Midnight Confessions

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tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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I don't know if I can confess a couple of things but these are what's weighing on my heart... Firstly, my mum is an alcoholic and for some reason I am deeply ashamed of this; so much so I literally haven't told anyone in my life. I prayed for years for her recovery and healing but it's never come, so I have stopped believing this will ever come to pass. Secondly, I put on a brave front that I'm happy enough in myself to be single and I don't need the commitment of a relationship but I am deeply afraid that I will be alone forever now as I have been single for seven years now. Yes I know I don't need someone else to complete my life, but part of me would still love a relationship again and to share my life with someone. I'm so scared this won't ever happen for me again.
If you haven't already done so, pray for God to search and find a loving and faithful man of your heart's desire. No, you don't need someone else to complete your life but still, it can be a wonderful thing with the right spouse chosen by God.

I can relate to the situation with your mom as my brother is an alcoholic and has been drinking steadily since his teen years. He is 65 years old now, hasn't worked steadily most of his adult life. driver's license revoked and still drinking. To set a good example for my brother I quit drinking totally in 1992. It didn't seem to make a difference. My whole family has prayed for years so I can understand if you are frustrated saying a prayer for your mom for years and still not answered.

I suppose the healing from this disease for your mom and my brother will take place in the next life if not this life. I would keep believing that it is going to happen because God answers all prayer that are aligned with His will and desire, and He is going to answer yours and He will answer mine and anyone else that has prayed for delivery from alcoholism.

There is absolutely no shame for your to bear for your mom so you must give this emotion to God so you can have a certain measure of peace of mind and a little snippet of joy in your heart.

Thank you for being brave enough to tell your story. Even though it made me sad to read it perhaps someone can possibly benefit from it. I pray to God that this is so. God Bless You.
 

littlelady

Junior Member
Dec 28, 2015
67
65
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If you haven't already done so, pray for God to search and find a loving and faithful man of your heart's desire. No, you don't need someone else to complete your life but still, it can be a wonderful thing with the right spouse chosen by God.

I can relate to the situation with your mom as my brother is an alcoholic and has been drinking steadily since his teen years. He is 65 years old now, hasn't worked steadily most of his adult life. driver's license revoked and still drinking. To set a good example for my brother I quit drinking totally in 1992. It didn't seem to make a difference. My whole family has prayed for years so I can understand if you are frustrated saying a prayer for your mom for years and still not answered.

I suppose the healing from this disease for your mom and my brother will take place in the next life if not this life. I would keep believing that it is going to happen because God answers all prayer that are aligned with His will and desire, and He is going to answer yours and He will answer mine and anyone else that has prayed for delivery from alcoholism.

There is absolutely no shame for your to bear for your mom so you must give this emotion to God so you can have a certain measure of peace of mind and a little snippet of joy in your heart.

Thank you for being brave enough to tell your story. Even though it made me sad to read it perhaps someone can possibly benefit from it. I pray to God that this is so. God Bless You.
Thanks for your reply! I'll keep praying and try to find that hope again that I once had. I guess it is one of those circumstances I need to trust God in, whatever the outcome and know in my heart that His will is what will be done, and however that looks He knows best ultimately and always has purpose behind everything. There is a season for everything, and some seasons are longer than others. I'll say a prayer for your brother too. I don't know why I feel ashamed, logically I know there's no reason to be. I'll keep bringing it to God until it's gone, however long that takes.
 

littlelady

Junior Member
Dec 28, 2015
67
65
18
If you haven't already done so, pray for God to search and find a loving and faithful man of your heart's desire. No, you don't need someone else to complete your life but still, it can be a wonderful thing with the right spouse chosen by God.

I can relate to the situation with your mom as my brother is an alcoholic and has been drinking steadily since his teen years. He is 65 years old now, hasn't worked steadily most of his adult life. driver's license revoked and still drinking. To set a good example for my brother I quit drinking totally in 1992. It didn't seem to make a difference. My whole family has prayed for years so I can understand if you are frustrated saying a prayer for your mom for years and still not answered.

I suppose the healing from this disease for your mom and my brother will take place in the next life if not this life. I would keep believing that it is going to happen because God answers all prayer that are aligned with His will and desire, and He is going to answer yours and He will answer mine and anyone else that has prayed for delivery from alcoholism.

There is absolutely no shame for your to bear for your mom so you must give this emotion to God so you can have a certain measure of peace of mind and a little snippet of joy in your heart.

