My basic view on this is that guys need to be about minding their eyes, hearts, and minds and pursuing purity in that way. Women need to be about integrity and honoring themselves, God, and their brothers in Christ in choosing how they dress. Generally, men need to be the ones lovingly holding their brothers accountable to honoring their sisters in Christ and avoiding lust. Women need to be the ones lovingly holding their sisters accountable to dressing in a manner that is pleasing to God. When you start getting a criss-cross of policing, things tend to go south. A man will say, "You women need to quit dressing so immodestly," and the women will fire back and say, "Maybe you should control your eyes and your urges." In the end it just works better of ladies police ladies and fellas police fellas. The reality here is that everyone is responsible for their own actions, but to say that you're going to do whatever you want with no regard for the spiritual welfare of your brothers and sisters in Christ is selfish.
As far as modesty itself goes, it's pretty subjective as it relates to clothing. Everyone has different thoughts and what is modest and what isn't. But when I think of the word "modesty," it's more of a state of the heart than anything. Modesty can be practiced in the way you talk about yourself, talk about other people, the way you love and serve others or choose not to, the way you dress, etc. I think if someone wants to examine whether or not they are being modest as it relates to clothing, consider why you're wearing that thing that might be just a smidge revealing. Is it to draw attention to yourself? If there's a question in your mind about it at all, could there be a better alternative?
The last thing I'll say is that one of the things I've admired most in women I've been interested in over the past several years is that they dressed well and looked really beautiful, but never in a way that was even remotely revealing. My attention and interest was drawn to their heart first rather than their body.
As far as modesty itself goes, it's pretty subjective as it relates to clothing. Everyone has different thoughts and what is modest and what isn't. But when I think of the word "modesty," it's more of a state of the heart than anything. Modesty can be practiced in the way you talk about yourself, talk about other people, the way you love and serve others or choose not to, the way you dress, etc. I think if someone wants to examine whether or not they are being modest as it relates to clothing, consider why you're wearing that thing that might be just a smidge revealing. Is it to draw attention to yourself? If there's a question in your mind about it at all, could there be a better alternative?
The last thing I'll say is that one of the things I've admired most in women I've been interested in over the past several years is that they dressed well and looked really beautiful, but never in a way that was even remotely revealing. My attention and interest was drawn to their heart first rather than their body.
I try to consider myself very modest in how I choose clothing. Although, it is really hard trying to find modest shorts or skirts because most of them are extremely short.
