Masks off, Men

[Jullianna]

Personally, i'm quite tired of listening to women tell me what I should be doing as a "man". I honestly don't think women are so important that we literally have to stop the presses everytime one of them gets into trouble.

I understand, as women get tired of being told by men what they should be doing as well, which point I also made in my post.

I wish you would have waited a few moments to post. While you were creating your post, I was clearly setting out that MEN are victims when women file false reports against them.

P.S. - I have quite a collection of firearms and extensive training in martial/defensive arts. I don't need someone to defend me, but it's awesome when someone cares enough to do so.

 

[Misty77]

I read some of this thread early this morning. It's one of those threads when you most definitely want to "be quick to listen, slow to speak". I really wanted to mull it over.

As a woman/someone whose close family member was raped as a teen, I take it as an encouragement to men to become more proactive in saying that things like (I came across a ton of them when I was looking for friendzone pics earlier in the week) this are not funny:

View attachment 68345

I have no doubt whatsoever that the majority of the men of this forum would never say anything like this or think it was funny. But how many guys on a regular basis are willing to stand in a crowd of men where sexually aggressive remarks against woman are being laughed at and say, "Hey...how would you feel if someone said something like that about your mom, your daughter or your sister?".

I also have no doubt that the majority of the men of this forum would come to the defense of a woman who was being abused in ANY way by another man. I've seen them do it even in these forums. [Don't think we don't notice and appreciate it guys.]

If I step back and look at it from a man's point of view, I could see how it might ruffle a few feathers...the same way we Christian ladies become discouraged by so many "If you don't wear a burka/If you wear makeup you are skanky"/"Submission = bootlickers" threads. Christian ladies know not to flaunt their lady parts and understand the structure of a godly home, just like Christian men know that it is wrong to speak that way about ladies or to force themselves upon a woman sexually. These are things that are truly not in the life of a godly man. I know because I married one and raised one.

As an officer who has worked sexual assaults (not ONLY against women) I want to say that I would encourage WOMEN to become more aggressive in speaking out against women who DO file false reports against attackers. It is THESE women who are to be held accountable for the attitudes of those who have been burned for showing empathy to women who have later confessed to having filed false reports more times than I, as a woman, would like to admit.

I was going to agree with you until you got to the last paragraph. Every statistic that i have found on false reporters puts them no higher than 10%. So the other 90% are literally screwed because, like in any other people group, we have some crazies?

Keep in mind that the cops accused me of filing a false report and refused to even look at the evidence I brought in.

AGAIN, MY POINT WAS NOT TO BLAME ANYONE, BUT TO LET GOOD MEN KNOW THAT THEY CAN INDEED MAKE A DIFFERENCE BY JUST USING THEIR WORDS.

 

[Misty77]

sigh..........

I can see how that would seem like an inconsistency. The topic of the video on the modesty thread was blaming women for dressing in ways that cause men to stumble. This video was telling men that by choosing to act, they can make a difference.

Anyway, don't you think that rape is a little more serious than lust?? Both are problems, but they are not equal.

 

[Misty77]

I was going to applaud you for this, knowing that women who file false rape reports get innocent men imprisoned for a couple up to decades in prison, only to find out the real motivation for it just circled right back around to women again.

Personally, i'm quite tired of listening to women tell me what I should be doing as a "man". I honestly don't think women are so important that we literally have to stop the presses everytime one of them gets into trouble.

I say if women want to stop rape, their best defense, is a gun. Not me pretending to be a body guard.

I would never have thought that I would have been a victim, but you have no idea how paralyzing that fear is. Your only thought is to get out alive with as little hurt as possible.

I now have a concealed handgun license and have taken self-defense courses. That doesn't mean that I still can't be overpowered, or that something else won't go wrong.

 

[Shawn2516]

I would never have thought that I would have been a victim, but you have no idea how paralyzing that fear is. Your only thought is to get out alive with as little hurt as possible.

I now have a concealed handgun license and have taken self-defense courses. That doesn't mean that I still can't be overpowered, or that something else won't go wrong.

You was frozen in fear BEFORE you had the gun. Now you have it.

Also, I want to thank you for taking steps to protect yourself, where as most women just want other men to do the protecting.

 

[Jullianna]

I was going to agree with you until you got to the last paragraph. Every statistic that i have found on false reporters puts them no higher than 10%. So the other 90% are literally screwed because, like in any other people group, we have some crazies?

Keep in mind that the cops accused me of filing a false report and refused to even look at the evidence I brought in.

AGAIN, MY POINT WAS NOT TO BLAME ANYONE, BUT TO LET GOOD MEN KNOW THAT THEY CAN INDEED MAKE A DIFFERENCE BY JUST USING THEIR WORDS.

Statistics only reflect the accuracy of record keeping/reporting. We know that may rapes go unreported, which causes published rape stats to be far lower than they are. I doubt that false reports are prosecuted as often as they should be, which also affect published stats. Just as many rape victims are hesitant to report and call their attackers to account (understandably so), victims of false reports are also hesitant to cooperate (understandably so). Most of them just want the whole thing to go away as quickly as possible so they can move on. Sweeping either of these things under the rug helps no one.

I'm not defending officers I never worked with and do not know, nor am I accountable for their inappropriate behavior. There are good cops AND bad cops, just as there are good/bad doctors, teachers, lawyers, etc. I'm merely saying that if I, as a woman, became far more cautious in how I approached such matters due to having been conned a time or two, I can see how male officers would be as well.

