Single Men It's Time to Step Up!

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Mar 22, 2013
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Indiana
here is the deal, when it comes to a "man stepping up" its a huge gamble. seriously better odds are in the casino. cause when the marriage goes bad the guy is going to lose. Because in today's society the female can do no wrong in the eyes of the courts. She can cheat on him and the courts say its the mans fault, she can be violent with him, again the courts will say its the mans fault. so when it comes to the eventual divorce who is the one that ends up losing the man.

Sorry. what little I have I want to keep I don't need some female to legally steal it from me nor legally steal any money I have so on and so on.

marriage. to much risk the Vegas casino or the stock market is better gambling, at least with the market or casino I have somewhat fair odds.
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
The problem; however, is that many studies come to the wrong primary conclusion. Steeped in political correctness, and often prepared by feminists, one will conclude that porn is the primary driver while another concludes that the economy is the primary driver of why young men are increasingly withdrawing from marriage.
Gotta take what Grace said into account too. It's not just men withdrawing, it's women too. Takes two to do that particular tango anyways. I know that's true, I've lived in states all over the country and there's tons of women around that are not interested in marriage period. It's not just guys that get screwed in a bad marriage, it's not like all men are angels and women don't ever suffer in a divorce. Plenty of innocent victims who suffered in a divorce on both sides of the fence. I don't think anybody but the most heartless gold diggers (They admittedly exist but it's a very small percentage of people) marries just so they can divorce a couple years later and rob the other person blind. Most people Marry because at the time, they feel that they want to spend the rest of their life with the other person. People in this day and age just tend to get ugly when they are having a hard time with something, marriage especially.

I was talking to an older couple that have been happily married for over 30 years recently. I asked them why they think so many marriages fail today. They said "They just don't work at it, they aren't willing to". That's the biggest reason marriages fail I think, both people have to work at it.

A woman can also do everything right and get completely screwed just as much as a man. Granted there is a court bias concerning gender but it's entirely beatable (It's totally possible for a man to win in court, if he is pre-emptively transferring funds and signing stuff over to friends for safe keeping....I've seen it happen. They can't take it if it's not yours, if you have all the money and you withdraw it from the joint account, how is she going to afford a lawyer capable of defending her against a big wig lawyer you just hired?) Innocent people get emotionally and financially crushed on both sides of a divorce all the time. It's a risky endeavor for either gender if you pick the wrong person, it's not just a male problem.
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
It's really counterproductive to mock me 1still_waters for stating that I am familiar with what constitutes a scholarly source and the bodies that produce them for the simple fact is that I do and am. This; however, does not extrapolate to me having warranted in this discussion that every single piece of information I share is scholarly. I never did that. No one does that.

That's something you've created in your own mind and are projecting at me as if I did that.

I stated that my level of familiarity with bodies that produce scholarly sources which are then cited was second nature because I've worked with them for a long time and sometimes forget to differentiate in my posts what is a scholarly source and what is not because I don't always remember that not everyone understands how to qualify them and properly interpret what I'm communicating.

Furthermore, while the difference between a scholarly source and someone's personal work and opinion matters; it doesn't mean that non-scholarly sources can't be true and never add value to a discussion. They often do and that's why they are shared so often. Interjecting someone's non-scholarly work and opinion (as I did with Dalrock's blog articles) opens up new areas to discuss. Specifically, I introduced three concepts from those blog articles (e.g. the aging female "strip-miner", how the longevity of courtship has changed and the effects it's now having on marriage statistics, and something of the legal transition from what can be called a traditional paternal family model to what can be called a maternal child support model we now observe).

It's wrong of you to misrepresent what I said in the way that you are. I never warranted every piece of information that I share as scholarly and it's not right of you to falsely assert that I did. Furthermore, it would be unreasonable for you to expect that anyone would warrant that in an informal discussion. Some things that are shared will be scholarly (these include primary sources and secondary sources that reference primary sources) and used as empirical support for arguments and some will be non-scholarly and used for a variety of purposes to broaden the discussion, offer another viewpoint, influence the reader, demonstrate someone's work that hasn't been peer-reviewed and so while unscholarly might be accurate and very important to the discussion, etc...

