Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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W

ww_21

Guest
satan really hates it when we try and do the right thing, doesn't he? He wants revenge. Funny how he has a way of using people you would never have expected to exact it. It's okay though. God is good and He always wins. :)

You just said... everything that I have been thinking about for the past 3 months.
 
K

keep_on_smiling

Guest
Losing someone never gets easier...perhaps you can chose to become numb, ignore that it happened, but that in itself is so hard.
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
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I feel strange right now. Maybe it's because I've been alone so many days in a row (my parents have been out of town) so I've had too much time to think. But, I'm feeling antsy. Like I want to move somewhere far away, like Denver or back out to South Dakota. Live on my own. Start a new journey.

I shouldn't feel that way. I have a good job here (though not great pay, even being full time), I live with my parents so I don't have rent or typical "living" bills. But I feel...stuck. Discontent. Whether it be something spiritually wrong deep inside me, a typical "early 20s" type deal, or any combination of other things...I just don't know.
 
W

ww_21

Guest
Since we're all admitting stuff and admitting what we truly feel - depression is kicking my behind once more. I slept all night last night, all day today... all day yesterday. I'd rather sleep it off than feel or think about anything.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
Since we're all admitting stuff and admitting what we truly feel - depression is kicking my behind once more. I slept all night last night, all day today... all day yesterday. I'd rather sleep it off than feel or think about anything.
Sometimes I think that is part of the healing process. An opportunity to step out of difficult situations to allow the mind and body to rest from the struggles we face. But we are in trouble if we stay there, aren't we? There comes a time when we stand up, brush ourselves off, realize that God has us in the palm of His hand, and kick depression's behind.

Still praying for you, ww. :)
 

just_monicat

Senior Member
Jan 1, 2014
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It does go both ways does it not?
of course.

i learned a long time ago that my "bad mood" is still eons happier than the average person's "good mood".

as a result, i can't deal with "morose guy" or "petulant guy" (or mercurial, moody and the like...)

it kills my buzz.

unrelated: i miss fenner.
 
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Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
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I'm here Julianna! Thanks for the shout out. :)! I've been working more, good thing, but been busy. Today after church I went up to my Sunday School room and did some reorganizing and trying to figure out what stuff I have craft wise for Easter and Lent. Kids weren't there because they volunteered to work at my churches chicken and biscuit dinner. So we didn't have Sunday School today. It was nice to have just my Daughter and me I got a lot of stuff done.

Then we went to Wal-Mart to get my new glasses and I didn't like them. Never had that happen before, I liked the frame when I picked it out, but with my lenses because I'm so near sighted it de magnifies your eyes. My eyes are small, almond shaped. I felt like Mr. Magoo. So I looked for a new frame. The woman was so helpful. I walked around the store for a bit with them on and I would pass a mirror look at my Husband and say, I hate these. So he finally said, take them back. I felt guilty but they understood.

Tomorrow I am working as a sub with the 3 year old children at Pre School. The director told me they have one little girl who likes to do her own thing. I said, they're 3, don't they all like to do their own thing? Seriously, what? So we will see. Then tomorrow night I am working for my Sister in law at the laundromat.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
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Oh Friday I had to go get my Driver's license photo taken. I am very self conscious about my eyes. That may sound silly, but when you hear over and over your whole life you have small eyes, it tends to get annoying. So I have always felt like a tiny eyed freak living in an anime eyed world. Anyhow so I sit down, my kids are with me. They were quiet being good. I smile, the legally blind man whom I ALWAYS get every 4 years asks, "Why are you squinting?" I said nicely, I'm not my eyes are small and when I smile it might look like I'm squinting. OK, he says, put your chin down, put your chin down more, you're going to be a problem aren't you? So I said, well what do you want me to do? So I put my chin down and smiled and opened my eyes wider. The photo came up and I looked insane. So I said, that's horrible! He said, we can take it again. So again, I was so irritated, I don't normally care what a drivers license photo looks like, but I didn't want to look nuts. I was just so irritated with him. So I wait for it to be done. Then I get up go to get it. He hands me this paper I reach for it he moves his hand and says, "JENNIFER!" I said, excuse me I'm trying to take the paper.

I know the guy is disabled but he was rude. I was irritated when I left. My 7 year Daughter even asked, "What was his problem?" I said, I have no idea. Sigh no idea.
 
Sep 6, 2013
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Oh Friday I had to go get my Driver's license photo taken. I am very self conscious about my eyes. That may sound silly, but when you hear over and over your whole life you have small eyes, it tends to get annoying. So I have always felt like a tiny eyed freak living in an anime eyed world. Anyhow so I sit down, my kids are with me. They were quiet being good. I smile, the legally blind man whom I ALWAYS get every 4 years asks, "Why are you squinting?" I said nicely, I'm not my eyes are small and when I smile it might look like I'm squinting. OK, he says, put your chin down, put your chin down more, you're going to be a problem aren't you? So I said, well what do you want me to do? So I put my chin down and smiled and opened my eyes wider. The photo came up and I looked insane.
This was probably very irritating for you, but the way you wrote it made me throw my head back and laugh... I can just picture you tipping your chin down, smiling really big and widening your eyes until you looked insane. Heh heh heh...

