Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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Shouryu

Guest
To be completely transparent (please be respectable and treat me as a sister in Christ) the dreams of are sex with past boyfriends...
I get those dreams, too, Arwen (not of your boyfriends, naturally, but of The Ex), and I have to say, when it does happen, it makes the whole following day seem "off." Even spending time in prayer and worship doesn't quite set me right until the following day, if I've had a good night's sleep without a...a recurrence.

It's not even the sex in the dream that bothers me as much as it is my brain choosing to revisit 1) someone I don't particularly care to think about and 2) that it chooses to revisit the most intimate connection we had. To me, it feels less like being taunted with past sin and more being taunted with the loss. "Hey, remember when you used to have this? And now that connection and intimacy belongs to someone else? Live with that." More than anything, THAT'S what grinds my gears. (And knowing that I am not blameless in the situation.)

As children redeemed by the Highest Priest, we are blessed that God can look at us and where our past should be, instead, He sees only the stains of Christ's blood. At the same time, we are cursed in that we ourselves know what the blood obscures, and will likely never forget it ourselves. It is, to us, a reminder of just how far He's brought us, just how much He's changed us, and just how much He's forgiven us. In the end, our memory, in THAT context, serves to bless us.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
Reading foolish stuff today about capital punishment makes me want to throw up a little bit. I should have known better than to read it, but part of me becomes angry when I see people talking so flippantly about it. Even posting smiley faces when they talk about killing people....reducing the value of a human life to dollars and cents...

I doubt that any of them know what it's like to have to take a life. To have every other possible alternative flash through your brain at 1,ooo,ooo mph. Pleading with God in your mind not to have to pull the trigger. Feeling as if seconds are decades, seeing everything in slow motion. For the rest of your life.

Could they? Would they? I doubt it. They'd probably cry and wet their pants. Talk is cheap...unless you're a lawyer.
 
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KJV15John11

Guest
It's funny how my past always seems to come back when i start thinking about my future. It's usually in dreams, taunting me that I haven't actually changed. That I will fall and break my covenant with God as soon as a guy enters my life. That I would be so weak willed, I would do something that I don't actually want to do in my heart of hearts, but somehow always give in; be convinced. They are distressing dreams. Admittedly, the feeling that I get when I awake stays with me so much that I feel that I don't want to be in a relationship. It's a feeling of utter dread.
Having read all of your posts on this thread, I can clearly see that you have some things in your past that have not been resolved. Your dreams are your subconscious yelling at you to work it out or you will be doomed to repeat it. I highly recommend you find a good Christian woman counselor who will help you pull those feelings out and see where your angst is coming from. You are a beautiful woman who has a lot to offer, but you won't be able to live a fulfilling future until you rectify the past.

This is not a substitute for Jesus' loving Spirit and seeking God's direction, instead, it allows God to work through those who He has blessed with such gifts, that can help you draw closer to Him by leaving behind your past. A good counselor will NOT tell you how you feel and what is causing it, instead will only help you discover it on your own and will be supportive.
 
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1still_waters

Guest
Most non-Christians don't understand the religion vs relationship distinction Christians try to draw. To them, anything to do with God, Bible, Jesus etc is that "religious stuff". So when we say it's not about religion, it's about relationship, that statement still gets translated as .."Oh yeah that religious stuff."
 
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1still_waters

Guest
In our rush for unity, and in our disgust at division, I wonder if Christians have forgotten to leave room for mean sounding statements. Namely, statements that say go like...That is wrong... That is incorrect...That teaching/behavior is wrong enough to put you on a path to hell.

Our relativistic, pluralistic culture has massaged our brains so much, that we think being Christian is simply about being "nice", holding hands, as we "focus on Jesus".

But being Christian is about being in truth. If truth exists, that implies wrong/incorrect exists also. Which implies certain things may have to be called such.

What if rushing to unity has lead to us holding hands with absolute error/heresy/corruption?

Sometimes I wonder if people would rather hold hands with the devil, than let go of that hand, and come across as "disagreeable".
 