Some of the things I shared have been scholarly and some have not been scholarly. This is normal in informal discussions and can cause confusion with readers as has occurred with you and why I took the time to begin explaining to you how it works in post #425. Let's review that post again:

"1Still_Waters, there are primary and secondary sources. If I share a Psychology Today article, that's a secondary source. Look deeper and you'll see that the article itself is citing primary sources. For example, in that article I shared, the secondary source names the following primary sources in support of their piece:

1. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Center for Health Statistics
2. U.S. Bureau of the Census
3. a study by D. Cornell (et al.), in Behavioral Sciences and the Law
4. a report in Criminal Justice & Behavior
5. a study by the Charles F. Kettering Foundation
6. Center for Disease Control
7. study published in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology
8. a Congressional Research Service Report

What you've done is make the mistake of ignoring all of the primary scholarly sources used by secondary sources. Furthermore, you're not recognizing that national and even regional publications have editorial staffs that check every article for errors submitted to them for publication. This isn't to say that errors don't sometimes get through but these articles are checked by editors for accuracy who maintain a list of contracted reputable experts that they call to verify information with. Of course; this wouldn't apply to blogs, personal websites, etc...

You also omitted scholarly primary sources and studies that I linked directly to and pulled information directly from in your response such as Pew Research and universities."

All true my friend. If a high school student writes a competent article properly referencing primary sources to support their argument and submits it for publication to a national magazine that like it and opts for publication, it will be reviewed by editorial staff (and their panel of experts) for correctness and if it is found that the primary sources are fraudulent or materially misused in support of the author's argument then the editors will either reject the article entirely or if they believe it still has merit will send it back to be properly rewritten. Your obsession with attacking people instead of arguments is classic ad hominem and reveals that you don't know how publishing, research and statistics, etc... works.

I also sense an anti-intellectual bias at work in your replies. I mean no offense my friend, but this mess you wrote is as ridiculous as the language you chose to communicate it (e.g. unnecessary mocking). Drop the ad hominem (responding to arguments by attacking people rather than engaging the content of their arguments) and if you have an argument with respect to the topic; we'd all like to hear it.

P.S. Don't be offended if I stop bothering to reply to this entire 'I don't like the message so let's shoot the messenger' line past a certain point. Peace.


It's just that you've presented things as if the rigors of academia, research, and presentation of substantive data is so familiar it comes without trying. So we see that, and expect your sources to be from weighty, serious minded, purely high grade academic sources. But then a resource you present is clicked on, and we discover like in this instance. Link-->http://christianchat.com/christian-...ngle-men-its-time-step-up-16.html#post1822111 Which links to this-->https://www.nolanchart.com/article2...al-abuse-allegations-in-custody-disputes-html The source is written by Jake Morphonios, a man with a two year community college education, two years at some online university Link, a raging 911 Truther, and the author of a far out there conspiracy theory blog Link. I don't know if writers with two years of community college, two years at an online university, with a passion for 911 Truth, qualify as scholarly, or empirical sources of truth in academia. So when I saw someone with your credentials....ie.. Well I was surprised to see that type of source referenced. I was expecting something weightier. Then there was further surprise in this post from you. http://christianchat.com/christian-...ingle-men-its-time-step-up-7.html#post1812645 You referenced these two sources. The Sexodus, Part 1: The Men Giving Up On Women And Checking Out Of Society - Breitbart The Sexodus, Part 2: Dishonest Feminist Panics Leave Male Sexuality In Crisis - Breitbart The author? Milo Yiannopoulos, a college dropout who founded a tabloid. Milo Yiannopoulos - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia So I noticed your familiarity with academia, scholarly work, etc., then contrasted that with your use of a 911 Truther with two years community college, two years online college, and thought you would use something with more academic heft. I'm sure this source wouldn't fly in academia. College dropout Milo and his tabloid probably wouldn't fly either.
 
