Thanks. I am sorry. I want to be angry at someone... but I can't. I want to run for miles. But I can't. I want to smash plates to the floor, but then the dog would hurt himself, and I can't clean it up, and I don't get help before Monday. I want to have someone here to hold me now to make me feel better and make the pain go away.
I woke up with pain. And the pain got replaced with heartache.
I go to bed.. His grace is new every morning. And I normally wake up with joy in my heart. So I will be ok.
It is a hard place to be in. Wanting someone to be there, but it feels like no one is.
I am sorry. I have been there and I know the pain. I made it a point, though, to know that I cannot place my happiness in anyone's hands. Everyone let's me down in some shape or form. Some intentionally, some unintentionally.
I tend to do things to preoccupy myself if I ever feel like this. I say to myself, "Okay, so I'm feeling like this. It is out of my control. So, what is something I can do that
is in my control?" I can go for a walk, clean, work out, go out with friends (or even by myself). I can do something that I enjoy. I can do something that is in my power.
Your pain is real. If reminding yourself of God's grace helps you in that, then so be it. If you need to do something more, do it. Do something you enjoy.
You are fiercely loved by many. <3