Btw, I love people whose eyes crinkle like that when they smile. :)
 

just_monicat

Senior Member
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
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But, I'm feeling antsy. Like I want to move somewhere far away, like Denver or back out to South Dakota. Live on my own. Start a new journey.
i think i'm always debating a potential move.

for some of us, it never goes away. : )
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
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This was probably very irritating for you, but the way you wrote it made me throw my head back and laugh... I can just picture you tipping your chin down, smiling really big and widening your eyes until you looked insane. Heh heh heh...

Btw, I love people whose eyes crinkle like that when they smile. :)

Thank you! It was pretty funny actually. I was shocked someone said I'd be a problem. I'm probably the least problem consumer ever. I don't like to make anyone's life a hassle. I am usually the person who apologizes when I send something back at a restaurant. It's fun to be a rebel now and then. ha ha..
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
Oh Friday I had to go get my Driver's license photo taken. I am very self conscious about my eyes. That may sound silly, but when you hear over and over your whole life you have small eyes, it tends to get annoying. So I have always felt like a tiny eyed freak living in an anime eyed world. Anyhow so I sit down, my kids are with me. They were quiet being good. I smile, the legally blind man whom I ALWAYS get every 4 years asks, "Why are you squinting?" I said nicely, I'm not my eyes are small and when I smile it might look like I'm squinting. OK, he says, put your chin down, put your chin down more, you're going to be a problem aren't you? So I said, well what do you want me to do? So I put my chin down and smiled and opened my eyes wider. The photo came up and I looked insane. So I said, that's horrible! He said, we can take it again. So again, I was so irritated, I don't normally care what a drivers license photo looks like, but I didn't want to look nuts. I was just so irritated with him. So I wait for it to be done. Then I get up go to get it. He hands me this paper I reach for it he moves his hand and says, "JENNIFER!" I said, excuse me I'm trying to take the paper.

I know the guy is disabled but he was rude. I was irritated when I left. My 7 year Daughter even asked, "What was his problem?" I said, I have no idea. Sigh no idea.
This was probably very irritating for you, but the way you wrote it made me throw my head back and laugh... I can just picture you tipping your chin down, smiling really big and widening your eyes until you looked insane. Heh heh heh...

Btw, I love people whose eyes crinkle like that when they smile. :)
LOL! I'm with Grace on this. I've laughed so hard at Fenner's post I have tears in my eyes.

I hope you have a better tomorrow, Fenner. Next time you get your license Grace and I are going with you film it. :)
 
A

adekruif

Guest
So one of the things I enjoy when I travel for business is spending time with co-workers and being able to tease them. One of the guys I am working with right now doesn't laugh all that much, mostly serious. I tend to be very loose and playful, so I tend to joke around allot. Today I was trying to pound a bolt through a hole and wasn't getting very far. My co-worker asked if I was trying to knock off a bracket that he had glued on earlier in the day. I said yes, and chuckled to myself. A couple seconds later, he says "man, stop screwing with me", and then started laughing.
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
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I talked with a good friend tonight for almost an hour (on the phone, I was pretty proud of myself) and I have calmed down a lot since then, as well as listened to some uplifting music and read a chapter of a great book.

I've decided that at the end of the summer or the end of the year, I will determine whether I will seriously consider moving on whether or not some things have or haven't happened. How much debt I have paid off, whether there is potential for a relationship, where my heart is with God at the moment, things like that. So, I'm feeling a bit less antsy now. A re-evaluation of sorts.

just_monicat, are you extroverted? I'm introverted so moving is usually daunting to me, new places and new people and such.
 
Feb 21, 2014
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I talked with a good friend tonight for almost an hour (on the phone, I was pretty proud of myself) and I have calmed down a lot since then, as well as listened to some uplifting music and read a chapter of a great book.

I've decided that at the end of the summer or the end of the year, I will determine whether I will seriously consider moving on whether or not some things have or haven't happened. How much debt I have paid off, whether there is potential for a relationship, where my heart is with God at the moment, things like that. So, I'm feeling a bit less antsy now. A re-evaluation of sorts.

just_monicat, are you extroverted? I'm introverted so moving is usually daunting to me, new places and new people and such.
Don't you have a twin? would it maybe work out if you guys had a place together? often it works that way, anyway.
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
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Don't you have a twin? would it maybe work out if you guys had a place together? often it works that way, anyway.
We did used to live together in college and we loved it, but she's married now so at this point it'd be kind of awkward. :)