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1still_waters

Guest
'I don't like the message so let's shoot the messenger' line past a certain point. Peace.
I really think this is more complicated than a simple case of shooting the messenger because the message isn't liked.

My replies to you in this thread were concerning a situation where someone called your sources into question.

I was addressing the sources you used up until the time this user addressed you.
I created a list of sources you used before that person questioned you. Link
That list does not have any direct link references to Pew.

You also omitted scholarly primary sources and studies that I linked directly to and pulled information directly from in your response such as Pew Research and universities."
Yes you used Pew later, (I think.) but that isn't germane to the topic, because the user was addressing your sources at that point.

Anyways, when the user raised issue with your sources, you said.

I provided exactly the right statistics and studies to support my statements.
I examined those linked to sources up to that point, and showed that most weren't from people with much academic heft.
You want to somehow separate the author using the source, from the source they cite.
I don't think you can do that, because an author with little credibility can use a source wrongly.

To address your use of sources with no academic heft you said...

for arguments and some will be non-scholarly and used for a variety of purposes to broaden the discussion, offer another viewpoint, influence the reader, demonstrate someone's work that hasn't been peer-reviewed and so while unscholarly might be accurate and very important to the discussion, etc...
That's totally fine to do, but by saying that, you in essence backpedal from

I provided exactly the right statistics and studies to support my statements.
You've gone from saying 'I gave all these correct stats, and studies' to, 'I gave food for thought to make you think'.
Those are two totally different things.

If someone is going to question your sources, and you reply back with
I provided exactly the right statistics and studies to support my statements.
Then expect someone to examine your sources, and please don't interpret questioning the writer's credibility as some form of "shooting the messenger". You can't separate a writer's credibility from the sources they cite, because writer's can use sources wrongly. As I'm sure you'd agree on this article from Psychology Today that says liberals are smarter than conservatives.
Why Liberals Are More Intelligent Than Conservatives | Psychology Today

If someone tried to justify this article by saying...
but these articles are checked by editors for accuracy who maintain a list of contracted reputable experts that they call to verify information with. Of course; this wouldn't apply to blogs, personal websites, etc...
I doubt you would nod your head in agreement and say...."Well the editor proofed everything...I agree."

You also said...
I also sense an anti-intellectual bias at work in your replies.
Now I could take a picture of my bookshelves to prove they're not full of coloring books and dot to dot activity books. But that might be an exercise in self aggrandizement. :p I have no anti-intellectual bias.

And yes I'm obviously not as formally educated as you. Just look at my grammar.
 
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May 3, 2013
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This thread is NOT surely a place to sing, using the music of "Let it be" (Beatles) something like this:

"Marry me! Marry me! Marry me!... Marry me!"

But it´s a sucured place to know how (and when) it is time to step up (and out).
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
Malarkey. It was like a bull's arrival to examine a man's china closet... agenda in hoof. The results were predictable (e.g. ignorance demonstrated, misrepresentations made, false assertions stated, etc...) and the thread derailed in the process. Maybe someday you'll understand the how and why of your error, though I've cared enough to take the time to explain some of that to you already. Peace.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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AgeOfKnowledge: I will match the bull with the agenda in hoof any day with the axe that you have to grind. And grind it you have been, over and over again.
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
Good post. It's; however, supplementary to the three points I listed. Go and reread them.

If marriage was reincentivized for men, the divorce rate somehow lowered to single digits, and the present uber-long courtship period dramatically reduced; the principles of economics alone dictate that young men would begin asking women to marry them again.

Of course, if our culture also changed to respect God's normative morality and ceased the culture and media war against men (as documented in a wide range of scholarly and non-scholarly publications) we'd have not only corrected for the decline in marriage in our society but also seen society return to God and a healthier respect for the genders in our lifetime.

If we also successfully corrected the economic, trade, domestic labor, etc... problems properly, then they'd both have jobs and self-employment opportunities again like previously existed. Polls clearly show that women want to marry men who have steady incomes. As Pew Research states in 'Record Share of Americans Have Never Married' authored by Kim Parker and Wendy Wang:

"Never-married women place a great deal of importance on finding someone who has a steady job—fully 78% say this would be very important to them in choosing a spouse or partner."

