Protector vs Predator

[revTaco]

Which are are you? I sometimes struggle back and forth in my own mind as to which catagory I would fall in. I do think that women desire a protector yet they tend to find a predator. Even here at CC.
Not all characteristics listed for each catagory are full and some people may have some characteristics but not others.
Reputation- well reputations can appear to be one way when their character is totally different. God sees the true character of a person, only we can know the reputation.

Protectors:
Characteristically are moral, godly, self-sacrificial, servant, guardian, obedient, loving, merciful.


Predators:
Characteristically are immoral, ungodly, selfish, want to be served, attacker, non-obedient.

Men were ment to be the protectors, the guardians, the defenders.

I felt like writing this mainly due to what I have observed in my own heart, the battle for purity. I apart from God would be a depraved man. Why does it seem that women fall for predators more than protectors? When did men forget our role? Why are we not fighting back?

Any thoughts, comments?

 

[Vidy]

I think... they don't fall for predators more often (though it's definitely more common when the predator APPEARS to be a protector). It's just that you hear about the predator cases more often =(

 

[sportygirl]

I feel like predators can be very good at hiding themsleves as protectors. I know I wouldnt fall for a guy who was outwardly those types of characteristics, but even in my past relationship I've realized that what I thought my ex really was a protector and when he truely cared about me he was, but eventually he didnt care as much anymore, and made me walk back in the dark around 11 or 12 about 1/4 of a mile (yes it was on campus, but still not safe) and this was the same guy that wouldnt let me walk back to my room at 1 in the afternoon when we were first together.

 

[loveschild]

I'd like to see everyones real picture. Are you hiding? People lie. Men and woman. It would be cool for the men to be the protectors. Soft and cuddley at the same time.

 

[zeroturbulence]

At first I thought you meant predator as in 'online predator', but after reading I realize you mean someone that treats a woman like dirt.

Well, its been studied and shown that women prefer 'the bad guy' to the 'good guy' almost every time. Why? Because..GOOD GUYS ARE BORING. Yes, that about sums it up. Bad guys are jerks but they are perceived as much more exciting to women, and that is why us good guys get overlooked a lot. We are like the practical, reliable family sedan and the other guys are like the hot sports car.

Unfortunately its not easy being male, christian and desireable.

Just another cross for us to bear I guess...

oh and YES THAT IS MY REAL PICTURE! And no, the suit doesnt chafe at all! ...um not really

 

[Dread_Zeppelin]

At first I thought you meant predator as in 'online predator', but after reading I realize you mean someone that treats a woman like dirt.

Well, its been studied and shown that women prefer 'the bad guy' to the 'good guy' almost every time. Why? Because..GOOD GUYS ARE BORING. Yes, that about sums it up. Bad guys are jerks but they are perceived as much more exciting to women, and that is why us good guys get overlooked a lot. We are like the practical, reliable family sedan and the other guys are like the hot sports car.

Unfortunately its not easy being male, christian and desireable.

Just another cross for us to bear I guess...

oh and YES THAT IS MY REAL PICTURE! And no, the suit doesnt chafe at all! ...um not really

Ha wow I couldn't say it better myself. Yes its true, good guys are boring. But usually the good guys in question would rather complain that they can't get dates and become bitter then actually go out of their way to get a personality (not saying this to anyone in particular, mind you).

I really hate the "good guy" excuse. It implies that it's not THEIR fault, but everyone elses. Just think about how childish that sounds.

 

[Matthew]

I don't really accept the idea that women prefer the bad guys because they're exciting, many women pick the exciting guy with the edgy attitude and then endure a miserable relationship and end up thinking badly of all men, so I think the truth is women like the idea of a bad guy, but they want the reality of a good guy.

Unfortuantely good guys don't act macho so don't seem attractive, and bad guys just don't act like good guys because they are all ego most of the time, so women have a hard time of it I think it's fair to say.

I think really women know the macho image means there's an immature guy underneath and they honestly don't want that, they just want the good guys to step up and show a little more confidence, just enough to show they're not timid like a schoolboy, problem for us guys is it's hard to find that balance, every women has her preference and all the while the hot girl still goes out with the good looking low-life thug, it's disheartening, but there is a bit too much whining I will agree.

 

[QuestionTime]

Protectors:
Characteristically are moral, godly, self-sacrificial, servant, guardian, obedient, loving, merciful.


Predators:
Characteristically are immoral, ungodly, selfish, want to be served, attacker, non-obedient.

I felt like writing this mainly due to what I have observed in my own heart, the battle for purity. I apart from God would be a depraved man. Why does it seem that women fall for predators more than protectors? When did men forget our role? Why are we not fighting back?

Any thoughts, comments?

If the Women are godly, they want men that are godly. Same thing with us men. If we aren't godly then we settle for ungodly women.

Either we are good trees or we are evil trees, Jesus said. Whatever kind of tree we are, is the kind of tree we will attract.

 

[MahogonySnail]

If a woman desires a bad guy, is she really a christian? We esteem highly in others what things we esteem in our own lives.

 

[Jennifleur]

I agree, I think it's the idea of dating a bad guy that women like, not the bad guy himself. Either way, though, it's not true of me. Bad guys turn me off very quickly.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Predators normally go after a woman. I like that in a guy. Now dont get me wrong, no i dont like ungodly selfish blah blah whatever taco said the characteristics of a predator was, but i want someone who will actively pursue me. Protectors normally are to shy to scared to go after a woman. How boring.