Thank you for being brave enough to tell your story. Even though it made me sad to read it perhaps someone can possibly benefit from it. I pray to God that this is so. God Bless You.
At church today my pastor commented midway through his sermon about how God is able to change our circumstances at any time, but sometimes He is more interested in growing us through our circumstances before changing them. This really struck a chord in my heart, as did much of what he said today, but I remember you and your brother and wanted to share it, even though you have a handle on your emotions regarding this circumstance and I'm sure know this truth already - a soft reminder is always a blessing though! God was definitely speaking to me today :)
 
Jan 13, 2019
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Am the girl who comforts people....gives a shoulder to cry on...rebukes people when the are wrong (in a non-judgmental way😇)...clowns around when someone is gloomy but deep down my heart or when am alone I feel like I don’t matter to anyone..at all😔😔
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,075
6,458
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Am the girl who comforts people....gives a shoulder to cry on...rebukes people when the are wrong (in a non-judgmental way😇)...clowns around when someone is gloomy but deep down my heart or when am alone I feel like I don’t matter to anyone..at all😔😔
If it is any consolation, you matter to God. I am almost sure that there is at least one person in this world that you matter to. I was in a desolate place too once, and not even that long ago but God freed me from the cage of loneliness and desolation that I resided in. I will say a prayer for you for God to show you that there are indeed people that care about you.
 
Jan 13, 2019
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If it is any consolation, you matter to God. I am almost sure that there is at least one person in this world that you matter to. I was in a desolate place too once, and not even that long ago but God freed me from the cage of loneliness and desolation that I resided in. I will say a prayer for you for God to show you that there are indeed people that care about you.
See that’s the thing... even when I pray sometimes I feel like my prayers don’t go past the ceiling..like God has turned his back on me. At times I just talk to God even though I feel the distant but other times I am scared of the feeling.i don’t mean to sound like I am whining but thanks for your prayers
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,075
6,458
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See that’s the thing... even when I pray sometimes I feel like my prayers don’t go past the ceiling..like God has turned his back on me. At times I just talk to God even though I feel the distant but other times I am scared of the feeling.i don’t mean to sound like I am whining but thanks for your prayers
Your quite welcome. With God, there is no ceiling. God heard your prayer for as long as He has been God and that is forever in the past and forever in the future. God will answer your prayer in the present. I don't believe that you are whining at all, there are many others on this site that feel the same as you so please know that you are not alone in this. I will pray also that you have a bright and sunny day tomorrow in your heart.
 
Jan 13, 2019
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Th
Your quite welcome. With God, there is no ceiling. God heard your prayer for as long as He has been God and that is forever in the past and forever in the future. God will answer your prayer in the present. I don't believe that you are whining at all, there are many others on this site that feel the same as you so please know that you are not alone in this. I will pray also that you have a bright and sunny day tomorrow in your heart.[/QUOTE
God bless you
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,508
1,436
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Germany
Music and praise with prayer is how i deal with these situations. Ive seen too much in Christ to let a silence break me
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,075
6,458
113
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Florida
Music and praise with prayer is how i deal with these situations. Ive seen too much in Christ to let a silence break me
That sounds like a sound formula to defuse hard situations. I know that your living environment was hard but find it remarkable that despite that, your spiritual growth has been amazing and I am confident that it will continue to grow.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,508
1,436
113
Germany
That sounds like a sound formula to defuse hard situations. I know that your living environment was hard but find it remarkable that despite that, your spiritual growth has been amazing and I am confident that it will continue to grow.
Ive been growing a lot. My circumstances haven't been easy at all but God has been good. People in my church can't even deal with me sharing burdens because they can't handle it while I still keep moving. God has been really pretty much all I have in most situations
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
26,530
5,057
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Jerry, your thread took some searching to find after falling to page seven here in the singles forum, where while looking, I was distracted and read through some other threads on the way, many of them quite humorous, which I always appreciate (many thanks to all!!!) :) And now that it is well and truly past midnight, my confession is a request for prayer concerning a sub-cutaneous lump on my face that I have determined has grown seemingly significantly since the beginning of this year, a fact that would have escaped my attention entirely if I did not take pictures of myself to share with my sweet heart :love: I will see a doctor about it as soon as I can. I continue to keep you and Darlene in my prayers, and hope you are able to find relief from the anxiety and depression you experience periodically, as well as freedom from any habit you wish to have broken. Please say hello to Darlene for me :D
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
7,818
4,113
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Jerry, your thread took some searching to find after falling to page seven here in the singles forum, where while looking, I was distracted and read through some other threads on the way, many of them quite humorous, which I always appreciate (many thanks to all!!!) :) And now that it is well and truly past midnight, my confession is a request for prayer concerning a sub-cutaneous lump on my face that I have determined has grown seemingly significantly since the beginning of this year, a fact that would have escaped my attention entirely if I did not take pictures of myself to share with my sweet heart :love: I will see a doctor about it as soon as I can. I continue to keep you and Darlene in my prayers, and hope you are able to find relief from the anxiety and depression you experience periodically, as well as freedom from any habit you wish to have broken. Please say hello to Darlene for me :D
Praying for you sis - for nothing is too big for God. May you be healed in all parts of your body especially the lump on your face. I pray in Jesus Name, I declare lump be gone in Jesus Name! Amen.

