of the other threads without a chance for discussion.

Here are some things I'm hoping we can talk about:

1. What, to you, constitutes "long-distance" anyway? For some, it's 30 minutes; for others, halfway around the world isn't a problem. I once had a "long-distance relationship" 90 minutes away, but he didn't have a car or even a license so if we were to spend any time together, I had to go to him. I also once met a guy on a dating site and although we had a great phone conversation, he didn't want to meet because I was an hour away.


2. How many times a week/month/year do you feel you'd need to see someone in order to keep up the relationship? I used to be very open to LDR's but am a bit more guarded now, because relationships take work and if we are never going to see each other, I'd rather just stay friends. I was talking to a great guy in another country a few years ago and he asked about trying to date, but we realized we'd only see each other 1-2 times a year and for me, that was too far apart.

3. I realize this is a subject that is going to have different answers that work for everyone. How important are things money and transportation when considering an LDR? For instance, do you believe there needs to be a way of seeing each other, paying for calls and visits, or are you all right just keeping a relationship through less expensive means, such as internet chatting and Skype? As for me, I feel I would need to be able to see the person on a regular basis.

4. What if one person has no way of contributing towards the costs and the other one will take on the brunt of the expenses? Once again, different things work for different people. Because I usually wound up paying for most everything in past relationships, I am hoping to meet someone who would be willing to make things a little more equal.

If I met someone online, I admit to liking a little chivalry. I would hope he would offer to meet me first (my days of going to meeting a guy first on his territory are over) because he is looking out for my safety and comfort level. This is just my own personal opinion but as a woman, I feel a little more vulnerable. However, I would surely chip in to pay half the cost.

How about the rest of you? Thoughts, opinions, experiences?

All are welcome.
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1: That's a tough one... I was living and working in D.C. while my ex was finishing up her senior year of high school in Pennsylvania when we started dating. Minus D.C./Baltimore rush hour traffic, it wasn't a bad drive to make it up there during the weekends or holidays, only a 2 hour 45 minute drive on average. At the time I guess that would be considered long distance but then she started going to Cornell University and that drive was 5 and a half hours on average. I guess it depends on the person but to me I would consider anything more than a 2 hour drive to be long distance due to the logistics of travel.

2: When she lived in Pennsylvania and I was in D.C., I went up to visit almost every weekend. When she lived in Ithaca I would visit 2-3 times a month. I then moved to South Korea for a year and I saw her for two weeks when I came home for Christmas and New Years. Following South Korea I moved to middle Georgia and accomplished two drives up to Ithaca which was about 17 hours one way if I remember correctly. She moved back to Pennsylvania and I did two more drives to visit her at grad school. It really just depends how far you both are and how much money you're willing to spend. After we broke up, being single saved me $17,000 that first year apart so not saying it's financially easy to be in a distance relationship, especially if you're the one financing it haha.

3: I guess that's what eventually put some weight on our relationship. I did all of the traveling, she did none. I had to practically beg her to visit. One time... Just one time... She took the train from Philly 30th street station to Savannah Georgia and spent a week with me. But she had a bad attitude the whole visit and was very cranky from the train ride so it really wasn't that enjoyable.

4: If you're the only one contributing financially, i'm going to let you know now that it's going to drive you INSANE!!! As a person you can only take so much b/s from someone... Traveling; I only use my GPS for road trips and with the five years we were dating I put around 11,000 miles of driving distance going back and forth to see her. Consider the gas money on that one... as well as food, vehicle maintenance, hotels, dinners, dates, etc... I did the best I could to make it work and whatever bothered me I just took it in hopes things will get better in the future. But with a snap of the fingers she got what she wanted from me and found another interest in someone else and that was that.

So between you and I, to make a distance relationship work for long term, you must have relationship equality or near close to it. Not saying distance relationships are impossible, if you both are putting the equal effort into the relationship then I don't see why it wouldn't work. In the end, it's really what you both make it.

Hope all works out the way that you vision it to. I'll be praying for you! :)

God Bless!
-Moose_Almighty-
 
wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#47
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#47
never had a long distance relationship.. never had a short distance one ether.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#48
Aug 13, 2014
26,701
8,936
113
#48
I bet soon wisebeardman will meet a cute girl who will sweep him off his feet... then he'll disappear from the forum for two weeks... and when he comes back nobody will know him because he won't be cranky any more.

(No money behind this bet, because I don't gamble. But mark my words, it'll happen. And when he returns his posts will be unrecognizable - we will think someone else hacked his account and posted under his name.)
 
wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#49
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#49
Lynx said:
I bet soon wisebeardman will meet a cute girl who will sweep him off his feet... then he'll disappear from the forum for two weeks... and when he comes back nobody will know him because he won't be cranky any more.

(No money behind this bet, because I don't gamble. But mark my words, it'll happen. And when he returns his posts will be unrecognizable - we will think someone else hacked his account and posted under his name.)
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and for only 19.95 you can buy the Golden Gate bridge. and if you call right now you can have the Brooklyn bridge for just an extra 9.95
 
Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#50
Mar 19, 2011
12,500
1,078
113
#50
Its easy to develop emotional attachments to people online when you talk to them everyday. I have been crushing on a lady in Nairobi for years even tho the odds of us meeting are slim to none.
 
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lidochka

Guest
#51
#51
Oh my dear you don't know what does it mean long distance relationship. My boyfriend lives in US but I live there he cam Com to me in 36 hours on way by plane. So 30 or 90 minutes it is for children talk. We have to be patience and God provide us from thus distance. Just trust in God.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#52
#52
lidochka said:
Oh my dear you don't know what does it mean long distance relationship. My boyfriend lives in US but I live there he cam Com to me in 36 hours on way by plane. So 30 or 90 minutes it is for children talk. We have to be patience and God provide us from thus distance. Just trust in God.
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Long distance can be whatever the individual decides. I know of no set rule stating that a long distance relationship has to be X many miles away. If someone thinks 90 minutes constitutes long distance, then that is their choice.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#54
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#54
If we lied and cheated on next door...



What sort of an long-term engagement/commitment could be shorter than the divided distance of relationships not living together, but away?

 
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lidochka

Guest
#56
#56
live4faith said:
Well, I suppose its no longer a secret, but I have a crush on a guy who lives 1,500 miles away. I don't know how realistic it is to have a long distance relationship, but I'd sure be willing to give it a try. I know with technology today, it's easier anyway. But I don't know from experience. I've never had a long distance relationship.
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If it is God's plan eberything will be possible. Just trus to God.
 
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