Hey Koji,
Don't be too discouraged. Whenever you post something here, you'll always get posts that might be helpful, along with some other posts that, uh... might not be as helpful.
Ask God to help you sift out what might be useful to your own situation.
I think God sometimes puts us in a place where we can't see our own spiritual growth, but that's part of faith. It wouldn't be faith if we could always see the results of consistent obedience. It might feel like we're not getting anywhere but God asks us to keep going anyway, and sometimes that's when we grow the most.
Have you ever seen the original 1980's version of the movie, The Karate Kid? The movie is about a teenage boy, Daniel, who trains with a karate master named Mr. Miyagi. Daniel arrives for his first lesson eager and excited, fully expecting to be taught "important karate moves", but instead, Mr. Miyagi hands him things like a paintbrush or a sponge, and instructs him to complete regular household chores for the entire day.
However, each chore, whether painting the fence or waxing a car, must be done in a very specific way, with very precise movements ("Wax On, Wax Off!!!") that Daniel doesn't understand, especially when he is instructed to do them for hours and days on end.
Finally, Daniel has had enough and confronts his master, angrily demanding, "WHEN am I going to learn KARATE? I didn't sign up to be your personal slave, you know!"
And Mr. Miyagi responds by throwing a punch.
However, as he does this, he simultaneously starts to shout commands at Daniel: "Wax On, Wax Off!!!" and Daniel repeats these precise movements, effectively blocking Mr. Miyagi's punch. Suddenly, Danie realizes that all those hours of waxing and painting had very practical applications.
I have found that my walk with God is a LOT like that. Unfortunately, many times we don't realize how much our faith is growing until suddenly, a punch comes right out of nowhere and you can hear God telling you, "Pray On, Praise Out!!!" and suddenly, you finally know what all that Bible reading and prayer was doing.
Of course, it's not always a trial or problem that shows us our spiritual growth, but it does seem to be rather common.
I don't know if you've ever owned a plant? I know one thing that's given me a physical picture of spiritual growth is to buy a simple houseplant (in my case, a pothos), take some cuttings, and put them in water. I love checking on the cuttings daily in order to watch the tiny new roots start to grow. Some days, I'm even rewarded by seeing a brand new leaf on the stem.
Even if I don't see a new bit of root or a new leaf, I know I have to keep doing what I know to do -- giving the plant adequate water, fresh air, and sunshine. All of this helps the plant to grow, even if I can't see it for myself (I know others mentioned this example in their posts but I was wondering if maybe getting your own plant as a reminder might help.)
Don't give up, and keep doing what you know to do for good spiritual growth.
Even if you don't see it yourself, it might come out in other ways, such as in how you help or interact with others.
God bless, and please keep us posted!