Questions for the females:
- Do you wear makeup? Why or why not? If you don't, do you wear it for special occasions or not at all?
Not currently. I've been looking for a tinted moisturizer that helps even things out that doesn't look fake and/or doesn't cost SIXTY FLIPPIN' BUCKS.
- Do you feel comfortable going out in public without makeup? Why or why not?
I cheat and generally go with a slight five o-clock shadow instead of clean shaven to hide the discolouration that I want the tinted moisturizer to take care of. But I'm always self conscious of it. I'm also prone to circles under the eyes since I don't often sleep well, and I admit, I'd like the tint for that, too.
(Yes, I know I'm answering the women's questions. I'm doing so to prove a point. And no, I'm not lying about any of this stuff. Just...go with me here, okay?)
- What do you think is "too much" makeup?
When it looks completely fake. But since I haven't found one I like yet, I haven't been there.
- How do you feel when you get "done up"?
A little more confident, truthfully. When I get tarted up, I actually feel a little more powerful.
I'm going to take this a step further.
While it is true that I spend time in the gym because of a family history of obesity and heart attacks, the bonus is that I feel like I look better when I've been consistent in my fitness regimen.
While it is true that I typically wear a tailored, long-sleeved dress shirt, tie, and sometimes cufflinks, to work most days because I want to look professional (while most of my male colleagues just wear a polo or a dress shirt with no tie), the bonus is that feel like I look better when I dress a little sharper than required.
So I very much
do care about the way I look, just as women stereotypically do. Hang on to that, we're going to revisit it.
Questions for the males:
- What do you consider "done up"? What is too much, what is just enough (what would you find "acceptable")?
I'm now going to shift completely to the perspective of heterosexual male discussing makeup for women, rather than that of a hetero male and himself. ^_^ Just to avoid any confusion. I am also going to be 100% genuine and honest here. I am not going to pander, nor am I going to apologize if you don't like some of the OPINIONS that I hold. Capice?
Getting tarted up is variable. How much and not enough are relative to the situation. In general, I think a standard make-up job starts with evening out skin tone (if it's needed). Remember, I myself am self-conscious about the flaws in my complexion, just as many women are, and while some of us have been blessed with naturally perfect skin...many of us have not. So, for ANYTIME one does makeup, that's where one starts.
It's also where "too much" often begins. When the tone evener or foundation is just caked on SO thick...or you can clearly see a line (because of the colour differential between where the foundation ends and non-made-up skin begins), yeah, that's too much.
But as I said, it's all relative. If you're just gonna go shopping or visit people casually, then less is more: even out the complexion lightly, and if it washes out some of your natural colour, add a touch of blush to the cheekbones. And THAT is in reality, I think, what most men think of when they say, "I prefer the natural look." I think there are a lot of very gently made-up women whom we assume are going natural, but in reality, they've done about sixty seconds of work. Having lived with a woman for six years, who often "went natural," I can attest that the "no make-up" look still often involves a little make up. A perfect example, in my opinion: Pipp's current avatar. I
know she's wearing makeup, but to me, she doesn't look made up. Does that make sense?
Are you going someplace formal? Is it a special occasion? Do you want to get extra tarted up? Add some colour to your eyes, do your lashes. Maybe some lip colour. With the right clothes, the smoky eye is very appropriate when not overdone. Accentuate and highlight what you have, rather than burying it.
How much is too much? Like the oft-definition of pornography: "It's hard to define, but I know it when I see it." If you look like Tammy Faye Bakker, I think that's definitely too much. If my attention is drawn to your make up, rather than to just you, then it's too much.
- When you see a girl with "too much" makeup on, what are your first thoughts? If she is not wearing any at all, what are your first thoughts?
Too much - "You're wearing way too much make up."
None at all - No particular thoughts.
(Keep in mind, I see women both made up and completely natural at the gym. So oftimes, if they're sans make-up, they're all sweaty. Which, since I am too, doesn't bother me. The other time I used to commonly see a woman sans make up? Waking up in the morning, or when she was done with her shower. And no judgement there. It was never a case of, "Woman, get your face on NOW!" She was beautiful to me in all manner of tarted-up-ness.)
- What occassions are "okay" to be done up for?
Yes.
(As I said with the first question - there are levels of being tarted up, and they get matched to the level of the occasion.)
For both:
- What do you think society/culture says about women and the expectation of makeup?
Society treats women as objects of desire, and makeup is very much a part of that. But, men are not exempt from this, either. Men are also objectified, and there is a "quintessential" look for a handsome man in western society. Male actors and models also wear makeup, but because their makeup doesn't add distinct colour to the eyes and lips the way women's make up commonly does, we conveniently forget that objectified men are also wearing it. In a sense, you could say that men who wear makeup are always going for the "natural look."
Just because men are also objectified doesn't mean all things are equal, because western culture, while valuing attractiveness in both sexes, emphasizes power and strength for men while emphasizing sexual desirability for women, in most cases.
- A friend of mine said that the quote "Guys like girls to go all natural, no makeup" actually means "they like already naturally pretty girls". Thoughts on this?
There's probably some truth to that, that varies from person to person, naturally. As I pointed out, I am of the train of thought that what most men consider to be the natural look is NOT completely natural. Know what's completely natural? Exactly what we look like when we roll out of bed. Saggy, droopy eyes...complexion that's either too dry or too blotchy...maybe a little more pink on the side of the face that we sleep on. THAT'S completely natural. That's our default state. (Notice I say OUR, not YOUR. Women AND men.) No one feels physically attractive this way. We want to at least rub our eyes to get them more open, wash our faces to get the oil off and to massage the skin so that our tone evens up a little...we want to moisturize spots that get dry and flaky...shave off that ONE weird whisker that's off on it's own (and the three on my nose). There! Appearance altered! Maybe you girls cheated a little and pinched your cheekbones to get a little natural colour. THAT, at least, if not also moisturizer/foundation is what most men are actually desiring when they SAY they like the natural look.
But a pretty woman is going to be a pretty girl whether she has makeup on or not. That's definitely true. As for if men mean they like naturally pretty girls? I don't rightly know, because I don't say that and mean that.
Now, let's bring this all roundabout.
(*cue monster keyboard solo*...can't say the word without thinking it...)
Remember how I pointed out that I seem to care as much about my appearance as women are often portrayed? Here's the catch.
I want to even out this business on my chin. FOR ME.
I work out...to look better. FOR ME.
I dress a little sharper than most guys I work with. FOR ME.
I do NOT have a pool of available women around me, either at work, or at church. I have NO ONE I am trying to impress. I do what I do...because it makes ME feel better about ME. When I know that I look my best, it helps me feel like I AM at my best. I'm more confident, I'm more bold, I'm quicker to speak up. It's just how I am. I'm not doing it to impress the ladies, because I have no ladies to impress. Looking the part helps me FEEL the part. If an attractive, single woman comes along, and she hates the way I dress, or she dislikes my physique, or she thinks the car I drive is too girly, TOUGH NOOGIES, because I'm not changing those things for her! I look the way I look because it pleases ME.
(Seriously, if she says, "It's me or the Miata," that woman is OUTTA HERE! ^_^ )
And really, that's what it boils down to. Do you get tarted up because YOU like the way you look when you're tarted up? Are you getting tarted up to what YOU consider to be appropriate? Because if you're doing it for you, then good for you! If you're only doing it for someone else, if you're always trying to live up to someone ELSE'S standards...then you'll probably never reach them.
Just my thought on the deal. *shrug*