Purity.. Flip the switch... how???

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seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#21
May 23, 2009
16,213
5,186
113
#21
P.S. Sorry for the double post but I also wanted to mention that after being divorced, it's also another life-changing challenge to Flip the Switch Back Off and go from, "It's FINALLY Ok and Allowed!" back to the square box of "NO NO NO, NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!"

I had a really rough time going from being married to a husband I loved and was super attracted to back to, "Don't talk about it, don't ask about it, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT OR YOU ARE SINNING!!!!" (especially after finding out he had remarried and was sharing This Wonderful Gift with someone else.)

Sigh. But as with anything else in life, God will help you cope. Doesn't mean it isn't super difficult, though.
 
Desdichado

Desdichado

Senior Member
#22
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
113
#22
CatHerder said:
I think that for many it's the "off" switch rather than the "on" switch that is the problem.

a dimmer switch would be nice.
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The man is right.

I struggled to find an off-switch, so the Lord forced a cold re-boot.
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#23
#23
I do understand how giving yourself to somebody for the first time could be a little scary- even in the deepest love, people still have their insecurities, no matter how much they trust the other person. So I get feeling nervous about it that first time.

What I'm not able to wrap my head around really, I guess, is this idea that it would be such a difficult thing to let go of, with your spouse. With the person you love and trust enough to marry, the person you've probably been dying to "flip the switch" with for a while...

Maybe I'm looking at it wrong; maybe from the point of view of not being even ready for a relationship, the thought of giving yourself to someone you haven't even met is where the issue is?

That would make sense. I think.
I, on the other hand, am probably not making any sense at all.
 
Pipp

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
#24
Sep 17, 2013
5,539
2,713
113
Georgia
#24
MissCris said:
I do understand how giving yourself to somebody for the first time could be a little scary- even in the deepest love, people still have their insecurities, no matter how much they trust the other person. So I get feeling nervous about it that first time.

What I'm not able to wrap my head around really, I guess, is this idea that it would be such a difficult thing to let go of, with your spouse. With the person you love and trust enough to marry, the person you've probably been dying to "flip the switch" with for a while...

Maybe I'm looking at it wrong; maybe from the point of view of not being even ready for a relationship, the thought of giving yourself to someone you haven't even met is where the issue is?

That would make sense. I think.
I, on the other hand, am probably not making any sense at all.
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You make perfect sense. :)
 
F

faroukfarouk

Banned
#26
Feb 21, 2014
5,672
18
0
#26
MissCris said:
I do understand how giving yourself to somebody for the first time could be a little scary- even in the deepest love, people still have their insecurities, no matter how much they trust the other person. So I get feeling nervous about it that first time.

What I'm not able to wrap my head around really, I guess, is this idea that it would be such a difficult thing to let go of, with your spouse. With the person you love and trust enough to marry, the person you've probably been dying to "flip the switch" with for a while...

Maybe I'm looking at it wrong; maybe from the point of view of not being even ready for a relationship, the thought of giving yourself to someone you haven't even met is where the issue is?

That would make sense. I think.
I, on the other hand, am probably not making any sense at all.
Click to expand...
Well, I think it can be said that, if we by God's grace take care of being faithful to the Lord, then He will take care of us having a faithful, wholesome, appropriate and full relationship with a spouse.
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#27
#27
faroukfarouk said:
Well, I think it can be said that, if we by God's grace take care of being faithful to the Lord, then He will take care of us having a faithful, wholesome, appropriate and full relationship with a spouse.
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Yes...no arguments here. I'm just...urgh, I'm having a difficult time explaining fully what I mean...

This whole purity thing. Placing so much value in having kept oneself sexually pure for any period of time. It seems like what the OP was saying was that it would be hard for her to...open up...ugh!! Anyway, to give up that part of herself because it's too valuable to her to share with a spouse...and it just seems really strange to me that anyone would feel that way?

I am definitely not explaining it well.
 
K

kenthomas27

Guest
#28
#28
MissCris said:
Yes...no arguments here. I'm just...urgh, I'm having a difficult time explaining fully what I mean...

This whole purity thing. Placing so much value in having kept oneself sexually pure for any period of time. It seems like what the OP was saying was that it would be hard for her to...open up...ugh!! Anyway, to give up that part of herself because it's too valuable to her to share with a spouse...and it just seems really strange to me that anyone would feel that way?

I am definitely not explaining it well.
Click to expand...

No, you're not, but your cute avatar is making me not really care.
 
F

faroukfarouk

Banned
#29
Feb 21, 2014
5,672
18
0
#29
MissCris said:
Yes...no arguments here. I'm just...urgh, I'm having a difficult time explaining fully what I mean...

This whole purity thing. Placing so much value in having kept oneself sexually pure for any period of time. It seems like what the OP was saying was that it would be hard for her to...open up...ugh!! Anyway, to give up that part of herself because it's too valuable to her to share with a spouse...and it just seems really strange to me that anyone would feel that way?

I am definitely not explaining it well.
Click to expand...
Well, a born again Christian walking with the Lord who years previously might have had a partner, can still I think have a cleansed and wholesome relationship with a Christian spouse.
 
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