But she's already told you that she doesn't want to be with you, so you do need to let go. It's not healthy to be thinking that maybe it could happen or that it was God's design. You are going to waste more time that way.
I don't think anyone knows how difficult it is until they've been through it themselves.
Sorry, maybe my answer was a bit harsh...but I thought that bluntness would help you since you know...that's the road you take when giving advice to others. Honestly, your bluntness helps me sometimes.
I'm just trying to help you out here as a friend.
I understand that. But, as i stated, your answer is overly simplistic. This concept that i can just easily and casually stop my emotions and move on like nothing happened is not realistic. And the situation is still fairly new. It's not like it's been months, it hasn't even been a month. And some of her actions since have fed the hurt even more.
If i'm still talking like this in 6 months, then yes, that's wasting time. But after a few weeks, chaotic weeks at that where i've had other things going on on top of this, then no, i'm not wasting time. I'm grieving.
I also didn't say i was waiting or expecting the relationship to reform. I simply said i was trying to resolve the idea that i had believed this was God's plan, with the fact that things went the way they did. No where did i say that i was waiting for the relationship to come back together. It's about trying to understand what's going on when something you believe and trust in and expect for a long period of time is suddenly, and without warning, changed, which changes your entire future.
This may sound mean, and i'm not saying it to be mean, but honestly you sound very naive and speaking as someone who has yet to experience any of the things i'm feeling or going through. My emotions don't turn on and off so easily. When drastic changes in my understanding of things and my future happen, i can't just snap my fingers and understand and accept it and go on my merry way as if my life and heart hadn't just been upturned.
If we applied your answer to other issues, do you think it would work? If you felt suicidal and someone said 'well, things could be worse for you, so quit feeling how you're feeling and move on with your life, because you're wasting time' do you think that would help you? Because that's what you're saying to me.
I've not been married, but i did live in a situation for years that was very much like marriage. I know and understand more about marriage than you think i do. Just being in a relationship gives you an idea. The visits to my ex gave me a taste of what it's like to be married, because i had long visits and saw how easy it is to become frustrated with one another. How important time apart is. How important doing things together and going out is. What compromise is. Trust me, i get it more than you think i do.
Your response didn't seem harsh to me at all. That's why the very first thing i said in my response was that i appreciated your taking time to respond and that i will consider some of what you said. It wasn't too blunt. I simply said your response seemed to lack understanding.