Scientists say you don’t grow up until your 30s

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H

Hamarr

Guest
#21
#21
I wonder how much of this is being able to put off responsibility we wouldn’t have had a few generations back. Getting married and starting a family later on and all that. I guess prolonged adolescence from having more options.

Maybe coming from broken homes and not having solid examples to grow up around also helps with not maturing? Like in my home there wasn’t really a good example of a well adjusted adult to follow, especially as an example for a young man.

And how much of this is feeling like not being an adult versus actually being one. I definitely feel more like a kid more than I ever have. I am probably the most responsible I have ever been but find myself enjoying life a lot more than I used to. I remember feeling like a burnt out middle age guy at 18. Lol.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#22
May 23, 2009
16,481
5,422
113
#22
Hamarr said:
I wonder how much of this is being able to put off responsibility we wouldn’t have had a few generations back. Getting married and starting a family later on and all that. I guess prolonged adolescence from having more options.

Maybe coming from broken homes and not having solid examples to grow up around also helps with not maturing? Like in my home there wasn’t really a good example of a well adjusted adult to follow, especially as an example for a young man.

And how much of this is feeling like not being an adult versus actually being one. I definitely feel more like a kid more than I ever have. I am probably the most responsible I have ever been but find myself enjoying life a lot more than I used to. I remember feeling like a burnt out middle age guy at 18. Lol.
Click to expand...
This is so true!!!

I hope the kid in me never dies. When I was young, my Mom and I used to "talk" to each other through a few of my favorite stuffed animals. It doesn't matter that I'm in my 40's now--I still do that today. I'll go over to their house and take a stuffed "friend" with me. My Mom will be doing her Bible study and then suddenly have some critter leaning over her shoulder asking, "When are we eating?"; "Is there going to be pie?"; "Hey, are you going to eat that? Because if you don't, I know I will."

Yes, it's about as childish as you can get but it still makes my Mom laugh, so I keep doing it. A day will come when she isn't there or might not remember who I am, so I want to get in all the play I can while she's here.

Sometimes I use an avatar of a lighted tree with stuffed critters sitting on the branches, which are actually my current rotation of little friends. I used to be in a church that had some heavily legalistic elders who insisted that we should never have images of "creatures of the night" around us (such as owls), because they associated those animals with darkness, and therefore, the devil. (A good friend pointed out that cats are also nocturnal, and plenty of Christians own cats.)

Those stuffed owls are not only a fun way to talk to my Mom (the other day, one of them noticed she has a few threads loose and told my Mom that she needs to see a derma-t-"owl"-o-gist right away), but they are also a reminder to test the spirits and not fall prey to legalism.

One of the best compliments I ever received was when a few little ones in my family told their parents, "Auntie Seoul sure likes to play! (I was crawling through tunnels and sitting in their "rocket ship.") Is she a grown-up like you, or a kid like us?"

I loved the fact that they couldn't tell, and I hope I never lose that--no matter how old I get or how "grown-up" I supposedly become.
 
H

Hamarr

Guest
#23
#23
This is only tagentially related, but I was thinking while reading your post about how every time I see my dog's picture on my post I like to imagine him sitting at the keyboard typing it up.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#24
#24
Hamarr said:
I wonder how much of this is being able to put off responsibility we wouldn’t have had a few generations back. Getting married and starting a family later on and all that. I guess prolonged adolescence from having more options.

Maybe coming from broken homes and not having solid examples to grow up around also helps with not maturing? Like in my home there wasn’t really a good example of a well adjusted adult to follow, especially as an example for a young man.

And how much of this is feeling like not being an adult versus actually being one. I definitely feel more like a kid more than I ever have. I am probably the most responsible I have ever been but find myself enjoying life a lot more than I used to. I remember feeling like a burnt out middle age guy at 18. Lol.
Click to expand...

Maybe I’m getting old, but it feels like the most recent generations
have a sense of entitlement over here in the UK.

Entitled to benefits, entitled to enter the X Factor and earn billions
even if they sing badly. Entitled to do nothing but play the lottery
every week and hopefully win the big prize.

In my mum’s and her mum’s generation it was considered shameful to
not work and rely on handouts. Now it’s swung the other way where
everyone is entitled to benefits.

Not that I’m against those in genuine need but it does feel like many
aspire to grow up get onto benefits and get onto the social housing ladder
rent free, buy wacky backy, get high and booze the weekends away.
Whereas when I was at school it was stressed how important it was
to be able to support yourself and your family, save up etc.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#25
Jun 30, 2015
25,467
13,787
113
#25
As I'm past 40, I guess I missed my opportunity.


Wheeeeeee!!!
 
Didymous

Didymous

Senior Member
#26
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
2,101
113
#26
I did my adultin' when I was a child, so now i'm like a little kid!
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#27
Aug 13, 2014
27,345
9,366
113
#27
First thought: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional."

Second thought: "If I grow up, does that mean I have to stop talking baby talk to my dog while I scratch behind his ears?"

