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Hey Shouryu, thanks for the elbow jab.
That reminds me of the time I elbowed a woman beside me in the pew at church as a non-verbal form of flirting. Unfortunately I didn't realize my own strength and I spilled her mocha latte and bruised two of her ribs. I told her I'd visit her in the hospital, but then I got too busy.
That reminds me of the time I elbowed a woman beside me in the pew at church as a non-verbal form of flirting. Unfortunately I didn't realize my own strength and I spilled her mocha latte and bruised two of her ribs. I told her I'd visit her in the hospital, but then I got too busy.
I left some things out..
she knew the man and his wife already before the wife passed..
the pastor's wife was best friends with this wife that she loved and also knew this girl that she favored
had gone through losing a first husband through death and then being walked out on by a man who used to serve in our church on the praise team..and began practicing sin and becoming involved in things he should not have.
She stayed separated for 2 years and I am not sure why because she was not hoping for reconciliation from what she told me but maybe she was content in being alone and didn't have a need to divorce at that time? and he wouldn't do it for some reason..which I found odd and thought maybe they might reconcile one day perhaps.
I think she is the one who initiated talking to the pastor's wife about wanting to finalize the divorce so she could move on and possibly meet someone..so that is when the pastor's wife suggested it..
She had begun to be involved in a class on finances the widower taught and I believe she already had been somewhat interested because when she thought I was, she didn't like it (this was the only negative I can find in this whole story actually)... I know that she did counsel with the pastor's wife and the Ruth thing, being placed in front of him could have been her own idea with their blessing..I am not sure how that played out and I apologize for wording as if I knew for sure..that is my fault.. I assumed this but didn't know until I just reread this that I had actually written it :/
I just know once she attended the classes she had made a remark to me about him and it made me believe she was "after him".. a couple of weeks later, she was going out with our assoc pastors alot..and unbeknownst to me until the day they sat in church together for the very first time and held hands (this was the first any of us had seen them together) none of us knew that they had been meeting together with those pastors outside of church.
Apparently the widower went to the assoc pastors for counsel when he felt a liking for this girl.. (lady) and wanted to pursue her but in "order" as he is an elder in the church.
that was why the meetings outside of church at restaurants.so they could get to know one another in the company of prayerful accountability partners that they chose..
it's not as awful as my short message sounds.. though I was hurt at first, I am over it now and they are so very happy together..
it's not as appalling as it seems.. put yourself in the place of the widower..and reread this story I just wrote and see if maybe it would sound more appealing rather than appalling to you?
again I apologize for my QUICK story and the shortsightedness I showed from not putting in other details.. it was not my intention to do that..I just didn't think it out.
she knew the man and his wife already before the wife passed..
the pastor's wife was best friends with this wife that she loved and also knew this girl that she favored
had gone through losing a first husband through death and then being walked out on by a man who used to serve in our church on the praise team..and began practicing sin and becoming involved in things he should not have.
She stayed separated for 2 years and I am not sure why because she was not hoping for reconciliation from what she told me but maybe she was content in being alone and didn't have a need to divorce at that time? and he wouldn't do it for some reason..which I found odd and thought maybe they might reconcile one day perhaps.
I think she is the one who initiated talking to the pastor's wife about wanting to finalize the divorce so she could move on and possibly meet someone..so that is when the pastor's wife suggested it..
She had begun to be involved in a class on finances the widower taught and I believe she already had been somewhat interested because when she thought I was, she didn't like it (this was the only negative I can find in this whole story actually)... I know that she did counsel with the pastor's wife and the Ruth thing, being placed in front of him could have been her own idea with their blessing..I am not sure how that played out and I apologize for wording as if I knew for sure..that is my fault.. I assumed this but didn't know until I just reread this that I had actually written it :/
I just know once she attended the classes she had made a remark to me about him and it made me believe she was "after him".. a couple of weeks later, she was going out with our assoc pastors alot..and unbeknownst to me until the day they sat in church together for the very first time and held hands (this was the first any of us had seen them together) none of us knew that they had been meeting together with those pastors outside of church.
Apparently the widower went to the assoc pastors for counsel when he felt a liking for this girl.. (lady) and wanted to pursue her but in "order" as he is an elder in the church.
that was why the meetings outside of church at restaurants.so they could get to know one another in the company of prayerful accountability partners that they chose..
it's not as awful as my short message sounds.. though I was hurt at first, I am over it now and they are so very happy together..
it's not as appalling as it seems.. put yourself in the place of the widower..and reread this story I just wrote and see if maybe it would sound more appealing rather than appalling to you?
again I apologize for my QUICK story and the shortsightedness I showed from not putting in other details.. it was not my intention to do that..I just didn't think it out.
I'm sure it was overblown in my mind.
The part where the pastor and his wife "chose the one they felt was the best
one", yeah , I still think that's pretty messed up, but I don't know the situation.
J
I think it's important for the church to have a singles ministry, no necessarily for matching people up but for friendships to grow and you never know where that might lead. I see a lot of churches catering for kids, youth and families but the single ones get left out and there seems to be more activities in the world than church which I believe is dangerous because it is a place for the singles to go but not necessarily be influenced in the right way. There is a real hole in most churches with no singles ministry in Australia and it can lead to loneliness and depression too because a lot of the churches are busy with there families but we can be forgotten about. it's important for us to be proactive and if your church doesn't want to have singles events you can do it outside and connect with people in your region. I have just connected with one near me and it is a true blessing to meet other people in the same boat who knows where it will lead. fun, friendship...............
C
great post!! and so true.
We have a huge church here called Lakewood and while I am not too keen on it..they do have a large singles community that some of us at my church want to try out..
not to find a mate so much as to just hang out with other singles..
like you said, the church gets caught up in youth and their families
and us singles get left out.
My family is in California.. the church and my sons (who don''t live right near me)
are all I have here..
and so at Thanksgiving and Christmas I have to either wait for an invite or stay home.
I do have a standing invitation from an old friend of mine and her live in boyfriend ....I do hang out with her and her family at New Years every year tho..
but last Christmas I did have one of my sons over.. I cooked a meal and he brought his friends (one was drunk lol) so that was it on a "Family Dinner"
Anyway I agree..the singles should have their own group too and get together for dinners and just ministering to one another and fellowshipping..
We have recently tried it but only one man showed up and it was all women..so it turned into a ladies group (we have alot of those
lolI am no longer single..I have decided!
I am just a female christian!
lol
C
Isn't it kind of like when a friend sets up two friends on a date?
I don't think anyone would think thats' strange..
I am not arguing with you.. however, I do think that many of us ladies
could possibly have been a good fit for him (well in hindsight , not me..but others maybe)
but you know ...these people knew them both and happened to be in leadership..
so.. voila!
they do fit great together..
she laughs at all his continual joking..
and he adores her..they are both professionals, he is in banking and finance, she is in real estate..
they both are into politics (at least I think she is)
and she is reserved ALOT so I guess that helps with the political banking image..
being with me would have been more like "pretty woman"
lolseriously!! (her childlikeness and naivety )
and I think it does help they were semi friends before his wife's death.
he has a familiarity with her and a comfortability with her
that is apparent when they are together.
many were shocked they got together mainly cause no one knew they had
even dated at all..until they got serious and sat together that one night..
but really if you think about it..hurt feelings and rejected women aside,
it's not unlike blind dates
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