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kayem77

Guest
I can't get Summertime Sadness out of my head...all this temptation to sing 'Oh, my God, I feel it in the air'' out of nowhere all the time is getting annoying.
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
I was under the impression that the clocks went back an hour last night. I was wrong. Oh well!
Still keeping my landlord at bay for rent...praying he can find it in him to continue to be patient. One of my "unbelieving" friends last night told me they were sending me $100 and not to argue with them about it. They are semi aware of my situation right now,and wanted to help out. It's so crazy. They don't have this money to spare really..I know enough about what they are going through in their own lives...but I praise God that He's obviously using them to help me. I pray that He blesses them a hundred fold for this. They don't even know Christ,and they are willing to give all they can. It's humbling because I am not the type to accept charity. I've had to learn over the years via other brother's & sister's in Christ to "accept" things at times from others...and it's a hard thing. I dunno...life is strange,and I don't ever see certain things ahead or am able to guess at what God might do next. He is faithful beyond all I think my mind or heart will ever comprehend. Thank you for all your prayers as well,those of you who have. You all rock!
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,461
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I hear the Anti-Christ should come from Rome. working on my genealogy one day I wondered , does this mean his roots will be from there many generations ago? and he will arise or has some where else.
Trying to figure out things a lot of times lead to deceptions. The Anti-Christ will rise, from where, what does that matter, do we think we can stop it or something, or are going to go worship it in deception, being deceived by it.
Something's are fruitless that will appear as fruit, when it is not, just some food for thought for you to take this to God between God and you and patiently wait for God to answer you, no doubt, God will and you will know truth as to search or not
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,461
457
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Homewardbound has a lot of thoughts :D what does it all mean?
whatever you want it to mean to you, you choose, you are not me, and I am not you, just putting out things that I have learned, that made sense to me, you please take what make sense to you and leave the rest behind,
Only care to help. give what I have not what I do not have
Thanks
 
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Jullianna

Guest
In our rush for unity, and in our disgust at division, I wonder if Christians have forgotten to leave room for mean sounding statements. Namely, statements that say go like...That is wrong... That is incorrect...That teaching/behavior is wrong enough to put you on a path to hell.

Our relativistic, pluralistic culture has massaged our brains so much, that we think being Christian is simply about being "nice", holding hands, as we "focus on Jesus".

But being Christian is about being in truth. If truth exists, that implies wrong/incorrect exists also. Which implies certain things may have to be called such.

What if rushing to unity has lead to us holding hands with absolute error/heresy/corruption?

Sometimes I wonder if people would rather hold hands with the devil, than let go of that hand, and come across as "disagreeable".
This is sort of related to the book I told you about Stilly.

More and more churches are being designed more for the goats than the sheep (as not to "offend" people and draw bigger crowds), so the goats may never realize they are goats, the sheep go untended/unfed, and those who know nothing of Christ are entertained, yet uneducated.

We know the gospel is going to "offend" people. Jesus told us it would. Share it anyway. He said so.
 
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MissCris

Guest
It occurred to me this morning that maybe the problem I've been having over the last month or so is me. Like, maybe I've not been trying hard enough, or worse, that I've been trying too hard in all the wrong ways.

I can't tell, at this point, where God wants me to focus my energy. I keep getting mixed up in things I want no part of, and other things in my life are suffering for it. But when I get to those things, I just mess everything up.

I've been feeling really...down, I guess...lately. I feel like God handed me these challenges in my life, and that I've not really faced them at all...more like I've just managed to cure symptoms, not solve actual problems.

And I feel like I'm the problem. Because I can't understand the people around me, because I can't just humbly submit when I need to, because I can't remember from one day to the next what it is I need to be doing. I'm just sort of...floating along, covering gaping wounds with band-aids, and then acting all surprised when the band-aid falls off and the wound gets infected. By the time I realize that stitches would have been the way to go, it's far too late and amputation is required.

If I could just...see what's actually in front of me, instead of all the surrounding distractions...

I don't know. Sometimes, something enters into my life and takes over and I can't get rid of it without a big, bloody mess.
 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
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Been listening to Philmont and Relient K today. Their older songs. Now I just need to listen to Stellar Kart's first album.
 
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KJV15John11

Guest
It occurred to me this morning that maybe the problem I've been having over the last month or so is me. Like, maybe I've not been trying hard enough, or worse, that I've been trying too hard in all the wrong ways.

I can't tell, at this point, where God wants me to focus my energy. I keep getting mixed up in things I want no part of, and other things in my life are suffering for it. But when I get to those things, I just mess everything up.

I've been feeling really...down, I guess...lately. I feel like God handed me these challenges in my life, and that I've not really faced them at all...more like I've just managed to cure symptoms, not solve actual problems.