A bonus would be a real decrease in the enormous welfare and social services spending currently required to support the present environment and a material increase in the amount of revenue federal, state, and local governments would receive. Charitable giving would also increase benefitting society.

I see these three things as most important moving forward.


Gotta take what Grace said into account too. It's not just men withdrawing, it's women too. Takes two to do that particular tango anyways. I know that's true, I've lived in states all over the country and there's tons of women around that are not interested in marriage period. It's not just guys that get screwed in a bad marriage, it's not like all men are angels and women don't ever suffer in a divorce. Plenty of innocent victims who suffered in a divorce on both sides of the fence. I don't think anybody but the most heartless gold diggers (They admittedly exist but it's a very small percentage of people) marries just so they can divorce a couple years later and rob the other person blind. Most people Marry because at the time, they feel that they want to spend the rest of their life with the other person. People in this day and age just tend to get ugly when they are having a hard time with something, marriage especially.

I was talking to an older couple that have been happily married for over 30 years recently. I asked them why they think so many marriages fail today. They said "They just don't work at it, they aren't willing to". That's the biggest reason marriages fail I think, both people have to work at it.

A woman can also do everything right and get completely screwed just as much as a man. Granted there is a court bias concerning gender but it's entirely beatable (It's totally possible for a man to win in court, if he is pre-emptively transferring funds and signing stuff over to friends for safe keeping....I've seen it happen. They can't take it if it's not yours, if you have all the money and you withdraw it from the joint account, how is she going to afford a lawyer capable of defending her against a big wig lawyer you just hired?) Innocent people get emotionally and financially crushed on both sides of a divorce all the time. It's a risky endeavor for either gender if you pick the wrong person, it's not just a male problem.
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
I hate to even respond to the ongoing ad hominem you've been directing at me for the simple reason that doing so might somehow "legitimize it" as the saying goes. But, since I'm putting you on ignore at this time because you won't discuss the topic but rather continue to make short ad hominem posts, I don't see any harm in replying this once to explain it to you.

There is no offense intended beloved on my part. It just is desirable to do this until you mature to a point where you stop attacking the person and start discussing the topic. I can honestly say that I have no idea what your arguments are with respect to this topic because all I've seen is you direct personal attacks at me.

That's not engaging in a discussion. That's attacking someone. There is a difference. I'm putting you on ignore for it but have a great day. Peace.

AgeOfKnowledge: I will match the bull with the agenda in hoof any day with the axe that you have to grind. And grind it you have been, over and over again.
 

Rachel20

Senior Member
May 7, 2013
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I hate to even respond to the ongoing ad hominem you've been directing at me for the simple reason that doing so might somehow "legitimize it" as the saying goes. But, since I'm putting you on ignore at this time because you won't discuss the topic but rather continue to make short ad hominem posts, I don't see any harm in replying this once to explain it to you.

There is no offense intended beloved on my part. It just is desirable to do this until you mature to a point where you stop attacking the person and start discussing the topic. I can honestly say that I have no idea what your arguments are with respect to this topic because all I've seen is you direct personal attacks at me.

That's not engaging in a discussion. That's attacking someone. There is a difference. I'm putting you on ignore for it but have a great day. Peace.


Funny, you had no issue calling it misrepresentation, malarkey and ignorance when someone was sincerely questioning your resources and data, calling out it's credibility when you yourself had given such an assurance.


Ad Hominem attack AND hypocrisy?



But anyway peace to you.


I hope you get to spend good time in prayer and reading God's Word :)


May you ever show love to your fellow human beings -- men and women.


Bye-bye! :)



Malarkey. It was like a bull's arrival to examine a man's china closet... agenda in hoof. The results were predictable (e.g. ignorance demonstrated, misrepresentations made, false assertions stated, etc...) and the thread derailed in the process. Maybe someday you'll understand the how and why of your error, though I've cared enough to take the time to explain some of that to you already. Peace.
 
