Saying “I Love You” via text or face to face?

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Is texting “I love you” for the first time to your partner appropriate?


  • Total voters
    16

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,454
6,554
113
#1
I was listening to our local news tonight and they were talking about a study that was conducted on 16-25 year olds, and how they go about expressing their feelings towards their bfs/gfs via texting on their mobiles.

The study showed that 60% of those who were surveyed (I think there were 100) admittedly said that they have texted their bf or gf “I Love You” for the first time via mobile.

Do you think that saying that type of expression or feeling should be done face to face?

Are we living in a society that accepts the usage of technology to dominate the “old school” way of expressing our thoughts/feelings to people up front.

Do you find texting to be acceptable when you’re in a intense conversation with someone? Does it get your point across?

Interested to know whether this form of behaviour, especially around the Youth is different (or not), with other countries around the world.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,146
113
#4
I love you, doesn't count, until I look you in the eyes, and kiss your sweet lips.
 

Jewel5712

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,268
113
#5
I was listening to our local news tonight and they were talking about a study that was conducted on 16-25 year olds, and how they go about expressing their feelings towards their bfs/gfs via texting on their mobiles.

The study showed that 60% of those who were surveyed (I think there were 100) admittedly said that they have texted their bf or gf “I Love You” for the first time via mobile.

Do you think that saying that type of expression or feeling should be done face to face?

Are we living in a society that accepts the usage of technology to dominate the “old school” way of expressing our thoughts/feelings to people up front.

Do you find texting to be acceptable when you’re in a intense conversation with someone? Does it get your point across?

Interested to know whether this form of behaviour, especially around the Youth is different (or not), with other countries around the world.
Soon itll be standing at the alter facing each other..pulling out your phone and texting each other marriage vows which...wouldnt be that bad for some marriage because you can always "delete conversation" and pretend it was never said..cheaper than divorce lawyer :/
 

Jewel5712

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,268
113
#6
Text should be used for casual comment..things you want to text someone when you forgot something on a grocery list..or thoughts of encouragement..love..thinking bout you...reminders etc but NEVER intimate conversations..disagreements etc..just wrong..

And even if you have a long distance relationship you can always skype or facetime on facebook..to see and hear someone..you know..REAL conversation..NO text..
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
17,124
4,205
113
#7
Text messages for very important things add a layer of remoteness. It is a cushion... in case the person is rejected, it won't be quite as bad.

A young man at our church broke up with his girlfriend by text message. Multiple people expressed dismay and disapproval about this. I understand why he did it, but it seemed very rude to the lady.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,146
113
#8
Text messages for very important things add a layer of remoteness. It is a cushion... in case the person is rejected, it won't be quite as bad.

A young man at our church broke up with his girlfriend by text message. Multiple people expressed dismay and disapproval about this. I understand why he did it, but it seemed very rude to the lady.
How could you, Lynx?
 

Jewel5712

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,268
113
#9
Text messages for very important things add a layer of remoteness. It is a cushion... in case the person is rejected, it won't be quite as bad.

A young man at our church broke up with his girlfriend by text message. Multiple people expressed dismay and disapproval about this. I understand why he did it, but it seemed very rude to the lady.
Ive had that too..broken up with via trxt..to me its cowardly and offensive..good thing he wasnt asking for sex..i couldve texted him and see if that sufficed :(
 
May 12, 2016
443
365
63
#12
I am watching this very thang unfold with my eldest son. He is 25 now married. They had some ups and downs. His first love and college sweetheart. Whom he married. Both of them have done stupid things via text message. I feel it is doing away with the human "touch". And it is a poor way of self expression. Half the time when my ex used to text me. I could not hear, see, or feel any expression. I hated it. Still do.

Just to send a quick "hi, how are you" or "I'm on my way" something like that is fine for texts. Though honestly takes less time to hit their number in contacts than to text the message. :unsure:. (Food for thought) I feel we as a Society are loosing our humanity.

Yes, how is it different from being online? Sure I met new folks online and develops fellowship with some. But when it is a good fellowship and we connect. We start talking via phone and meet personally if possible. In fact met a brand new friend yesterday, that I met in one of my FB groups. Come to find out we lived in the same town and I met her personally. We had a great connection, I was invited to a local bible study she was in, and met 15 other new friends in my town I didn't know before yesterday. Technology should only be used as a tool. Just like a hammer or drill. A means to get something accomplished. But should never ever take the place of our God given ability to personally communicate and express feeling, connecting. We are social characters. (Most) and most desire human contact. You can't get that from a text. And it does cause communication conflict/ misunderstanding. All the smiley faces ( what ever they are called) was designed to alleviate some confusion and miscommunication. Emotional expression. But honestly does it? Would you not much rather look into someone's eyes and know from that look what expression is speaking? Or hear a voice and hear in their tone are they really laughing and happy or feeding you a load of bull? Maybe I'm old fashion, but I prefer the human touch, not a machines.
 

TamLynn

A heart at rest
Nov 27, 2014
818
835
93
#13
Saying it the first time in person is definately preferable. I tell my SO I love him via text sometimes but I didn't do this until it had been spoken face to face.
I think hearing you're loved is nice anytime though. :)
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#14
All these people who haven't been young in a long time trying to answer a question that's most likely to affect younger people and their modern culture.
People, especially people that are no longer young, love to put love in a box and determine for others what love is and isn't.
I think for younger people the issue is less of what manner they use to express love and more of do they truly understand what love is? I imagine most confuse infatuation with love (I certainly have). So if they are not solid on what love actually is then what difference does it make the method they choose to express it?
I can think of a time someone first told me they loved me in text. It didn't diminish anything for me. If they love you enough to no longer want to hold back and express that love then I'm not going to criticize, minimize or reject it because it wasnt delivered according to the rules I created on how it "should" be done.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
17,124
4,205
113
#15
Yes Ugly there is that.

Also there is the ever-changing nature of technology itself. These days I very rarely send a real text message. I have defaulted mostly to audio clips, as they are easier, faster and a lot of wordless context is carried in vocal expression. Video clips are also attachable to text messages, although I don't use those nearly as much.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
34,073
11,758
113
66
Tennessee
#16
I told Darlene that I loved her the first time in an actual letter. She thought that it was most romantic. I proposed to her in song in my Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band thread. She said yes and that it was an awesome way to propose.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
34,073
11,758
113
66
Tennessee
#18
Ive had that too..broken up with via trxt..to me its cowardly and offensive..good thing he wasnt asking for sex..i couldve texted him and see if that sufficed :(
You are right, breaking up with a text is a cowardly act. I don't think that I have sent over 10 texts in my entire life. To me texts seem a bit cold and impersonal as if the person that sent one didn't want to exert a lot of energy or investment in time. Not the least bit impressed with a text.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
34,073
11,758
113
66
Tennessee
#20
Text messages for very important things add a layer of remoteness. It is a cushion... in case the person is rejected, it won't be quite as bad.

A young man at our church broke up with his girlfriend by text message. Multiple people expressed dismay and disapproval about this. I understand why he did it, but it seemed very rude to the lady.
It was absolutely rude and cowardly. Guy has no backbone apparently.