And I feel like I'm the problem. Because I can't understand the people around me, because I can't just humbly submit when I need to, because I can't remember from one day to the next what it is I need to be doing. I'm just sort of...floating along, covering gaping wounds with band-aids, and then acting all surprised when the band-aid falls off and the wound gets infected. By the time I realize that stitches would have been the way to go, it's far too late and amputation is required.

If I could just...see what's actually in front of me, instead of all the surrounding distractions...

I don't know. Sometimes, something enters into my life and takes over and I can't get rid of it without a big, bloody mess.
The fact that you are thinking this way and questioning things means that your heart is in the right place. Once you start to accept that you don't need to make improvements in your life is the start of a downward decline. As Christians, we must understand that as we draw closer to God, the devil will work even harder to put doubt in your mind. You are one of God's precious creations and you will prevail.
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
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As children redeemed by the Highest Priest, we are blessed that God can look at us and where our past should be, instead, He sees only the stains of Christ's blood. At the same time, we are cursed in that we ourselves know what the blood obscures, and will likely never forget it ourselves. It is, to us, a reminder of just how far He's brought us, just how much He's changed us, and just how much He's forgiven us. In the end, our memory, in THAT context, serves to bless us.
This is beautiful and I may just print it out and hang it on my mirror so I can see it every day. I struggle with my physical scars, something that can only be covered up by clothing so that no one else can see them, but I see them every day so I am constantly reminded of why they are there. Not only the pain of them being there, but the pain of being reminded of the instances in my life that drove me to that. And wondering and worrying if my potential future spouse will not only see them as scars, but also whether or not they'll understand how they affect me.

But...I'm trying to learn to see them instead as the instances in my life where I should have run to God, and to be reminded that that is what I need to do in times of trouble; not hurt myself. To remember that He saved me, that HE took my pain. To be reminded just how far He has brought me. Thank you for the reminder, Shour.
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
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Some days, I wish I was a house cat.
Seriously. Sometimes I get home from work and my cats are sleeping, and I tell them, "It must be hard work, sleeping all day." They get to sleep and play whenever they want, be loved and petted and cuddled at their choosing, but when they want to be left alone, they can be. Well...most of the time. Sometimes I still pester them. :p
 

Misty77

Senior Member
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
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This is beautiful and I may just print it out and hang it on my mirror so I can see it every day. I struggle with my physical scars, something that can only be covered up by clothing so that no one else can see them, but I see them every day so I am constantly reminded of why they are there. Not only the pain of them being there, but the pain of being reminded of the instances in my life that drove me to that. And wondering and worrying if my potential future spouse will not only see them as scars, but also whether or not they'll understand how they affect me.

But...I'm trying to learn to see them instead as the instances in my life where I should have run to God, and to be reminded that that is what I need to do in times of trouble; not hurt myself. To remember that He saved me, that HE took my pain. To be reminded just how far He has brought me. Thank you for the reminder, Shour.
My little sister was in a bus accident on the way to church camp when she was only 14. She had at least a stress fracture on every bone in her back (13 were more serious than the rest); and among other injuries,she was burned by battery acid on 14% of her body, most of it on her breasts. The Lord did some miraculous healing (she was catcher on her softball team 9 months after being told she would not be able to walk), but she still bears a lot of the scars. When she was 17, she was a counselor at a summer camp for kids who are burn survivors. That's where she met a 17-year-old guy whose hoodie had melted onto him during a fire when he was 6. She led him to Christ, and they have been married for almost 6 years. On Friday, she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who has the most attentive,loving parents. (Yay, I'm an aunt!)

Regardless where your scars came from, the right man will love every part of you. And the Lord can heal you inside more than you can imagine.
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
The scars of our lives are there to remind us of our hopes of Him having made us stronger. Scar tissue is tough stuff, I've heard its tougher than even the skin that was once there . There's something to that, if true, it tells us about our great God creator who, in our times we mess up, we humans, all of us I'm speaking of now--I'm not singling out Christians just, but Buddhists, Hindus, atheists, ALL religions--have a God that heals us greatly in our lives, just talking of what is right BEFORE our very eyes (baby, what a big surprise !) , living in Chicago, Houston, LA, Timbuctu (Africa), Nepal, Peru, Shanghai, wherever on this planet of 9 billion, God's got a GREAT way of healing us that is not even needing faith, except in the intricate way He has used to 'scar' us that we MUST believe is His doing and not evolution's. That's all, right before my very eyes !

