I'm not a conversationalist. If you need somebody to talk to, pay a shrink or get a parrot. I'm not telling you about my day and I don't really care to hear about yours. You don't need to know about my past, and I don't really care to hear about yours. That's info that does neither of us any good. Sometimes...most of the time...practically all of the time...I am simply quiet. Nothing is wrong; I'm not thinking about anything; I'm not mad...I'm just quiet. No need to mess up perfectly good silence with the flapping of gums.
No, you most certainly may NOT run the TV remote, nor may you touch my car radio. You will either watch cooking shows non-stop and listen to my TOOL playlist or you can go home. If I'm watching a documentary and you try to grab my remote to watch "reality TV", you gonna get a whoopin'.
I've been around enough to know most, if not all, of the "tricks". I can out-analyze a psychoanalyst, so your chances of flattering me or playing to my "ego" are slim to none. If you have something to say - don't try to be clever, or cute, or sweet. Just spit it out.