Red Flags or Overreacting!!

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azo

Member
#21
Jan 16, 2017
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#21
renewed_hope said:
I will agree to follow Tommy on this one, but at least for your side of things have a conversation with her about your feelings and that you have noticed this, this, and this about y'alls relationship. There may be something going on with her that she may not feel comfortable or she may not think she is treating you any different. I know when i was sexually assaulted several months ago I treated my bf different and didnt realize it until he said something. I'm not saying she was but if you just abruptly end things you will always wonder why and having a serious conversation is extremely important for closure
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First I want to say that I am sorry to hear that you had experienced such an attack so recently. That is horrible and I am sending a prayer out to you that you are not permanently scared over that. I know I shouldn't end things abruptly but that is how I am feeling right now. I am going to express how I am feeling and the things I didn't appreciate what she did during that time in a healthy way.
 
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azo

Member
#22
Jan 16, 2017
42
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#22
Saturn said:
I think you need to talk to her about this. It looks like she doesn't see anything wrong with her behavior, so maybe she doesn't think the two of you are serious or because it looks like she can just kind of run all over you and you won't ever say anything.

As for her going out of town and leaving you alone. The two of you are not married, and you haven't even been dating a year, i think it's unrealistic to assume she would stay with you just because you don't have family around.
What is interesting to me is that she did not invite you to go with her.

I just feel like she does not take this relationship seriously and she acts whichever way she wants towards you because so far, you've said nothing to her about what is upsetting you.
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You are right that I shouldn't expect her to stay in town during the holidays but given the situation was reverse I certainly wouldn't have done that to her. Granted we are not Married but she shouldn't expect the benefits of Marriage from me if she doesn't want to be with me.
 
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azo

Member
#23
Jan 16, 2017
42
0
0
#23
preacher4truth said:
Let her go and stop showing all interest in her. That's what is keeping her away, showing interest. She expects it. If she comes back so be it and if not give thanks to God for watching over you and not allowing this poor relationship to continue.
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That is certainly where I am at with this situation now. I think it is time I come to terms with that. This is going to be hard for me. If it is meant to be it will but if not then I will accept that and move on..
 
dailybread

dailybread

Senior Member
#24
Jan 7, 2018
140
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#24
azo said:
Hello Everyone,

There has been somethings on my mind for quite sometime regarding the person I am seeing and don't want to seem like I am overreacting. I been dating this Woman since late April of last year and we started out great spending time together and getting to know each other. We would talk about pretty anything particularly the good and bad about ourselves and what we have been through. The relationship seem to be progressing well with its ups and downs along the way but over the last couple of months things have been different. Her demeanor towards me has been different. So much so that she has been talking to me in a condescending manner sometimes even in public. She use to be affectionate with me in a non sexual way of course with hugs and kisses but now I barely even get a hug. When my birthday came in November we did go out but it did seem like her mind was someplace else. In the same month I thought we would spend our first Thanksgiving together but she decided to go out of town for the holiday. I was disappointed about that as I really want to spend that time with her but even though she decided to go out of town and leave me alone she asked me to watch over her dogs and look after her house while she was gone. At the time I was really puzzled by that but being the good guy that I am I said I would do it. So after she returned I pretty much let it go and just wanted to focus on moving forward but some of the problems were still there in how she was speaking to me especially in public. As Christmas was approaching I thought again we would have the chance to spend our first Major holiday together but again she decided to take a trip out of town. Now granted it was to visit her soon and new born grandson which I can understand but she never even talked to me about leaving or the fact that she was living me alone with no family around me for the holidays. This really started making me look at her a little harder in some areas. Recently I sent her a text message asking her how she was doing and if she wanted to go out to the movies with me Tomorrow. I didn't get a response back from her which I thought was a little odd as she usually does within a reasonable amount of time. At first I thought maybe she just can't respond back because she was in the middle of something important but then several hours went by and still no response then I started thinking maybe something happen as I was starting to worry. Over 6 hours had pass and just as I was about to call her she phoned me. When she talked to me she sounded a little off in how she was speaking to me and didn't even acknowledge the text I sent her or apologize for not responding sooner. A minute into the call she ended up telling me that she was going out to dinner with a friend(Male) of hers from out of town on the day I wanted to take her out. She said this is someone she knew way back and they are going out also with her best friend and husband so this appears to be a double date. This was the reason she didn't respond back to me sooner. I was not expecting her to tell me this. I have so many emotions running threw my head right now. Needless to say I am very upset about this but didn't show this. I want to talk to her about this but I am running really hot right now and needed to take sometime to think before I took any action. Is this overreacting? I don't think so but maybe an outside perception can see something else as well. I appreciate any and all response!!

AZO..
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I agree with Mr. Tommy, however, I would try my hardest to sit her down one on one and tell her how you feel. From what you describe she is doing, it sounds like she has moved on without telling you :( But definitely pray about it first and listen to what He has to say! Not to sound mean or discouraging, but before my divorce, this behavior is what my now ex exhibited. I kept wondering why she was paying attention to her phone more than me and lo and behold, it was because a male co-worker caught her attention. My heart sunk and I felt as I had lost the war :( It took years for me to get over it :( I pray that things will get better for you!
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#25
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#25
dailybread said:
I agree with Mr. Tommy, however, I would try my hardest to sit her down one on one and tell her how you feel. From what you describe she is doing, it sounds like she has moved on without telling you :( But definitely pray about it first and listen to what He has to say! Not to sound mean or discouraging, but before my divorce, this behavior is what my now ex exhibited. I kept wondering why she was paying attention to her phone more than me and lo and behold, it was because a male co-worker caught her attention. My heart sunk and I felt as I had lost the war :( It took years for me to get over it :( I pray that things will get better for you!
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The cell phone got in the way too?

I resolve, if I get married again, me and my bride are getting rid of the smartphone, getting flip phones, or CB radios to communicate.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#26
May 23, 2009
16,442
5,391
113
#26
Tommy379 said:
The cell phone got in the way too?

I resolve, if I get married again, me and my bride are getting rid of the smartphone, getting flip phones, or CB radios to communicate.
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Better hurry.

I hear they're having a limited-time, 2-for-1 deal on cups with the string in between.

(Smoke signals could also work, but maybe that's not a good idea for inside the house.)
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#27
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#27
seoulsearch said:
Better hurry.

I hear they're having a limited-time, 2-for-1 deal on cups with the string in between.

(Smoke signals could also work, but maybe that's not a good idea for inside the house.)
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Who needs signals in the house..... when I pat my woman on the butt, she knows what I'm talking about.
 
dailybread

dailybread

Senior Member
#28
Jan 7, 2018
140
4
0
#28
Tommy379 said:
The cell phone got in the way too?

I resolve, if I get married again, me and my bride are getting rid of the smartphone, getting flip phones, or CB radios to communicate.
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Yes, she was always on Facebook. It wasn't 100% on her though. I thought that I'd retaliate by PlayStation 3 and that back fired on me.
 
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