Playing the Victim Card

[Trailblazer]

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That sail boat ride will be more exciting then any roller coaster ride ever made... How how cool is that.
Oh wait! This is a victim thread. I knew that I should not have bought a sail boat. If I did not have to fool with them darn sails. I would have been watching where I was going. Now I am going to have to do a bunch of sailboat repairs.

 

[PopClick]

Well there's just no other way to tell my history or to explain the domino effect that brought me to where I am today without stating how I was a victim. It is not that I want to play the victim, or hold grudges, it's just that my history is what it is. To make up another scenario where I had the perfect childhood would be a lie, so what is one to do?

Kaycie, I really am sorry to hear about your childhood. I don't think anyone here considers relaying one's own history to be playing the victim card. Certainly you shouldn't hide things or pretend that everything was roses and butterflies when it wasn't. Repressing things is probably just as damaging as wallowing in them.

The friend I mentioned earlier in the thread was making a conscious decision to stay in her situation. She would deny that good things were good. I never had an issue with her talking about what had happened to her, my frustration arose when I could clearly see a way out of her situation to greener grasses, and she would fail to take hold of it. Every single time.
"Wow, really, Elsa? That's GREAT!"
"No it isn't. It's stupid."
"That's a really great opportunity. You should give it a try. Please?"
"I don't feel like it."

It was really depressing to be around, after a while, because there was nothing I could do. I was incredibly sad for her and what she was going through, but I didn't think I could do anything for her until she decided that she wanted to do something for herself first.

 

[MollyConnor]

I try to pray for them. I have a family member who is like this and have tried talking to her but it was no use. So the only thing left to do was to pray.
If they are playing the victim card, that means they have a problem with pride. They are always thinking about themselves and you can't find true happiness, joy or even fulfillment with pride. So it's kinda sad for me to see them, especially this family member of mine. But the Lord is always capable to fix the problem

 

[thecreationtutor]

I try to leave every time a person comes around, starts talking - and the first thing out of their mouth is a big "sigh" - if I know the person likes to play the victim card - is that wrong? Or at what point to do have to seperate yourself because their lack, is starting to make you doubt God's power?

 

[AbbeyJoy]

When I used to work at a special needs home as an activity director for the disabled a nurse would complain about the other nurse. And when that nurse come she would do the same I would hear 2 side of the story and the both would act victimized with each other. It was so annoying..I often just toned them out as the rant on... lol but yeah it was hard

 

[Lynx]

That's one of the few good things about being a music nerd. I always have a song on my mind that I can hum quietly to myself while someone goes on and on and on and on.

 

[ArtsieSteph]

I can honestly say I understand because I have a stupid tendency to also play the victim. Whether it comes from a lack of empathy or the usual human nature to defend oneself from responsibility I have no idea. All I know is if something goes wrong my initial reaction is to figure out why I'm not at fault. Either that or immediately think "CRAP THIS IS ALL MY FAULT WHAT HAVE I DONE D: "

Maybe it's for those of use who constantly need someone to blame for something. And it tends to be either us blaming ourselves or blaming someone else, and more often it's someone else.

I wasn't expecting to wax philosophical here haha.

 

[hoss2576]

I think one of my questions is what benefit is there to playing the victim card? Is it a matter of attention or something else?

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

I think one of my questions is what benefit is there to playing the victim card? Is it a matter of attention or something else?

Attention and sympathy. And possibly justification of some sort of lifestyle or bad decision.

 

[ArtsieSteph]

I think one of my questions is what benefit is there to playing the victim card? Is it a matter of attention or something else?

Probably sympathy, attention, and not having to commit to anything in terms of responsibilities or having to feel bad about a mistake.

 

[DancingForJesus]

Many many people I know are like this, one of them being my own father. I just let the Holy Spirit use me to speak to them when He wants to, and other than that I pretty much avoid hanging around them constantly. They can have a very bad effect on you of taking your eyes off Jesus and your walk with Him, and focusing on the negative and worrying which is exactly what the enemy wants us to do, because if we are worrying we are not listening to God.

 

[jeremyPJ]

I have an ex sister-in-law that can go from being the victim, to the leadership- egotistical "I'm all that you wish you were" in a matter of moments. Depends on the situation. I thank the Lord I don't have to put up with her anymore. Long story, not worth the time. lol

 

[Markum1972]

There is definitely a major difference in someone telling you that their problems are worse and expressing compassion because you can relate.
There is a saying that goes "misery loves company".
I think that some see hearing another's hardships as an opportunity to share their misery.
Understand that as someone that wants to share the liberty of Jesus Christ, there is a desire to be compassionate towards others and the afflictions that they suffer. However, I can tell you from experience that there are some that would rather remain in their misery than receive hope or freedom. I have wondered why this is. What causes this?
Having a good deal of experience with addicts, I see a huge similarity. Addicts are constantly searching after that initial "high" that they experienced despite the fact that they will never achieve it no matter how hard they try. It is said that they experience a euphoria that they begin to confuse with "love" and that is what they are constantly chasing after. I have noticed that those that seem to find comfort in being a victim also are trying to experience a feeling they have had before. Maybe it was the reassurance or attention that someone gave them. Whatever the case, it seems like they are trapped in a place of misery constantly looking for that "high" of being coddled, comforted, reassured, etc...
I think the two have one commonality; the desire to feel love. It is sad that they can't experience pure love because of chasing after a counterfeit of it and thus continue in an unhealthy pattern.
If we have shared the truth with them and they seem to have rejected it, we need to let go and leave things up to the Holy Spirit.
The best thing we can do is pray that God show them the truth so that they can be set free. This goes for any kind of unhealthy habitual behavior that one may have learned.