Love Advice with Dr. Des

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Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,424
622
113
#41
Before you go looking for the perfect man, you have to decide what kind of woman you are.

If you're a snow angel, go for choice #2. Never date outside the faith.

Dear Dr. Des,

I've been holding out for the perfect man for a while now. But fate has a twisted sense of humor and now I don't know which to choose. Please help.

View attachment 224649
View attachment 224650
 
May 25, 2015
5,938
595
113
#43
Dr. Des - I need to come up with a WiFi name for my Internet. What should I call it?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
17,267
4,311
113
#46
Can we give advice, or is it only for Dr. Des to advise people?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
17,267
4,311
113
#47
Dr. Des - I need to come up with a WiFi name for my Internet. What should I call it?
Make sure it is password protected. Then choose a name that will send a definite message to anybody who might be looking for a free internet access point in the neighborhood:

GitYoOwnWifi
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
12,882
3,135
113
#50
Dear Dr. Des,

I'm seeing this guy, and found out he has another woman in his life.

His Momma.

She took our bag of Cheetos away and told us not to leave any orange dust on her couch. :cry:

Should I heed his Momma's rules

Or change up my snack repertoire and keep trying?
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
3,667
1,758
113
#52
Is it made from televangelists???!! o_O
No but it does go to one of those snake churches where they practice going into a pit full of televangelists to prove that no harm will be allowed to come to them from the televangelists.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
17,267
4,311
113
#53
Dear Dr. Des,

I'm seeing this guy, and found out he has another woman in his life.

His Momma.

She took our bag of Cheetos away and told us not to leave any orange dust on her couch. :cry:

Should I heed his Momma's rules

Or change up my snack repertoire and keep trying?
You should go out on the back porch steps to... um... eat cheetos.

His momma told you not to leave orange dust on her couch. You're just doing what she said.


I'm reminded of a Foxtrot comic though. Father and teen son are sitting watching a football game and eating snacks. Their team scores a touchdown and they both jump up with their hands high...
SON: Um, do you think mom will notice cheesy prints on the ceiling?
DAD: Why do you think I switched to pretzels?
 
Jan 16, 2021
39
12
8
#57
Dear Dr. Des,

I'm not looking for a girl, but rather, a certain gentleman (who owes me $50 bucks.)

Normally, I wouldn't go through all the trouble, but it's that time of the year, and unfortunately, my mustache isn't just going to wax itself (besides, what woman WOULDN'T choose to have her mustache waxed by a professional when given the choice!)

I believe I've found the seeing stone (who knew it would be at the bottom of my roommate's fish tank), but have found that it's actually guarded by a Wampa (the Star Wars version of the abominable snowman) instead of an evil wizard.

What should I do?

(Please don't go all Rise of Skywalker on me and tell me I need to find an endless chain of other McGuffins, such as a lightsaber to kill the Wamba, in order to find the first McGuffin - the seeing stone - that you're already telling us to look for.) I'm not diving into my roommate's fish tank more than once.

Besides, I can only fit so many useless plot devices into one story (which is why I've never gotten a job as a Hollywood writer.) :LOL:

Sincerely,

You Told Me It Would Be a Wizard!!!

And, It's. Not. a. Wizard.
So you live with this Wampa. Just turn the heat on above -27 degrees, and he’ll leave. Advice not free, that’ll be $73.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,424
622
113
#60
Yeah, I'll have to start charging to make sure people know they get quality but undercut him just enough to where I make a comparable case-by-case profit.

Y'all can Venmo me $71 per piece of advice. Good-looking girls get $10 off.

Anybody can use the code DESROX at checkout for an additional 15% off.

Yeah, but you ant seen nuthin until you seen this new Dr. Eph guy. He gonna give Dr. Desperado a real run for the money!:cool: