Relationship advice.

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Kim82

Well-known member
Jun 17, 2018
665
573
93
#41
I must be abnormal 'cause I only went on one date before deciding that I wanted to marry my current (and last) wife. As you get older you reach a stage where you know what you want and decide to act on it rather that wasting precious months and years.
Im trying to understand why two people would go out on two great dates then one of them decides to end things, and not even make attempts at being friends, even tho he wants to be friends with her. Why does she keep staring at him?

Is it possible that she likes him, but she is giving him a test to see if he will chase after her?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
29,379
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#42
Im trying to understand why two people would go out on two great dates then one of them decides to end things, and not even make attempts at being friends, even tho he wants to be friends with her. Why does she keep staring at him?

Is it possible that she likes him, but she is giving him a test to see if he will chase after her?
Based on the posts I would say that she definitely interested in him as more than just a friend. He really needs to show more initiative and get the ball rolling. Personally, I really don't understand why guys settle with just being friends with women that really interest them. Sounds rather lame to me.
 

warplite

New member
Mar 26, 2019
7
1
3
#43
Based on the posts I would say that she definitely interested in him as more than just a friend. He really needs to show more initiative and get the ball rolling. Personally, I really don't understand why guys settle with just being friends with women that really interest them. Sounds rather lame to me.
This is the problem though. I still think it is a bit too early to initiate something. I still would like to get to know her as a friend first, but the conflict of interest would get very confusing.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
29,379
7,869
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#45
This is the problem though. I still think it is a bit too early to initiate something. I still would like to get to know her as a friend first, but the conflict of interest would get very confusing.
Not sure why you are being tentative about this if you truly find her attractive and as woman that holds your interest. If you don't make a move, sooner rather than later, she may then lose interest in you and set her sights elsewhere. Call her up and ask her for a date. Oh yeah, bring some flowers with you too when you come calling on her.
 
Aug 2, 2009
22,806
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#46
Based on the posts I would say that she definitely interested in him as more than just a friend. He really needs to show more initiative and get the ball rolling. Personally, I really don't understand why guys settle with just being friends with women that really interest them. Sounds rather lame to me.
I don't settle. I ask them out. And then they tell me they only like me as a friend... and then I'm like....



(NOTE - this is mostly just a joke... mostly. :sneaky:)
 
A

AuntieAnt

Guest
#47
Ya know, I always thought it would be a good idea for the older men in the church to teach the younger men how to identify and pursue a godly wife, how to establish a relationship with her, how to treat a woman, how to maintain a happy marriage, etc. Establish a guys only group, a camaraderie of Christian men who help and encourage each other in life and relationship issues. Men teaching men about women in a godly loving way. Not using sarcasm or stereotypical jokes or insulting innuendos, but true godly advice to help the young men find godly companions in this life.

And of course, by the same token, women only groups that help do that same thing for the females in the church.

In the old days (I mean waaaay olden days), families didn't move too far away from each other and communities were made up of families that remained in an area for generations. The men supported and helped the men, the women supported and helped the women, through every vital life situation imaginable, from generation to generation. But today, people leave the nest and move far away from their parents and siblings. There isn't that same family and community structure to support us anymore. That's where I think the church could help.

Too many people, especially young people, are lacking support and instruction in handling vital life issues, as is evident in this thread. Maybe one or two of you could start something like that in your church or community. What do you all think about that?
 

Kim82

Well-known member
Jun 17, 2018
665
573
93
#48
I really don't understand why guys settle with just being friends with women that really interest them. Sounds rather lame to me.
If the woman does not feel the same, then the man has to settle for friendship, or being an acquaintance.

If a man keeps pursuing a woman who is not interested in him, it won't necessarily make her change her mind. She may see the man as a nuisance, a stalker, or accuse him of sexual harassment.

Some women may change their mind when they see the man's determination. They may feel touched by the interest the man has in them.

All the man can do is keep an open mind. He may get success or he may get disappointment. Either way no one can force anyone to be with them. You just got to dust yourself off and keep it moving.
 
