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Don't worry.... it gets worse. A lot worse. At a certain stage it feels like you are on your own planet. But if God intended you to marry then He (like always) first wants YOU to be prepared. So if you want to marry someone... prepare yourself. Get yourself ready for her and that you would be the husband she can admire and adore in every part of HER life. If you are that, then you need to be ready for God for what He builds even more into your life. And once you learned all the finer things about authority and care, he will present you to someone. If you are hasty, then you'll just mess everything up. So be patient... put the number 26 -27 in your mind and start trying to get yourself ready before that time, so that you can be a total husband for her before that time is up.
Take care.
Take care.
Sometimes I wonder... If someone can't find a love interest after years and years, is it because they aren't open to giving some people a chance? Do you believe that attraction can grow in time, or is it "at first sight" or not at all? They say the best relationships started out as friendships, which indicates attraction can grow. Things that you might consider unattractive at first could become attractive once you know the person better and are able to appreciate them for who and what they are. Just thinking out loud about this, since many people here are in their 30s/40s and never married though they seem not to want to be single. I dunno.
That's a good question!
Yes, attraction can definitely grow. That's the best way to find someone; through a growing attraction over time. When you meet someone and are immediately attracted to each other, you're blinding yourself and only seeing their good features, meanwhile they are taking effort to hide their bad features. No wonder you would think this person is so amazing! As friends, at least you're looking at them objectively and not through rose-colored lenses.
But most people just want to be with someone, so once they meet someone they try to decide within minutes whether or not they are attracted. If you have this mindset, it doesn't leave much room for attraction to grow naturally.
I don't think it's so much a matter of finding something attractive that you didn't previously find attractive. Its more of a matter of finding certain deeper qualities of a person attractive; qualities that you can't really see unless you know the person for a while. Sure, you can tell if a person is funny just by meeting them once or twice. But are they responsible? Rational? Temperate? Loving? Loyal? Strong in the face of adversity? Those are VERY important things that you can only know about someone by knowing them a while.
Yes, attraction can definitely grow. That's the best way to find someone; through a growing attraction over time. When you meet someone and are immediately attracted to each other, you're blinding yourself and only seeing their good features, meanwhile they are taking effort to hide their bad features. No wonder you would think this person is so amazing! As friends, at least you're looking at them objectively and not through rose-colored lenses.
But most people just want to be with someone, so once they meet someone they try to decide within minutes whether or not they are attracted. If you have this mindset, it doesn't leave much room for attraction to grow naturally.
I don't think it's so much a matter of finding something attractive that you didn't previously find attractive. Its more of a matter of finding certain deeper qualities of a person attractive; qualities that you can't really see unless you know the person for a while. Sure, you can tell if a person is funny just by meeting them once or twice. But are they responsible? Rational? Temperate? Loving? Loyal? Strong in the face of adversity? Those are VERY important things that you can only know about someone by knowing them a while.
V
I definitely feel that finding an acceptable Christian partner is a challenge, but then again should we actually be searching for a partner or should we have the strength to wait to let God bring this special person into our lives? I am a college student and actively involved with a church, and youth ministries on campus. Even with these sources, I don't think there are many people I would actually seriously date - so I understand your predicament. Overall, I completely understand what you are feeling. I feel a lot of pressure from my family to jump into a relationships but I keep trying to get over the fact that I single by taking comfort that someone, somewhere, God is preparing to be my husband. It's cool think that God loves me so much so he is making someone for me, and making me for someone.
S
For some of us, Gracie, everyone we know is married. *shrug*
(As I've stated here several times before you arrived...I am the only unmarried or childless adult in my church, save for the three or four 19 year olds who just graduated.)
It'd be great to be open to take a chance...if there were someone to be open to. Meh.
(As I've stated here several times before you arrived...I am the only unmarried or childless adult in my church, save for the three or four 19 year olds who just graduated.)
It'd be great to be open to take a chance...if there were someone to be open to. Meh.
I'm really feeling my singleness right now with the holidays coming and my 33rd birthday following close behind. It's taking a lot of faith to wait on the Lord's timing as the window for having more children starts closing. But I will not settle for the wrong person because that will just lead to another bad marriage. My biggest desire now is for a godly man to take my 11 year old son under his wing and be there for him in the ways that I can't.
I know many great single women (not that I would date them). There just aren't many single men around who are passionate for The Lord around here. Most I have met just want to tell me what I want to hear in attempt to get me in bed. Or they are barely employed with beer bellies and think they deserve a nubile 22 year old. I've also been told that men are intimidated by smart women, and that would be really sad if it is true.
Sadly, the Christian men I have dated acted entitled and self-righteous. The nonchristians I have met are more accepting and supportive of who I am and God's calling on my life. I've heard some Christians men explain that if God doesn't want them to cheat, then He will give them a really hot wife. Or that it is his wife's duty to meet her husband's sexual ideal. I really hope that is not an accurate representation of that demographic as a whole.
I know many great single women (not that I would date them). There just aren't many single men around who are passionate for The Lord around here. Most I have met just want to tell me what I want to hear in attempt to get me in bed. Or they are barely employed with beer bellies and think they deserve a nubile 22 year old. I've also been told that men are intimidated by smart women, and that would be really sad if it is true.
Sadly, the Christian men I have dated acted entitled and self-righteous. The nonchristians I have met are more accepting and supportive of who I am and God's calling on my life. I've heard some Christians men explain that if God doesn't want them to cheat, then He will give them a really hot wife. Or that it is his wife's duty to meet her husband's sexual ideal. I really hope that is not an accurate representation of that demographic as a whole.
The salt of the earth...scattered everywhere; all out of reach of each other.
And you are NOT old Wisebeardman...because if you are then I am. And I'm definitely not.
We're just starting...all of us. It begins at 30, it doesn't end. Kings were anointed as 30. Priests were ordained at 30. Chosen seeds were first married at 40. 90 year olds gave birth. Barren women gave birth. Is anything impossible for our Father? Honestly...ask yourself do you have faith in what he's said? Do you *know* it to be true?
You have everlasting life! So if it takes 100 years to get what you hope for, what's 100 years to the rest of eternity? Stop measuring your life by the schedule of the world that can do nothing but rush to it's own destruction...because it has no time. But we have all the time we could ever need, if we believe it.
Isaiah 65:20
See the future that's in store for us and rejoice family.
Be encouraged.
And you are NOT old Wisebeardman...because if you are then I am. And I'm definitely not.
We're just starting...all of us. It begins at 30, it doesn't end. Kings were anointed as 30. Priests were ordained at 30. Chosen seeds were first married at 40. 90 year olds gave birth. Barren women gave birth. Is anything impossible for our Father? Honestly...ask yourself do you have faith in what he's said? Do you *know* it to be true?
You have everlasting life! So if it takes 100 years to get what you hope for, what's 100 years to the rest of eternity? Stop measuring your life by the schedule of the world that can do nothing but rush to it's own destruction...because it has no time. But we have all the time we could ever need, if we believe it.
Isaiah 65:20
See the future that's in store for us and rejoice family.
Be encouraged.
