Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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WineRose

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2017
3,631
265
83
Row A, Column 9
Winerose who told you that? Don't listen to them. My gosh Winerose is the youngest one here. ������������������
Actually, that ain't true. I've seen a couple of people here who I'm familiar with who are just a few months younger than me. Also, as far as I can remember, there was once this user here who claimed to be about 10-11 or whatever...but then he got banned. :/
 
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GaryA

Guest
I am sorry to hear this. You have really analyzed every sentence. I am sorry I was critical. But didn't you ask?

Life can be hard. I was leaving lower secondary school (junior high) with the best grades of my year. But yet I was never good enough. My sister did even better. I have 2.5 bachelor degrees and now, at 45 i try to go back to get a master's. Does it make me happy? Yeah. Academics does. Don't like writing a thesis on "the" and "a/an" in Victorian English. I need to take the social linguistic approach. And I think I have found my "thing".

Life has been hard to me, too. Very hard. Disability, violent husband, depression, rejection, son with Aspergers, violent son with Aspergers, son that is now thinking he is a daughter. I could make the list longer. Yet. I smile by God's grace. I love the people around me. I often feel lonely. But it is getting better. What I wrote wasn't meant as criticisim. Just an honest answer.

I wrote to you "you are who you are for a reason". Thank you for sharing this reason. And God will use you for who you are, because God created you. I wish you had more love and laughter in your life. And one day be blessed with a woman by your side. Who am I to talk? A person that yesterday was rejected by the person I believed God sent me to be the one... God sent him another message, it seems.

So. I am God's bulldozer. If I hit the wall enough times and enough hard it will surely fall down. Or will it?

God bless, Gary. You are a good guy. Please relax and don't take me so seriously serious, ok?
Don't feel bad for what you have written. At best, you only prompted me to think about things from my past. You didn't actually cause any of it; it is already set in the stone of history. And, it's not that I am experiencing anything like "clinical depression" -- that is not the case at all. I am perfectly stable and self-aware in mental capacity, etc. What I have written is merely a reflection of what I have learned from self-observation and my life in general.

It is a "deep-level" - not a "depression-level" - loneliness that I experience - if you know what I mean. While it is certainly "distracting" at times, it does not prevent me from doing the "normal" activity of a "normal" daily life - working a job, etc. It does not mean I never laugh -- lately, I have just kackled at some of the stuff other CC members have come up with and written into their posts. I couldn't help but chuckle at your last sentence in the post quoted above.

I can "function" just fine in my daily activity. That is not a problem. It is not like I am just sitting around crying all the time or something. ( I am not saying anything against anyone crying when they need to -- it is a well-known accepted fact that crying provides for an emotional 'release' - even for men, not just for women. ) In fact, I rarely do cry. And, I am a bit of a 'softy'. There are things that "touch my heart" enough to make me shed a tear. But, I very rarely "just let go and bawl" - I tend to keep it inside. And, believe it or not, one of the reasons for this is -- I do not have my best friend and companion to hold - and her to hold me - while I cry. Some things seem "too lonely" to cry about outside of having that special someone with you - "crying alone" does not seem to be enough...

Like I said before - everything seems to come back to the woman.

The loneliness I describe is [ simply ] "just there" - "all the time" - always reminding me of that one very special thing I have never been blessed to have in my life.

Sorry if I over-stated it. I did not mean to.

I am sorry about your troubles and pain. And, it serves as a reminder for me to be grateful for the blessings I do have - which are many.

I just don't have the one thing that I have always wanted the most.

Don't worry about what you wrote. I like honest answers. They are the best kind that there is. ;)

Sorry about your love lost -- it is always painful to be at the threshold of something you believe will be wonderful - only to have it ripped away from you.

I understad this quite well - believe me, I do.
 
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GaryA

Guest
Sonia, honey -- just write what you wanted to say to her without quoting her post.

There is something weird about that post. Maybe those special characters she added "tripped up" the software...

As you can see, it happened to me also.
 

