I don't know if I can confess a couple of things but these are what's weighing on my heart... Firstly, my mum is an alcoholic and for some reason I am deeply ashamed of this; so much so I literally haven't told anyone in my life. I prayed for years for her recovery and healing but it's never come, so I have stopped believing this will ever come to pass. Secondly, I put on a brave front that I'm happy enough in myself to be single and I don't need the commitment of a relationship but I am deeply afraid that I will be alone forever now as I have been single for seven years now. Yes I know I don't need someone else to complete my life, but part of me would still love a relationship again and to share my life with someone. I'm so scared this won't ever happen for me again.
I can relate to the situation with your mom as my brother is an alcoholic and has been drinking steadily since his teen years. He is 65 years old now, hasn't worked steadily most of his adult life. driver's license revoked and still drinking. To set a good example for my brother I quit drinking totally in 1992. It didn't seem to make a difference. My whole family has prayed for years so I can understand if you are frustrated saying a prayer for your mom for years and still not answered.
I suppose the healing from this disease for your mom and my brother will take place in the next life if not this life. I would keep believing that it is going to happen because God answers all prayer that are aligned with His will and desire, and He is going to answer yours and He will answer mine and anyone else that has prayed for delivery from alcoholism.
There is absolutely no shame for your to bear for your mom so you must give this emotion to God so you can have a certain measure of peace of mind and a little snippet of joy in your heart.
Thank you for being brave enough to tell your story. Even though it made me sad to read it perhaps someone can possibly benefit from it. I pray to God that this is so. God Bless You.
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