Prenuptial agreement

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Donkeyfish07

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#21
#21
faroukfarouk said:
"Darling, after we promise before God to be true to each other for ever, let's sign something about what to do if we are divorced."

What counts for more? telling the truth to God? or hiring lawyers to get money out of each other?
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You could just as easily say, if we are going to be together forever.....why do you have a problem signing it? If the other party isn't planning on divorce, why would they have an issue signing one?

Just because someone wants a pre-nup to protect against the possibility of a calamity in the future doesn't mean they do not trust God or are not 100% honest and truthful when they make their wedding vows. It's just an agreement in-case the other party breaks THEIR vows, that they are not obligated to give up everything they own. Many a man has been taken to the cleaners because he went into a marriage thinking "I love her, I intend to spend the rest of my life with her so why would I need a pre-nup?"......he keeps his vows, then the wife decides to leave and be vindictive later on. That's why I say it's a lot fishier for someone to refuse to sign one than it is for someone to ask for one. It works both ways as well, if a lady wants one and the man won't sign it, that's just as fishy.
 
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faroukfarouk

Banned
#22
Feb 21, 2014
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#22
Donkeyfish07 said:
You could just as easily say, if we are going to be together forever.....why do you have a problem signing it? If the other party isn't planning on divorce, why would they have an issue signing one?

Just because someone wants a pre-nup to protect against the possibility of a calamity in the future doesn't mean they do not trust God or are not 100% honest and truthful when they make their wedding vows. It's just an agreement in-case the other party breaks THEIR vows, that they are not obligated to give up everything they own. Many a man has been taken to the cleaners because he went into a marriage thinking "I love her, I intend to spend the rest of my life with her so why would I need a pre-nup?"......he keeps his vows, then the wife decides to leave and be vindictive later on. That's why I say it's a lot fishier for someone to refuse to sign one than it is for someone to ask for one. It works both ways as well, if a lady wants one and the man won't sign it, that's just as fishy.
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Where in the Bible is there a built-in assumption or option for divorce, for people contemplating marriage?
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#23
#23
faroukfarouk said:
Where in the Bible is there a built-in assumption or option for divorce, for people contemplating marriage?
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Why would that matter? A pre-nup is neither an assumption that your going to get divorced, or creating an option for divorce where none previously existed. It's simply a legal precaution. Unfortunately, our legal system does allow causes for Divorce that the bible does not. Fornication is the only biblical reason I'm aware of where it's permissible, yet "Irreconcilable Differences" is a legal strategy someone can use to obtain a divorce. Should a person who keeps their wedding vows and does not file for divorce, have to give up their home because the other party legally obtains a divorce for an un-biblical reason?
 
John_agape

John_agape

Senior Member
#24
Feb 27, 2014
187
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#24
My feelings are if a prenuptial agreement is insisted on then something is fishy. We are to be married for life.

When we married we were both unsaved, but I still would not have gotten married if my wife insisted on a prenuptial agreement.
 
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paulsfam4

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#25
#25
no I would not! money would be the start of the relationship not a good start. its all or nothing..
 
David_1

David_1

Banned
#26
Mar 21, 2011
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#26
IloveyouGod said:
Along the line with Grace's thread about bank accounts, I would like to know your opinion about Prenuptial agreement?
Would you do it? Yes or No and why?

I'll start:
I myself won't do it because in my mind if I'm starting a life with a man n' I don't trust him from the beginning, then why am I getting into this marriage covenant with him to begin with?? But that's my own personal opinion.
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I would only advise it if you were significantly wealthy.

Started out poor with my other half. There was no need.
 
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IloveyouGod

Guest
#27
#27
It is not a lack of trust in your situation and Grace's. I totally agree that you should do this agreement. I just see it as a lack of trust in other circumstances. :)


Jullianna said:
I absolutely would sign a prenup. For people my age, especially people who have children from a previous marriage, I think it's important because, as Grace mentioned in another thread, parents of minor children usually have financial/court ordered obligations the other spouse might not. It's best to deal with those issues up front rather than have them cause strife down the road.

In the case of a deceased spouse, there may be assets/businesses established by a deceased spouse and that deceased spouse should fully expect the living spouse to do all he/she can to see that the couple's children reap the fruits of their labor, passing such assets/businesses on to them intact.

I don't see it as a lack of trust at all. Just seems fair and logical to me. Hopefully, as Christians, we all want our marriages to last forever; but the reality is that the divorce rate for believers is pretty much the same as that for non-believers. Seems like the more you can do to establish guidelines and boundaries at the get go, the better off you both might be.
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Jullianna

Guest
#28
#28
Someone I know told her family that signing a prenup was silly. She was a widow with two sons. Her husband was killed in an industrial accident. With the settlement, she paid off her home and had plenty left to raise her two sons, including college educations. She remarried, setting up business after business for the new hubby. Once the money was gone, so was the hubby, leaving her with an additional son to raise on far less.

When you vow to love, honor, cherish/obey, etc., hopefully you mean it (as a vow before God is a crucial thing), but you have no way of knowing about the other person. I'm sure there are a number of divorced individuals in this forum who have learned this the hard way, so there's no way I could ever fault them for wanting to protect their children from a repeat performance.

I can see how those who have never been married, have never been divorced or who have not yet had children might not agree. It is my sincere hope that they never have to understand why others feel the need for a prenup.
 
