Hi all,
I'm new to this forum. I'm in my mid 30s, i've never been married, and am very, very lonely. I love the Lord with all of my heart, but I'm at a difficult place in my life and I'm feeling lost.
I've been in 2 relationships my entire life, and am generally a shy/reserved lady. I recently moved to a very small town in CT to be closer to my boyfriend of nearly 3 years. But through lots of prayer and talking to the Lord, I knew that the Lord was telling me to let Him go. And so, I did. But now, I'm in this new small city, I know no one, and I feel terribly lonely. My days consist of going to work, coming home, feeding my cats, going to sleep, and then starting this same process all over again.
My family is in another state and I haven't lived in my home state since I was 18.
I feel as though my life is at a standstill right now, and I feel lost. I'm not getting any younger and my recent hopes and dreams of getting married and having children have been shattered into pieces. I love the Lord with all of my heart...I truly do. But I"m lonely. I feel lost. I feel isolated.
I want so much to marry a man who loves and worships Christ, and to raise children who will do the same. I'm trying hard not to compare myself to all of my friends or coworkers, but it's so hard when all I come to every night are my 4 white walls.
Are there any other single ladies out there in a similar situation?
Any prayers and or advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated.
As others have pointed out, I'm not a lady, and am sorry to add to the overwhelmingly male-tilted response ratios. Nonetheless, a few things I'd like to say, if you'll hear them:
I can relate, in essence, to your situation. I, too, have laid things on the altar when God has told or prompted me to. I've also failed and still struggle with other things He's asked me to sacrifice, but I'm unfortunately still choosing to cling to.
I want to thank and applaud you in listening to God, despite the difficulty or cost. Sometimes it really seems like suffering to listen, trust, obey, and the like...but I know that it's always for the best (even when we can't see it). God is tirelessly working for our good/betterment, and the good/betterment of/in the world. He also says that what we gain from Him is exponentially greater than what we lose in giving everything to Him. Riches from our rags, as it were...not due to those rags or ourselves, but due to God and our surrender to Him.
Now, when it comes to the loneliness and isolation, the constant passing of time, and sinking reality of our lives and situations... I have been (and am still in many ways) there. From my own experience, I can say it helped to go back home for a while. It certainly wasn't a cure or solvent for everything, but being around my loving family and closest friends has helped me move from what was like a desperate, desert place into something like prairie. There are still difficulties and some desperation, but at least the place I'm in now has food and water and some rain and nice weather too (as opposed to constantly feeling like you're dying or dead already).
God also plays a large part in that. He took the empty, erosive feeling of loneliness that caused me to cry myself to sleep many nights. Years ago I cried out to him from that place that I could no longer live a life like that, and He filled that hole in me with Himself. I now have a constant sense of His presence (in varying strengths), because I still know and feel where that hole is... When I focus on it now, though, He's there, instead of the emptiness.
That doesn't mean that I never feel lonesome or desirous of a lover/friend/family, but with Him and my friend and family and my church family...life feels a lot better than it did when I was physically isolated all the time (except at work or service). So, while I'd prayerfully consider and take with a grain of salt what I'm about to say, maybe you too would find it helpful to be in a place where you are being watered.
It's not necessarily the answer you may be looking for or something you want to hear, but it helped and is still helping me. I just wanted to let you know. I, and many other, are inconsistently here to speak with if you'd like, and I pray that God continues to help, grow, water, teach, and strengthen you as I'm sure He has already (and know He has for me).
