Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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just_monicat

Senior Member
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
17
0
After so long of being a closet violinist, I've slowly begun to step out and face my fears of performing. After taking many baby steps for many, many months, I finally plucked up the courage to play in front of adults (my kindergarten children are fine, they don't pick up the mistakes). So I improvised and just played a song from my heart in front on my new church's worship team.

They told me I'm starting worship practice next week.

I'm so excited because a large part of me always ached when service started, the worship began, and this clingy desire to play my violin always surfaced. There were times when the music would begin and I would hear the violin melodies in my head and found myself humming it instead of singing.

For so long I thought I wasn't good enough and the thought of people watching me had my stomach doing summersaults. But now, I just want to break out in song. I have so much to say through my violin playing that I can't say with words. There is so much more I want to lift up to God and I have so much thanks to give to Him, and although I am slightly nervous, I am glad I can pour my heart out to Him with the instrument in my hand.
awesome arlene. you're an inspiration to everyone here who lets their pride or insecurities keep them from doing that they long to do.

^5

p.s. my ex used to (occasionally) play his violin like a ukelele sometimes. it used to make me laugh, but it sounded... interesting and kinda cool. : )
 
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Ugly

Guest
Mainly the latter, but if I'm eating cake and telling someone else not to, why should they listen to me? I suppose there would still be value in telling someone not to eat cake, and maybe they don't even see me eating the cake, but in my heart I'd know that I wasn't doing what I told someone else would be a good idea. Hopefully that makes sense, but I understand and agree with your point as well, Ugly. Perhaps that's when they turn around and encourage me to not eat cake?

(This is obviously an analogy, cake is good. :) Especially the cakes that Pipp posts...)
I hear from others i give lots of good advice. If i stopped giving advice i didn't always follow i wouldn't give much advice at all. I am the worst at taking my own advice, but that doesn't make what i have to say any less valuable to the person that hears it and applies it. Long as your heart is aimed at growth, share. Otherwise you are doing more damage than good. Who knows what thing you share may have a big impact on someone else, no matter what your own actions are.
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
The friend I am staying with at the moment asked me if I wanted to go see the new Captain America movie with him & I was just like..."nah...I'm still recovering". He just looked at me & said,"I don't blame ya' at all,I wouldn't get on a bus ever again!" lol (too funny) I just have had enough of being in any vehicles for a bit. I think I need a week off from any sort of transportation that has doors or metal. My legs feel all crazy too. I dunno how people love to go on long trips cross country? I guess if yer' riding in like 1st class in a plane or on an awesome train it might be nice...or in a big car & someone else is driving.
I never travel like most people...in part because I don't own all the little gadgets I see people with. So many people have iPods & laptops with them...many have like entire duffle bags of food & water,book,knitting supplies...you name it! I never have anything with me,cept clothes. and what I need to stay smelling nice. Maybe that's my problem when I travel long distances...I need to bring stuff with me to entertain myself. *shrugs*
I'm just rambling again.
It's raining here (again)
cold. (again)
Pondering my future. How long will I be here? What next? I am broke beyond broke.
I had posted a bunch of my silly "poetry" and a few more serious thing's I'd written in the past few yrs on my fb page & a woman I used to go to church with saw it & said I inspired her to start writing again. That was kinda nice to hear,considering this woman is a real honest to goodness writer,not someone who rambles moronic drivel when they get a random thought. She said I shouldn't post stuff like that on fb but on a "real" website..or in a book. lol (isn't face book considered a real website?) I may,just for the heck of it,attempt another book of my art & poetry...maybe I'll make one before I die & like leave it to someone. lol Bleh...I dunno. Have I mentioned yet that I'd really like a cupcake? 'Cause I surely do.:p
 
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zaoman32

Guest
So I actually found another single person at my church, and it's a girl, and according to her facebook page she's around my age, and not exactly hurting in the looks department. I'm contemplating making a move, but if my past relationship experiences are any indication I'll just end up like Leonard always does on the Big Bang Theory, minus the you know what of course :/
 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
73
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So I actually found another single person at my church, and it's a girl, and according to her facebook page she's around my age, and not exactly hurting in the looks department. I'm contemplating making a move, but if my past relationship experiences are any indication I'll just end up like Leonard always does on the Big Bang Theory, minus the you know what of course :/
I believe if God doesn't want you to do something, you won't have peace about it. (You may be nervous if you do ask her out and stuff, but it doesn't mean you won't have that gnawing in the back of your brain saying "Don't do it." But that's just me, I've never been asked out or in a relationship and I haven't asked anyone out before.)


Also....good to see you in the forums again!!

 

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
Sep 17, 2013
5,536
2,703
113
Georgia
Got a unspoken prayer request that I'm asking all my friends to please remember. It's kinda important to me.... and It's for someone else ... thanks in advance to anyone who might feel led to pray. Love you guys. :)
 

just_monicat

Senior Member
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
17
0
almost done with my course of physical therapy. i've been doing it since the first of the year, through the end of this month.

we're also not allowed to "choose" our physical therapists. they're assigned when you get there.

so why do i ALWAYS get the impossibly hot guy there? why can't i ever get the 65 year old grandmotherly type?

sigh.

i come home and it's all a blur...
 
