I'm getting this out, but just ignore it, because it's partially due to a biological reason of being hyper-emotional right now (I'm legitimately jealous that males do not have their bodies turn against them emotionally and physically every month) but, two things.
One, I'm with you arwen, right now I'm not sure marriage is for me. My reasons are probably different than yours, but I understand where you're coming from. I don't know if I want to be that vulnerable with someone. I don't want to subject a man to have to deal with my scars, both my many, many ones on the outside and the ones I have on the inside. I like being by myself.
Two, and I understand totally where they are coming from, but it's easy for them to say, but my scars are NOT beautiful. They do not signify anything beautiful. They are hideous. What they signify is the absolute hatred I had for myself, my absolute lack of being smart enough to find a better outlet, my absolute sin in destroying the temple God gave me. And I'm stuck with them for life. Nothing can take them away. I wish they were inside scars. At least those you can hide, those people are more accepting of. The people who say that my scars are beautiful are the ones who have never seen them and likely don't have that kind of physical scarring themselves.
Maybe one day I'll accept them. I know that God accepts them, and loves me regardless. But He is so far above being a human, I can't expect that from anyone else. I imagine showing someone, and I imagine two reactions. One is the one I want, the other is afraid I'll get. "Oh...sheesh, yeah those ARE pretty bad..." while they dart their eyes back and forth because it's like a train wreck that they don't want to watch but they can't take their eyes from. And the other, where they just look me straight in the eye and say "Nothing has changed."
I know I'm a hypocrite, I posted a poem in the Poems forum a while back on how my scars could be made beautiful. But it's rare that I truly, 100% believe it. I want it to be less rare.
Sigh. End of my mess of a post. In about two hours when I've calmed down, I'm sure I'll regret posting this.