Pursuing a Relationship

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Who should pursue?

  • I am a male and I think the male should pursue

    Votes: 11 20.4%

  • I am a male and I think it's okay if the female pursues

    Votes: 16 29.6%

  • I am a female and I think the male should pursue

    Votes: 23 42.6%

  • I am a female and I think it's okay if the female pursues

    Votes: 4 7.4%
  • Total voters
    54
  • Poll closed .
P

Powemm

Guest
#61
#61
a pastor asked me to paint a picture "in words" of the kind of relationship i have for a vision..
my reply was " i dont have one painted"..
he frowned at me and put the tips of his fingers to his chin.. He sat back in his chair and responded "everyone has a picture of the type of relationship they want, why dont you?"..
well i tried it my way a few times., and the pictures i painted turned out pretty bad..
so now i stay in the present moment and allow God to paint His picture in it..
the picture is far brighter, much more pleasing, and far more joyful and happy doing things that are pleasing to Him first, rather than seeking out whats pleasing to me first..
Gods either in it, or not
 
Misty77

Misty77

Senior Member
#62
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
0
#62
I've been back in the dating world for a couple of years. Intellectually, I see no reason why women shouldn't pursue men, but experience has taught me that men will pursue what they really want. If he isn't really making an effort, then he is not really all that interested. No longer pursing men has taken a lot of the guesswork out of relationships. I'll still introduce myself to new people and be friendly to everyone; I just won't be the leader in a relationship.
 
C

Catlynn

Guest
#63
#63
It's true. Men will usually show SOME kind of interest in what they want. There's a guy who lives around here who I had a crush on but he never showed any interest at all! I thought maybe he needed to get to know me. Worked that in a bit and still nothin. It really crushed my spirits for a bit, but I bounced back. lol it's not super often these days that I like a guy enough to WANT him to want to pursue me. So it's weird when I do but he doesn't care. So strange.
 
C

colalella2891

Guest
#64
#64
Misty77 said:
I've been back in the dating world for a couple of years. Intellectually, I see no reason why women shouldn't pursue men, but experience has taught me that men will pursue what they really want. If he isn't really making an effort, then he is not really all that interested. No longer pursing men has taken a lot of the guesswork out of relationships. I'll still introduce myself to new people and be friendly to everyone; I just won't be the leader in a relationship.
Click to expand...
I agree with what you said completely. Women do the same thing though. They can show no interest at all, or reject men completely. So it can happen on both sides.
 
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Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#65
Jan 15, 2011
6,077
3,505
113
#65
Catlynn said:
It's true. Men will usually show SOME kind of interest in what they want. There's a guy who lives around here who I had a crush on but he never showed any interest at all! I thought maybe he needed to get to know me. Worked that in a bit and still nothin. It really crushed my spirits for a bit, but I bounced back. lol it's not super often these days that I like a guy enough to WANT him to want to pursue me. So it's weird when I do but he doesn't care. So strange.
Click to expand...
Cat, there are some men out there that you could parade past them with a huge banner that said "I'm interested in you, please ask me out" and they would just automatically assume it was intended for someone else.
 
christian74

christian74

Senior Member
#66
Oct 1, 2013
594
282
63
#66
Flower doesn't uproot itself to chase bees but rather cause them to come to her.

However, I'm hoping that God would cause me to fall into a deep sleep once I'm done naming all the animals He brought so He could take my side and bring her to me one day out of blue when I am least expecting it. I don't know how Adam knew that the woman standing in front of him was made from his flesh and bone; but one thing was clear that it was God who brought them together and there was no need for pursuit.

If this is not the case... I think men should pursue and little sign of interest from women would be appreciated.
 
C

Catlynn

Guest
#67
#67
Oncefallen said:
Cat, there are some men out there that you could parade past them with a huge banner that said "I'm interested in you, please ask me out" and they would just automatically assume it was intended for someone else.
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Haha thanks for that. It was a while ago and eventually gave up. For some reason I never flat out told him I liked him, but he's one of those really hot guys that girls fawn over all day long. I didn't want to be another of those. If he wasn't interested, oh well. :)
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#68
#68
christian74 said:
Flower doesn't uproot itself to chase bees but rather cause them to come to her.
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You know that worker bees are all females, right? So, in your metaphor, the female searches out its target and...takes what she wants...? *smirk*
 
C

Catlynn

Guest
#69
#69
Shouryu said:
You know that worker bees are all females, right? So, in your metaphor, the female searches out its target and...takes what she wants...? *smirk*
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Huh....good to know.

By the way everyone, I totally didn't mean to have 'Cat's personal dating share time' and make everyone uncomfortable. Lol just, don't mind me. :)
 
F

FireWire

Guest
#70
#70
Oncefallen said:
Cat, there are some men out there that you could parade past them with a huge banner that said "I'm interested in you, please ask me out" and they would just automatically assume it was intended for someone else.
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That was me until I decided to be permanently single.
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#71
#71
Catlynn said:
Huh....good to know.

By the way everyone, I totally didn't mean to have 'Cat's personal dating share time' and make everyone uncomfortable. Lol just, don't mind me. :)
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aw did i miss sharing time again!!!

dangit
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#72
#72
Catlynn said:
Huh....good to know.

By the way everyone, I totally didn't mean to have 'Cat's personal dating share time' and make everyone uncomfortable. Lol just, don't mind me. :)
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No worries, mate. It's good to know that you like 'really hot guys'. *Snicker*
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#73
#73
Oncefallen said:
Cat, there are some men out there that you could parade past them with a huge banner that said "I'm interested in you, please ask me out" and they would just automatically assume it was intended for someone else.
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Yeah pretty much.

That's why some of us suggested something that causes mild discomfort. At least then people would know.

Like back in grade school, if you liked someone, you gave them more of a hard time than everyone else.
 
C

Catlynn

Guest
#74
#74
Tintin said:
No worries, mate. It's good to know that you like 'really hot guys'. *Snicker*
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Maaaannnn....there definitely isn't a "type" when it comes to looks and what I'm attracted to. :D
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#75
#75
Misty77 said:
I've been back in the dating world for a couple of years. Intellectually, I see no reason why women shouldn't pursue men, but experience has taught me that men will pursue what they really want. If he isn't really making an effort, then he is not really all that interested. No longer pursing men has taken a lot of the guesswork out of relationships. I'll still introduce myself to new people and be friendly to everyone; I just won't be the leader in a relationship.
Click to expand...
Not always. If a man believes he doesn't have a chance with you, he may not pursue you. But once he realizes he does have a chance, he will likely act.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#76
#76
Catlynn said:
Maaaannnn....there definitely isn't a "type" when it comes to looks and what I'm attracted to. :D
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Sorry, Catlynn. Just being a cheeky beggar.
 
christian74

christian74

Senior Member
#78
Oct 1, 2013
594
282
63
#78
Haha, I didn't know about all worker bees being females - thanks for pointing it out :)
 
M

meiBaby

Guest
#79
#79
culturally, man pursues a woman. i go with that. the feeling of being valued and treasured by a lover is greater when they pursue you. just like the parable of the pearl of great price :) but women should make themselves 'woman of worth' too :D
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#80
#80
Buy a crossbow and shoot them in the heel. Pursuit over.
 
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