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Ugly

Guest
almost done with my course of physical therapy. i've been doing it since the first of the year, through the end of this month.

we're also not allowed to "choose" our physical therapists. they're assigned when you get there.

so why do i ALWAYS get the impossibly hot guy there? why can't i ever get the 65 year old grandmotherly type?

sigh.

i come home and it's all a blur...
I can relate. Except it's not physical therapy... nor do i think i should give more details here hahaha. But it was medical related!
 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
73
48
27
[video=youtube;_X9yZXHAz34]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_X9yZXHAz34&feature=kp[/video]

I think Jason Gray has been reading my diary.
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
34
I'm struggling.

It's hard to believe the truth when the lies seem to be the thing confirmed, making them not really lies at all. Perhaps it is only my perspective, but it certainly doesn't help. I know I'm being vague and I am on purpose because I'm not going to open my soul right now, I'm just putting down my stream of thought.

I just need to listen to His truth. Why is that so hard for me? I think I project what I think of people and what they think of me onto God, which is obviously not true. Oh, my feeble, fickle human mind.
 
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blueorchidjd

Guest
Today I bought an awesome scarf and I made a salad with sprouts.
I am secretly scared of the salad because I saw a spider in the sink and am paranoid that the spider came from the sprouts..

Who knows.... 0_o
 
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ww_21

Guest
I tried to stay up to chat with you guys last night, but I was too tired so good morning.
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
almost done with my course of physical therapy. i've been doing it since the first of the year, through the end of this month.

we're also not allowed to "choose" our physical therapists. they're assigned when you get there.

so why do i ALWAYS get the impossibly hot guy there? why can't i ever get the 65 year old grandmotherly type?

sigh.

i come home and it's all a blur...
aahaahahahahahaha...sorry,but that's too funny. I think I may have even posted something about this similar before. Seems every time I ever have to got to the hospital for something major,I am suddenly poked & prodded,and surrounded by the most attractive women possible. I would always think the same thing. Wishing it were little old men or women,why oh why does it have to be hotties???? Then I stop & remember that I'm no Brad Pitt,or Johnny Depp,so ummm I have zero chance at these women,even if I were fully clothed,smelling great and seeing them out someplace. Then I don't feel so bad about it. It must be different though for women (and men) who are attractive normally,and then thrust into that position of not looking their best. Anywho....my condolences Monica. lol
 
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MarkMulder

Guest
I tried to stay up to chat with you guys last night, but I was too tired so good morning.
I've seen that GIF before, it makes me nauseous if I stare at it for too long. :eek:

This is more my "cup of tea" ;)

 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
Today I bought an awesome scarf and I made a salad with sprouts.
I am secretly scared of the salad because I saw a spider in the sink and am paranoid that the spider came from the sprouts..

Who knows.... 0_o
No worries, he came up the water spout. Not through the sprouts
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
15,402
199
63
Disappointment is inevitable. But to become discouraged, there's a choice I make. God would never discourage me. He would always point me to himself to trust him. Therefore, my discouragement is from Satan. As you go through the emotions that we have, hostility is not from God, bitterness, unforgiveness, all of these are attacks from Satan. ~C.S.
And Satan has been defeated per the word John 16, so what is it one needs to beat then what is left over to beat.
You just said it EMOTIONS! of anger, out of place. not belonging, unaccepted

When in Christ these things are past tense we are accepted loved and cherished period by Father through Son it is done for all if we would stand fast in belief of it is finished, and we have new life in Father, praising one another as Father does Son and Son does Father
Imagine if all we did was praise another and never self, others praised us as we just fought to praise them, can one see the Father and Son doing this and the Holy Spirit joined in saying the same about them and not of self? we would be "ONE" big joyful family would we not?
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
15,402
199
63
I was getting ready to post advice in a different thread here on Singles, and then I realized I can't even take my own advice so what right do I have giving it to others?

Sigh.
Post it and say that, and you know many times when I post things I am many times talking to me as well, telling me about the truth that I see and many times not yet do or do sometimes and sometimes not, are we not all in a learning process here to learn from all? always relating everything to Father through Son
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
15,402
199
63
I just talked to my boss about the jerk in the office. "You need to be aware of a situation that is brewing, and you are about to lose good people over it." When I first joined, there was a sense of team and unity in the office before we hired him. Now it's become a boys' club, and it doesn't help that all the attorneys and positions of influence are male. It is about to tear our organization apart as one of the women has a perfect discrimination claim. But she was too scared to come forward without having a backup plan. I tried to convey the seriousness without divulging too many details. I guess I had forgotten that my boss is an attorney first and foremost.

He ordered me to tell me who it was and started asking about us individually. Shamefully, I caved. I did, however, emphasize that it was told to me in confidence.

It needed to be told, though no one else was willing to speak up. I'm glad that I said something, but now I am scared of repercussions. I fear that I will end up alienating the very people I was trying to help.
It seems to me truth needed to be told to stop the evil that was brewing regardless of what others think, eviul flourishes when good men of God do not stand up, encourage from their Sister, encourage, regardless what others think, they know the truth and have been taught fear and thus do not stand up, good for you to take the stand. Maybe go the one's that told you in confidence and confess to them you caved, regardless of how they react, you are being honest and if they are mad, at least you did not hide, you faced up to the whole truth
Just a thought in standing up for truth and safety, killing evil sprouts, with truth