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IloveyouGod

Guest
#29
#29
It's not "Refuse" to sign the agreement Donkeyfish, but rather makes me wonder, why is there lack of trust. I mean if there are no special circumstances like those with Jullianna and Grace, and everything goes normal, then that raises a big question mark for me. But of course, if the 2 spoke about it and came to an agreement that it's something that both of them are willing to do, then by all means, it will be done. :)


Donkeyfish07 said:
If someone wants to have some legal protection for themselves prior to the marriage, I don't see a problem with that. A person who refuses to sign one would be the red flag IMO, not the person asking for one.
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IloveyouGod

Guest
#30
#30
Very good comment David. I wouldn't start my life with a man if he cannot provide for his family. :) I'm not saying he has to be extremely rich, but he cannot be poor or unable to provide for his family as a man for his own dignity too. :) But I would still won't sign this agreement because I don't believe in it unless there are special circumstances and both parties talked about it and are convinced, then of course it will be done.


David_1 said:
I would only advise it if you were significantly wealthy.

Started out poor with my other half. There was no need.
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#31
#31
IloveyouGod said:
It's not "Refuse" to sign the agreement Donkeyfish, but rather makes me wonder, why is there lack of trust. I mean if there are no special circumstances like those with Jullianna and Grace, and everything goes normal, then that raises a big question mark for me. But of course, if the 2 spoke about it and came to an agreement that it's something that both of them are willing to do, then by all means, it will be done. :)
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Def, it must be agreed upon. If both people can't agree on whether there will or will not be one (I support it either way people want to do it, it's their marriage after all) perhaps they need to work on some things before they get married :p.

I don't think it implies a lack of trust at all. In my mind, it's simply a precaution. The reality is, a lot of people get married never suspecting that their significant other would ever go back on their marriage vows. Nobody EVER expects it. After all, why marry someone to begin with if you expect the other person to divorce you and clean you out financially on down the line? If a couple doesn't want to have one, that's great. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for one though.
 
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GodIsSalvation

Banned
#32
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
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#32
faroukfarouk said:
"Darling, after we promise before God to be true to each other for ever, let's sign something about what to do if we are divorced."

What counts for more? telling the truth to God? or hiring lawyers to get money out of each other?
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Heh I get this point too, and this is mostly why I wouldn't ask to sign a pre-nup or would be quite curious if a woman asked me to know one.

However, we shouldn't be too judgemental of people who ask for one. I can see how if you're just going to get married and you're young like me and not born into a Forbes 500 Family how a pre-nup be totally unnecessary.

However also consider a case where divorce isn't the issue, like has been pointed out for more elderly people especially those that are widowed. For instance in the case of being widowed but you have kids from a previous marriage. That I think would be a situation where maybe a pre-nuptial agreement be more justified. Not saying like "oh we're going to plan for divorce" but rather if you were older and had kids and were widowed planning for like if you died to make sure your kids from the first marriage wouldn't have to suffer some sort of Cinderella Step-mom treatment.
 
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IloveyouGod

Guest
#33
#33
You do have a point saying it's a precaution. I'd say it's a precaution against an unexpected disaster, fine, but still, both parties has to agree first. :)


Donkeyfish07 said:
Def, it must be agreed upon. If both people can't agree on whether there will or will not be one (I support it either way people want to do it, it's their marriage after all) perhaps they need to work on some things before they get married :p.

I don't think it implies a lack of trust at all. In my mind, it's simply a precaution. The reality is, a lot of people get married never suspecting that their significant other would ever go back on their marriage vows. Nobody EVER expects it. After all, why marry someone to begin with if you expect the other person to divorce you and clean you out financially on down the line? If a couple doesn't want to have one, that's great. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for one though.
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kenthomas27

Guest
#34
#34
Well OK, then, letsth get things rolling Jullianna! If you'll just ok this paperwork here we'll sthart our dating exsthravganza!


From the Law Office.jpg

if you'll go ahead and slide em' a little check, I think we'll all be good to go! What time shall I pick you up?
 
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Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#35
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
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#35
christiangamer said:
I have to ask to anyone considering prenuptuals, what possessions are so important that you cannot be without those materials and thus must sign said agreement? What is it that you expect to take with you to eternity? Will the day come you will not lose the item you cling onto?
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That may be true, but say youre partner cheated...Thats not someone Id want to give a cent to.
 
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IloveyouGod

Guest
#36
#36
That's a good one kenthomas. :D


kenthomas27 said:
Well OK, then, letsth get things rolling Jullianna! If you'll just ok this paperwork here we'll sthart our dating exsthravganza!


View attachment 74575

if you'll go ahead and slide em' a little check, I think we'll all be good to go! What time shall I pick you up?
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Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#37
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
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#37
I wouldn't want a Prenup. Of course that wasn't a problem when I got married, neither one of us had much or money or owned anything of much value, unless you count a couple of cats and a Ford Festiva.
 
Misty77

Misty77

Senior Member
#38
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
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#38
I would definitely sign a prenup the next time around, and I will encourage others to do so. It protects your assets and your ability to provide for yourself and your children in case the person you married turns into a [donkey]. It happens.
 
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IloveyouGod

Guest
#40
#40
Well, I know they can turn into more than a donkey, but I just can't say it here!! :D


Misty77 said:
I would definitely sign a prenup the next time around, and I will encourage others to do so. It protects your assets and your ability to provide for yourself and your children in case the person you married turns into a [donkey]. It happens.
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