Obligatory xkcd reference:



1: That grocery cart is full of Air-Heads (tm).
2: I will probably die at 42 of what the Air-Heads spokesman will call "Probably natural causes."
 
Didymous

Didymous

Senior Member
#28
Feb 22, 2018
5,047
2,101
113
#28
seoulsearch said:
This is so true!!!

I hope the kid in me never dies. When I was young, my Mom and I used to "talk" to each other through a few of my favorite stuffed animals. It doesn't matter that I'm in my 40's now--I still do that today. I'll go over to their house and take a stuffed "friend" with me. My Mom will be doing her Bible study and then suddenly have some critter leaning over her shoulder asking, "When are we eating?"; "Is there going to be pie?"; "Hey, are you going to eat that? Because if you don't, I know I will."

Yes, it's about as childish as you can get but it still makes my Mom laugh, so I keep doing it. A day will come when she isn't there or might not remember who I am, so I want to get in all the play I can while she's here.

Sometimes I use an avatar of a lighted tree with stuffed critters sitting on the branches, which are actually my current rotation of little friends. I used to be in a church that had some heavily legalistic elders who insisted that we should never have images of "creatures of the night" around us (such as owls), because they associated those animals with darkness, and therefore, the devil. (A good friend pointed out that cats are also nocturnal, and plenty of Christians own cats.)

Those stuffed owls are not only a fun way to talk to my Mom (the other day, one of them noticed she has a few threads loose and told my Mom that she needs to see a derma-t-"owl"-o-gist right away), but they are also a reminder to test the spirits and not fall prey to legalism.

One of the best compliments I ever received was when a few little ones in my family told their parents, "Auntie Seoul sure likes to play! (I was crawling through tunnels and sitting in their "rocket ship.") Is she a grown-up like you, or a kid like us?"

I loved the fact that they couldn't tell, and I hope I never lose that--no matter how old I get or how "grown-up" I supposedly become.
Click to expand...

That's awesome!
 
Solemateleft

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
#29
Jun 25, 2017
13,840
4,015
113
#29
Miri said:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-47622059


This begs the question, at what age do
you think you became a grown up,
Or at what age do you expect to be a grown up.

Just for the record you can marry in the UK at 18, legally drink alcohol outside the home at 18. Drive at 18.

But you can leave home and get a job at 16.

If brains don’t fully develope until around 30, then it explains a lot!
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I saw this on the local news 'Like it or Not' segment...
With a 17 year old soon to be 18 year old very decisive son - the timing was fantastic...
The news journalists who discussed this all rationalized with the fact that they/we all can concede lots of maturing took place between the years of 18 to 30 in our adult lives...
I do agree with @cinder for a lot of the contributing factors and cultural variables that should be reasonably accounted for.
I can definitely acknowledge lots of emotional maturing during that period, and surprisingly have found another level of spiritual and maturing well beyond my 30s...
 
Mel85

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
#32
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,897
113
#32
I will probably never grow up, regardless my age. I know some millennials who are more mature than me.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#33
Aug 13, 2014
27,345
9,366
113
#33
I have to disagree with the part about people growing up when they hit their 30's. I know some people in their 50's and 60's who haven't grown up yet.
 
L

LadyInWaiting

Guest
#34
#34
I'm 29 and think I'm actually much older in some ways. Yesterday I was at the dentist's office and they had the radio on super loud! Don't get me wrong, I enjoy music especially soft simple music...but I can't hear music that is extremely loud. It's annoying and I stay away from places that I know have loud music. Quietness is soothing and underrated. How am I supposed to talk to Jesus throughout my day if all the places have the radio on?

 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#35
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
113
#35
A lot of today’s music is just plain awful.

There. I said it. Lol
 
Solemateleft

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
#36
Jun 25, 2017
13,840
4,015
113
#36
Mel85 said:
I will probably never grow up, regardless my age. I know some millennials who are more mature than me.
Click to expand...
This is like one of those funny videos on ridiculousness that appear to be funny, but the reality is that someone just got seriously injured... So behind gramma, is a toddler standing in front of an immobile object/bench... My imagination tells me that he was not a happy camper as a result of gramma's fall...
 
M

Miri

Guest
#38
#38
melita916 said:
A lot of today’s music is just plain awful.

There. I said it. Lol
Click to expand...

Three signs of being a grown up.
1) you think the current music is awful
2) you prefer tea or coffee, instead of fizzy (soda) pop.
3) you scowl at giggling silly teens on the bus, whereas one you would have
joined in.
 
P

Poinsetta

Well-known member
#39
Nov 24, 2018
10,646
6,217
113
34
#39
Miri said:
Three signs of being a grown up.
1) you think the current music is awful
2) you prefer tea or coffee, instead of fizzy (soda) pop.
3) you scowl at giggling silly teens on the bus, whereas one you would have
joined in.
Click to expand...
I have not grown up. 😐 i’m a child at heart. ❤️
 
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