Blessings and love to you sister in Christ 💜
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,075
6,458
113
64
Florida
Jerry, your thread took some searching to find after falling to page seven here in the singles forum, where while looking, I was distracted and read through some other threads on the way, many of them quite humorous, which I always appreciate (many thanks to all!!!) :) And now that it is well and truly past midnight, my confession is a request for prayer concerning a sub-cutaneous lump on my face that I have determined has grown seemingly significantly since the beginning of this year, a fact that would have escaped my attention entirely if I did not take pictures of myself to share with my sweet heart :love: I will see a doctor about it as soon as I can. I continue to keep you and Darlene in my prayers, and hope you are able to find relief from the anxiety and depression you experience periodically, as well as freedom from any habit you wish to have broken. Please say hello to Darlene for me :D
My mother recently had the same thing and minor one day in-patient surgery was able to be easily corrected. I have said a prayer for you that the same holds true for you. As for myself, in the next month or so I will be having a series of dental appointments to remove what teeth that I have left and replace with dental implants or dentures. A lot of this could have been prevented but years of abuse of smoking and not taking the time to properly clean my teeth each day have taken a serious toll. Other than my smoking addiction I am in relatively good health. I look forward to the day when I will be able to nibble on an apple and crunch a few carrots but right now that is problematic.

As far as anxiety and depression, that comes and goes but over the last couple years in has lessened greatly as my spiritual prayer life has improved. I did have a very bad couple days this week but it was over a minor problem that disrupted my normal routine and has since been resolved.

Darlene does have a few minor health issues that are being addressed but does have a problem breathing if any type of work is needed that involves walking. I try to help out as much as I can in trying to be a good husband. Each day I say a prayer for God to allow me to remain a loving and faithful husband and all that it entails.

I feel bad that I am still a smoker. This must be resolved as it is the only thing that really affects our marriage. I heard it said, more than once from many people that you have to quit for yourself. Well, the thing is I don't want to quit for myself and rationalize that I am worth at least this simple pleasure although it is harmful to my health and that the money wasted could go towards paying down our debt and perhaps purchasing better food. Since I am unwilling to quit for myself I am going to ignore the counsel about quitting for myself and will, by the grace of God and enduring painful withdrawal, I will stop smoking because of the love that I have for Darlene for she is certainly worth it.

Thank you for your concern and all of the prayer you have said for me and Darlene through the years. I really do sincerely appreciate you and pray that you receive a certain measure of happiness and joy in your heart with your sweetheart for years to come. Bob's a good man and you deserve the best that God has to offer. He deserves the best also and I pray for him as well.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
28,075
6,458
113
64
Florida
Praying for you sis - for nothing is too big for God. May you be healed in all parts of your body especially the lump on your face. I pray in Jesus Name, I declare lump be gone in Jesus Name! Amen.

Blessings and love to you sister in Christ 💜
For some reason the Holy Spirit moved me to pray for you less than an hour ago. You are a kind and decent person and certainly are a true spiritual daughter of the Lord. I appreciate who you are as a person very much and pray for God's will and desire to be accomplished in your life. May God continue to bless you on your spiritual journey and your personal relationship with the Lord as you humbly love and serve Him each and every day.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
1,904
626
113
I was delivered from tobacco many years ago, got proud and started looking down on those who smoked, yep, took it back up.
The next time He still helped, but it wasn't a complete deliverance. Been free for I don't know how long, 15, 20 years.
God is good and His mercy endures forever.
Blessings