I have no idea how single parents survive their days. Honestly, I'm not even sure how I've made it through the last couple of months.
I spend a lot of my days feeling like I'm completely losing it. I'm with my kids all. The. Time. At this point, even when Somebody wants to see them, I have to be there because...why? The amount of reasons I've been given for it are getting to sound like poor excuses. He took them over night 3 times right at the beginning, and not since. I don't understand it. I can't do anything about it, and I certainly can't admit that these kids and I are driving each other completely insane.
I dont sleep normal hours because night time is my only real chance to...just breathe, recharge a little.
I knew this whole thing would be hard. I didn't realize how totally alone I would be through it. I feel kind of stupid, naive, for not realizing...but how could I even imagine feeling as lost and scared and frustrated as I do? When I think about the future, I try to be positive...realistic, but positive.
I was way, way off on this one.
I love my babies. And I think that at least one of them loves me back, at least most of the time...
We just can't keep living this way, cooped up here together day in and day out. Something's got to give, or I'm going to break.
(Please, no advice or...pity posts...I'm just getting it out)