WineRose

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2017
3,631
265
83
Row A, Column 9
Okay...okay.

loverofjesus27: Actually, that isn't true. I know a couple of people on here who are just a few months younger than me. Also, as far as I can recall, there used to be a male user who claimed to be only 10-11 years old, or whatever. However, he was swiftly banned...you know...because of CC's age limits and all.

And I once scrolled through the members list, and I saw someone who claimed to be 0 years old...yeah right, buddy...
 
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GaryA

Guest
My guess - based on the shapes of the figures:

CC-StatesFeelForTexas-201709040355.jpg

Looks like Nebraska is hidden behind some of the others...

Not sure about the little triangular area above the hand at the upper-right of Missouri.

Unless, of course, that is part of Nebraska - behind Iowa, Illinois, and Missouri.
 
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toinena

Guest
I just don't have the one thing that I have always wanted the most.
That sums it all up. The big, dark void. That empty space of knowing it should be someone but that someone is..... ???? I am still confused and low. And I know.. I should praise the Lord through everything. But right now, I just feel he was teasing me. He showed me something beautiful. Someone that really touched my heart, saw me, made me whole. What was built up over time was just removed in a second. So. Join the lonely hearts' club, brother. Perhaps one day you can proudly and happily leave it. Now I have to get back to life. Work and studies call. Best news today was that I brought a smile to your face. And that has to be the best achievement for a long time. I don't know if it works... But I really feel like tickeling you. Would be great to see your smile. Seriously.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,235
9,297
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So Monday is payday where I work. If a given Monday is a holiday, the main office sends the checks early so they will be there anyway. So today we found out our paychecks weren't there when we were supposed to get them...

If you want to see a workplace full of coworkers turn into a workplace full of viragoes real fast, just tell them their paychecks aren't in on time. You could almost see the air get darker.

Calls were made back and forth and it turns out the main office sent the checks early. FedEx dropped the ball. Worse yet, today was the store owner's birthday and he was trying to enjoy it. He left what he was enjoying, went to the main office, reprinted all them checks and had them sent to the respective stores via maintenance men.

So anyway, there sure were a bunch of cranky people at work today. I was a bit grumpy myself, but I kept my mouth shut as much as I could.

One thing for sure, now I know why amazon.com uses UPS.
 
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loverofjesus27

Guest
Okay...okay.

loverofjesus27: Actually, that isn't true. I know a couple of people on here who are just a few months younger than me. Also, as far as I can recall, there used to be a male user who claimed to be only 10-11 years old, or whatever. However, he was swiftly banned...you know...because of CC's age limits and all.

And I once scrolled through the members list, and I saw someone who claimed to be 0 years old...yeah right, buddy...

okiedokie, i am aware of that, umm someone also mentioned something about children being present. So im totally aware of that. Nonamemcgee reported that.
 
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Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
The discussion about loneliness a little earlier in this thread jumped up and kicked me square in the feels.

...I share many of those same feelings, but I'm generally good at pretending that I don't.
 

Socreta93

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2015
2,298
360
83
Why must we all stand divided, when we should all stand divided. We are all humans
 
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toinena

Guest
What I miss by being single is right now not to have anyone to say goodnight to. A good night hug would be like Heaven.

Good night to you all (it is already 01:06 am here)
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
2,416
113
What I miss by being single is right now not to have anyone to say goodnight to. A good night hug would be like Heaven.

Good night to you all (it is already 01:06 am here)
HUGS!!!

and Night night.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,779
818
113
54
Don't see the humor?

Do you mean 'serious' as in "too serious" - or, serious-as-opposed-to-apathetic - or, what?

I am curious to understand "what all" you meant by that...?

Don't worry. I am not offended. I really want to know "where you are coming from" with that statement.

Also, is the statement mostly based on my facial expression in the avatar - or, on the posts that I write?
My conscious thoughts make me think of a happy leprechaun that has found his box of Hershey's gold dark in which he wants to share with me ;)