Wow ! That's the very real God we serve, showing a great care of us right there in that small 'footprint' of design.
Reminds me this morning of 1 Peter 5:7 "Case all yours cares (scars, can we say?) on Him, for He cares for you." :)
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ok, some other thoughts:

great, catherdingsheepherdermusician, that's great what you said about church Sunday :)

arwenbaggins: this God you serve is bigger than all that thinking, infinitely bigger, He has bigger thoughts, the biggest ! Not exaggerating either. That's the Truth. Well, hmm, He has the perfect thoughts for you, just renew your mind in Him daily, before gettting up, faith in Him, milady, OH! it goes so far, like scaling Mount Evererest, or, at least, moving it, if you can't scale it :)

julieannie's words of wisdom in recent posts for arwenbaggings shine, reach far, there's faith seen in those words she said, words like, "God's teaching me," those are 'great' words, not in a superlative (good, better, best) sense but in a spiritual sense, as in 'Great is the Lord.' Don't 'dread. Don't be caught up in what I will call 'false love (sex),' for it's truly DEAD, not judging, not trying to. Just saying that a real God-sent man into a ladies life will make 'sex' such a difference, man who will NOT have sex with her until marriage. That's tough to be strong through that thought even.

But, yes, julieannie IS giving God all the glory here ,and, praise, both of which He is worthy of, only Him. So, IF you are going to praise someone, STOP! Give that glory to God, I mean, sure, tell that person, 'I'm really thankful for you in my life, i just see the great power of God so much, it floors me.' That's what iTore can say for those helping him with things troubling him with job, living, etc.

littleChristOne --God is our great healer, GIVE your hand hurting to Him, He will take care of it, I KNOW He will. I've got/had many ailments and I just don't think about them, I just go on. God gets me over them and He gets me over them because I get my mind on Him, moving forward by an unyielding faith in Him. Keep, daily, through life's trudges, pressing ON with Him, cuz going about things any other way would just be.... Wrong. Keep pressing on, pressing on............. REly ON Him. In Christ alone, find your everything. Trust, hope...... :)

Give Him your Sunday, hope/pray we all did :) But, also, all week long, rest in Him, think of the pastor's sermon, how God spoke to you through it :) God will help you, just give that sermon to Him :)
So, Sunday is not ALL DAY LONG, but ALL week long. Just get up and devotions daily a GREAT start, first, but , then, just go about your day with His leading, just doing what we all are doing and that's 'suffer' for His sake. Christ says that's how it's gonna be. Reminds me of a song, 'Howz it gonna be?' But, yeah, that's secular, GET into the spiritual, with your kids, with your family, with YOURSELF. We are to love others as thyself. Love yourself and love yourself with His Love, which is a Love that's speaking of not mere words, or, thoughts, or, even, actions spiritually following, but by an all-encompassing faith in Him. The Lord leads.

Homewardboundings says a lot of good things too. give His words a wise listen from him :)

Sorry, if I say too much, say too little, just speaking my thoughts and just get out there and do things, and, like catty says she's doing, 'going running,' I think I heard her say, JUST get yourself on a plane with God somewhere He taks you, going to His 'dimension.'

His dimension is a spiritual dimension, it is AWAY from the flesh and blood that we are in, which we ARE all 'in' on Earth. And, yeah, just get with Him, remembering all those things done/doing are COVERED by His blood and with His power we can be turning away from those things that RUN our lives into a place, into a ground, that is found in Satan's lair, which is, even, a ground 'upstairs' in THIS world now, in his daft, dark, abyss,so, YES, turn away, turn-turn, turn, AROUND, for, for, for, FOR the sound of our Lord calling you, calling you, calling you to come BACK to Him, or, just, remember, that you are His, cuz ya forgot for a bit !

We all 'forget,' but, thank God ! He NEVER forgets only ONE thing--His sheep, He will never leave them or forsake them, whom He Loves, whom YOU have committed your life to. Your are His, because of His grace, and, His mercies are new every morning :)
 
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lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
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5 days till I take the ACT....please pray I get alot out of the studying I do, and that I can concentrate and that God's understanding is upon me when I take this test. I just want to get a good score so I can get enough money to cover college tuition. I know God can provide without taking out loans (or minimal loans), but I need to do my part. And this is me, doing my part.
 
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MissCris

Guest
I put a high chair together today. It's the coolest baby contraption I've ever seen. My daughter can now sit up with the rest of us during meal times, and maybe that way I'll actually get to eat some of my dinner before it gets cold.

Babies are mean, though. She attacks my face sometimes, if I have to take a toy away.

Kids...can't live with 'em, can't kennel-train them.