 

[MahogonySnail]

predator:

Protector:

 

[Pheonix]

I like those pictures

Barbarian vs. viking

 

[seoulsearch]

revTaco: I was just wondering, when you said you struggle between the two extremes, does that mean you wrestle between wanting to treat women badly sometimes and then wanting to treat them well at other times? I'm not criticizing, just wanting some clarification...

I think some women like the idea of "taming" a bad boy... when... of course... this is impossible, but women, like men, sometimes go for an impossible challenge.

In my own experience, the problem I've had with nice guys is that they are SO nice that, let's say if I had married one guy I'm thinking of in particular, I would come home and find out he'd given away all our savings, car, and probably the house as well.

This could just be my own bad experience, but the nice guys I've been around who have expressed interest in dating had little to no discernment of when to stand up to people and never said no to anyone--if he and I would have been in public and let's say some guy was giving me trouble... I think this particular guy I'm thinking of would have said, "I'm so sorry to have offended you, sir... Here, take her... she's all yours! Any other way I can help? Maybe you'd like HER car as well?"

Now yes... I can why some guys would want to give me away , but I just figured... if I'm going to have to stand up for myself AND him as well... I have two choices: 1. become a guy and fulfill the male role, because obviously, he wasn't going to do it, or 2. keep on plugging away by myself because at least this way, I'd only have to defend myself and not someone else who tells me he's the man!!

 

[Pheonix]

This could just be my own bad experience, but the nice guys I've been around who have expressed interest in dating had little to no discernment of when to stand up to people and never said no to anyone--if he and I would have been in public and let's say some guy was giving me trouble... I think this particular guy I'm thinking of would have said, "I'm so sorry to have offended you, sir... Here, take her... she's all yours! Any other way I can help? Maybe you'd like HER car as well?"

Now yes... I can why some guys would want to give me away , but I just figured... if I'm going to have to stand up for myself AND him as well... I have two choices: 1. become a guy and fulfill the male role, because obviously, he wasn't going to do it, or 2. keep on plugging away by myself because at least this way, I'd only have to defend myself and not someone else who tells me he's the man!!

What kind of men have you been involved with??? When my girlfriend and I were together, if someone had come up and given her "trouble" I'd have killed the fool with my bear hands. chewed his throat out if needed. Even if doing so meant jail or me dead, I still would have done so.

That's just me though.

Actually to be honest I'd do the same for any of my three or four friends.

 

[Pheonix]

Yes, I'm a very brutal mentality when it comes to those I love. I'm like that guy with the jaw bone of a donkey. Sampson was it?????

 

[Pheonix]

Predators normally go after a woman. I like that in a guy. Now dont get me wrong, no i dont like ungodly selfish blah blah whatever taco said the characteristics of a predator was, but i want someone who will actively pursue me. Protectors normally are to shy to scared to go after a woman. How boring.

Nobody suspects the butterfly. Or the smiling penguin. And everyone overlooks the giant in the corner.

 

[revTaco]

revTaco: I was just wondering, when you said you struggle between the two extremes, does that mean you wrestle between wanting to treat women badly sometimes and then wanting to treat them well at other times? I'm not criticizing, just wanting some clarification...

I think some women like the idea of "taming" a bad boy... when... of course... this is impossible, but women, like men, sometimes go for an impossible challenge.

In my own experience, the problem I've had with nice guys is that they are SO nice that, let's say if I had married one guy I'm thinking of in particular, I would come home and find out he'd given away all our savings, car, and probably the house as well.

This could just be my own bad experience, but the nice guys I've been around who have expressed interest in dating had little to no discernment of when to stand up to people and never said no to anyone--if he and I would have been in public and let's say some guy was giving me trouble... I think this particular guy I'm thinking of would have said, "I'm so sorry to have offended you, sir... Here, take her... she's all yours! Any other way I can help? Maybe you'd like HER car as well?"

Now yes... I can why some guys would want to give me away , but I just figured... if I'm going to have to stand up for myself AND him as well... I have two choices: 1. become a guy and fulfill the male role, because obviously, he wasn't going to do it, or 2. keep on plugging away by myself because at least this way, I'd only have to defend myself and not someone else who tells me he's the man!!

I think my struggles internally are do i sew to my flesh or to the spirit. And some times, not all the times I come across women who are carnal thinking and I act towards my carnal nature, feeling guilty and then seeking forgiveness. The other side is I feel like I should protect people from guys that think mainly carnally. I have already come across some on here both men and women who have sewn to their carnal side, some enjoy it(it feels good right) and others feel the seeminly endless guilt. The internet makes it easier to hide in some ways, and often makes others feel very safe to the point they reveal to much about themselves too quickly and attach themselves emotionally to someone, then physically. Perhaps I am rambling and not making sense. I think some men/women forget to put God first, and succumb to their fleshly desires and are here to prey and not to protect what they should. Do you remember the story of knights who would defend a womans honor, chastity... What happened to that?

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Nobody suspects the butterfly. Or the smiling penguin. And everyone overlooks the giant in the corner.

Your right, i would never suspect the penguin

 

[FireWire]

I think really women know the macho image means there's an immature guy underneath and they honestly don't want that, they just want the good guys to step up and show a little more confidence, just enough to show they're not timid like a schoolboy, problem for us guys is it's hard to find that balance, every women has her preference and all the while the hot girl still goes out with the good looking low-life thug, it's disheartening, but there is a bit too much whining I will agree. [/quote]

I agree with this Matthew and it can be difficult to get the right balance sometimes. Just move too much over the confidence line and it can be perceived as being arrogant.