THE deciding factor in my choosing law enforcement as a career was the night someone tried to break into my home when I was 19 and alone. I understand fear. I understand feeling helpless. I never wanted to feel that way again and wanted to make it my life's work to protect others from the same.

 

[st_sebastian]

AGAIN, MY POINT WAS NOT TO BLAME ANYONE, BUT TO LET GOOD MEN KNOW THAT THEY CAN INDEED MAKE A DIFFERENCE BY JUST USING THEIR WORDS.

I guess this is the crux of it for most of us. Instead of posting that you had found an interesting, informative video, there's this handful of implications on the side about what good men know or need to be reminded of.

 

[Praus]

Anyway, don't you think that rape is a little more serious than lust??

"What Praus Thinks" is exactly how I ended up in Alcoholics Anonymous, therefore I try to avoid thinking and concentrate on what the Bible says.

 

[Misty77]

Statistics only reflect the accuracy of record keeping/reporting. We know that may rapes go unreported, which causes published rape stats to be far lower than they are. I doubt that false reports are prosecuted as often as they should be, which also affect published stats. Just as many rape victims are hesitant to report and call their attackers to account (understandably so), victims of false reports are also hesitant to cooperate (understandably so). Most of them just want the whole thing to go away as quickly as possible so they can move on. Sweeping either of these things under the rug helps no one.

I'm not defending officers I never worked with and do not know, nor am I accountable for their inappropriate behavior. There are good cops AND bad cops, just as there are good/bad doctors, teachers, lawyers, etc. I'm merely saying that if I, as a woman, became far more cautious in how I approached such matters due to having been conned a time or two, I can see how male officers would be as well.

The lack of justice for rape survivors has made me reticent to ever trust the police in this situation ever again. I think either the justice system needs to step up, or vigilante justice will be on the rise, especially in places like Texas

 

[Jullianna]

The lack of justice for rape survivors has made me reticent to ever trust the police in this situation ever again. I think either the justice system needs to step up, or vigilante justice will be on the rise, especially in places like Texas

I have to admit that there are days when I'm not entirely opposed to vigilante justice. I've dealt with enough crimes against women/men/children/ethnicities to have had those feelings a time or two myself.

 

[Fenner]

I have to admit that there are days when I'm not entirely opposed to vigilante justice. I've dealt with enough crimes against women/men/children/ethnicities to have had those feelings a time or two myself.

If I had your job and had to see some of the things you see I would feel the same way. It must be difficult at times to keep your personal feelings out of it.

 

[Misty77]

You was frozen in fear BEFORE you had the gun. Now you have it.

Also, I want to thank you for taking steps to protect yourself, where as most women just want other men to do the protecting.

I have protection, but it isn't a fail-safe. There is no one solution for the problem of sexual assault, which I am aware can be directed at anyone. We need to challenge it on every front that we can. The justice department needs to step up, people need to learn to defend themselves and be vigilant, and we need to create a culture that respects every single individual. We need prayer, we need good teaching, and we need God to change hearts and heal wounds.

 

[Praus]

As a woman/someone whose close family member was raped as a teen, I take it as an encouragement to men to become more proactive in saying that things like (I came across a ton of them when I was looking for friendzone pics earlier in the week) this are not funny:

View attachment 68345

I have no doubt whatsoever that the majority of the men of this forum would never say anything like this or think it was funny.

Which part is not funny?

Penalty for trolling: Being shot. Blown up. Pieces gathered and shoved through a very small sieve. And shot again, with your remains to be smeared ....

 

[Jullianna]

If I had your job and had to see some of the things you see I would feel the same way. It must be difficult at times to keep your personal feelings out of it.

Thanks, Fenner. More than you know. The actual victims of crimes are not the only victims. There's a lot of collateral damage. Some deal with it badly. Some never deal with it at all. There's a lot of talk about PTSD for military personnel, but very little for the other professions where it runs rampant. But that would be the topic of a thread for which there is no forum here.

 

[Fenner]

I don't care for that attachment either. Just my 2 cents from the peanut gallery.

 

[Jullianna]

I don't care for that attachment either. Just my 2 cents from the peanut gallery.

I know, right? I was looking for friendzone memes and kept seeing different versions of that one. Unbelievable.

 

[Fenner]

Thanks, Fenner. More than you know. The actual victims of crimes are not the only victims. There's a lot of collateral damage. Some deal with it badly. Some never deal with it at all. There's a lot of talk about PTSD for military personnel, but very little for the other professions where it runs rampant. But that would be the topic of a thread for which there is no forum here.

I can imagine, I think the toughest things for me would be the domestic violence calls, especially the one's with children. I went to college to be a Social Worker but the more I learned about being a Social worker I knew I couldn't handle that.

I have a friend that is a City Police Officer and one that works for CASA (Court appointed special advocate) they've told me things that I've asked them not to finish.

 

[Fenner]

I know, right? I was looking for friendzone memes and kept seeing different versions of that one. Unbelievable.

Was that posted on the forums here? I'm just wondering who would post something like that. It's very insensitive.

 

[Jullianna]

Was that posted on the forums here? I'm just wondering who would post something like that. It's very insensitive.

No, it wasn't posted here. It was posted on the Internet with other friendzone memes. If someone posted something like that here as a joke rather than as an example of what not to do the admins would destroy it I'm sure.

 

[Fenner]

Yeah, I hope so. I'm glad it wasn't here. It makes me sick to think someone would find that funny.