H

Hamarr

Guest
#49
Ya know, I always thought it would be a good idea for the older men in the church to teach the younger men how to identify and pursue a godly wife, how to establish a relationship with her, how to treat a woman, how to maintain a happy marriage, etc. Establish a guys only group, a camaraderie of Christian men who help and encourage each other in life and relationship issues. Men teaching men about women in a godly loving way. Not using sarcasm or stereotypical jokes or insulting innuendos, but true godly advice to help the young men find godly companions in this life.

And of course, by the same token, women only groups that help do that same thing for the females in the church.

In the old days (I mean waaaay olden days), families didn't move too far away from each other and communities were made up of families that remained in an area for generations. The men supported and helped the men, the women supported and helped the women, through every vital life situation imaginable, from generation to generation. But today, people leave the nest and move far away from their parents and siblings. There isn't that same family and community structure to support us anymore. That's where I think the church could help.

Too many people, especially young people, are lacking support and instruction in handling vital life issues, as is evident in this thread. Maybe one or two of you could start something like that in your church or community. What do you all think about that?

Agreed, it would be especially helpful for folks that grew up without role models. A lot of the advice given out, or messages preached are kind of useless without more direction. Like there are a lot of articles and sermons on manning up, but not much in the way of practical advice. At least in the church scene. I have found one blog that attempts to help with this, but you’ll find way more info outside the church where the goal is to sleep with women and not form long term relationships, generally.
 
Jun 14, 2016
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#50
Ya know, I always thought it would be a good idea for the older men in the church to teach the younger men how to identify and pursue a godly wife, how to establish a relationship with her, how to treat a woman, how to maintain a happy marriage, etc. Establish a guys only group, a camaraderie of Christian men who help and encourage each other in life and relationship issues. Men teaching men about women in a godly loving way. Not using sarcasm or stereotypical jokes or insulting innuendos, but true godly advice to help the young men find godly companions in this life.

And of course, by the same token, women only groups that help do that same thing for the females in the church.

In the old days (I mean waaaay olden days), families didn't move too far away from each other and communities were made up of families that remained in an area for generations. The men supported and helped the men, the women supported and helped the women, through every vital life situation imaginable, from generation to generation. But today, people leave the nest and move far away from their parents and siblings. There isn't that same family and community structure to support us anymore. That's where I think the church could help.

Too many people, especially young people, are lacking support and instruction in handling vital life issues, as is evident in this thread. Maybe one or two of you could start something like that in your church or community. What do you all think about that?
This would help me tremendously. I never knew how to really pursue a woman, and I’ve always been way too timid when it comes to females -.-
Well, looking back, I did take some risks that turned into relationships, but that was long ago.
My most recent relationship happened in a different kind of way and ended up not working out, unfortunately.
But I’m thinking things are moving along and I’m getting a better picture of what needs to happen as far as relationship and pursuit and my role as a man. I’ve got a few things to sort out personally first, and then, perhaps, if someone does catch my eye I can put myself out on the line. I really like that link you posted earlier, auntie. It was very insightful.
Fear of rejection robs you of potential successes. Risk must be taken.

Overall, the idea of teaching general life skills and passing on skill sets and wisdom acquired in life sounds like a great plan, especially since it is in this case rooted in Christ.
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
4,417
1,639
113
#51
Ya know, I always thought it would be a good idea for the older men in the church to teach the younger men how to identify and pursue a godly wife, how to establish a relationship with her, how to treat a woman, how to maintain a happy marriage, etc. Establish a guys only group, a camaraderie of Christian men who help and encourage each other in life and relationship issues. Men teaching men about women in a godly loving way. Not using sarcasm or stereotypical jokes or insulting innuendos, but true godly advice to help the young men find godly companions in this life.

And of course, by the same token, women only groups that help do that same thing for the females in the church.

In the old days (I mean waaaay olden days), families didn't move too far away from each other and communities were made up of families that remained in an area for generations. The men supported and helped the men, the women supported and helped the women, through every vital life situation imaginable, from generation to generation. But today, people leave the nest and move far away from their parents and siblings. There isn't that same family and community structure to support us anymore. That's where I think the church could help.

Too many people, especially young people, are lacking support and instruction in handling vital life issues, as is evident in this thread. Maybe one or two of you could start something like that in your church or community. What do you all think about that?
Most of the Baptist churches I've been to have groups like you mentioned.