My mom is like that, she always plays the victim even when she's the perpetrator. I've been accused of playing the victim, but that's because I was a victim many times, you would not believe the life I've had. Well there's just no other way to tell my history or to explain the domino effect that brought me to where I am today without stating how I was a victim. It is not that I want to play the victim, or hold grudges, it's just that my history is what it is. To make up another scenario where I had the perfect childhood would be a lie, so what is one to do?
If someone asks me, "Who raised you?" and I say, "No one, that us kids fended for ourselves." it's the truth. So they say, "Well who fed you?" and I say, "No one. My sister got up to the stove at four years old and made my brother's bottle, and changed his diaper. We dragged cake mix out of the cupboard and ate it out of the box. I remember weeks at a time that there was no adult in the house and we went to school out of boredom, and stole candy from the store to eat, or ate plants outside. My brother even ate dog food." then either they don't believe me, say I'm being a victim, or that I'm holding grudges. What I don't understand is what other kind of history do they want me to give?
When others seem to play the victim I do a little test to see if they are just playing. I see if they have compassion on others, and if they admit their own faults- cause I learned from my mom that someone who just plays the victim card can't do either of these. Like if she left a needle out, and you didn't know it was there, and pricked your finger, she is the victim because you bled on her tablecloth and now she has to get the stain out. If they pass that test, and seem to exaggerate how much they are a victim, I take that as a cry for help. This person is starved for love and compassion, and I say feed it to them! Lather it on thick. I noticed adults are just like children- children go off and play by themselves, but after a while they get hungry for attention and seek you out. Adults don't go looking for it unless they are empty also. As for the victim players, show them love to, but you will never solve their problem, they purposely linger in that state and will not budge.