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The article talks about a number of things on which the male must be prepared (morally, financially, spiritually, etc.) But I rather think that you can't possibly list all the things that it takes for a "male" human being to be a "man". Maturity (or preparedness) cannot be reduced to a list of things to go over, marking "check" in the box besides each item.

King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines.

To all the men out there, there are your stakes. "Too high" you say? Then don't even bother. If you can't handle 1000 women, and if you don't think you can ever be able to, then feel free to relax. Spiel or not, this is the 21st century. Days when Manhood was synonymous with "masculine gender", those days are long gone. We now have "female" men; i.e. women who are the rocks in their marriages (while their husbands are always crying, whining, complaining, breaking things and so on). I'm not sure if any of these women has grown solid to the point of handling 1000 women (males and/or females)... but I suppose it's only a matter of time before we get there.

Obviously whenever the standards are lowered, the person at the top of the pyramid is the "man". For instance in a marriage where the wife is the one morally prepared, and financially, and spiritually; it shouldn't be surprising that she be the "husband" in the house.

And so, I give you Solomon once again. There is your "standards". Seek wisdom and all the things he had, those you don't know how to get, pray and ask them from the Father in Jesus' name (coz He'll give them to you)... and concentrate on that up until you feel you can handle a thousand women. Once you feel you're that confident, then go marry a girl. Any girl you choose (I can guarantee you that she will not say "no").

As for the girls who want men to step up... these things are a lot more complex than you can ever understand. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing to put a little pressure on our young men, after all we all need a little weakening slap on the cheek every now and then. But once we've got our "little slap", leave us so we can concentrate fully on the things that really matter.
 

PopClick

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
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The problem; however, is that many studies come to the wrong primary conclusion. Steeped in political correctness, and often prepared by feminists, one will conclude that porn is the primary driver while another concludes that the economy is the primary driver of why young men are increasingly withdrawing from marriage.

The truth is that those factors matter and contribute to the problem but they are not the primary driver of why men are forgoing traditional courtship and marriage in increasing numbers.
Those studies came to the wrong conclusion because it was not the conclusion you wanted them to draw? How can you be so certain that you know the real reason behind the decline in marriage and they do not? Statistics do not tell us the "why".
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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Those studies came to the wrong conclusion because it was not the conclusion you wanted them to draw? How can you be so certain that you know the real reason behind the decline in marriage and they do not? Statistics do not tell us the "why".
Of course that was the reason. Conclusions aren't valid unless they support what you believe. And if they don't support your party line you can always find studies that DO support it. That's the magic of the internet, you can always find someone who says what you already believe. Go, go, google! :D
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
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Of course that was the reason. Conclusions aren't valid unless they support what you believe. And if they don't support your party line you can always find studies that DO support it. That's the magic of the internet, you can always find someone who says what you already believe. Go, go, google! :D
What? We have a party? I never knew that!!

Can I be the party spokesman? Please?? :D
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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No. We already have too many people, in all the parties represented, trying to be the spokesman. You'll have to take a number and get in line. The line starts over in the Bible Discussions forum where they are all practicing speech-making.
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
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No. We already have too many people, in all the parties represented, trying to be the spokesman. You'll have to take a number and get in line. The line starts over in the Bible Discussions forum where they are all practicing speech-making.
That's not fair! I am "Shakesbear". I can be an amazing "Spokesbear" too!! :(
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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Well this thread would be a good place to start then. See if you can get AgeofKnowledge to concede one point, just one. Maybe try for getting him to admit that maybe one or two of his sources was questionable. If you can do that... well, you might have a chance at being party spokespers... er, party spokesbear.
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
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Well this thread would be a good place to start then. See if you can get AgeofKnowledge to concede one point, just one. Maybe try for getting him to admit that maybe one or two of his sources was questionable. If you can do that... well, you might have a chance at being party spokespers... er, party spokesbear.
Er, I said I want to be a "spokesbear", not a technician who fixes broken record-players. :rolleyes:
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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There are many broken records in spokesmanship. If you can't do one, you can't do the other.