Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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Tintin

Guest
Observations of the day so far...

Blast! Arlene and I won't be able to talk until late this evening.
Man, there's so many dishes to do!
Oh, I should've had breakfast, it's lunch time.
That's a lot of dishes!
I think I'm going to minimize my involvement in the Bible Discussion forum.
Why am I watching a DVD series on marriage? Isn't that jumping the gun?
So many dishes!
I love my CC brothers and sisters!
It's now 2:20pm.
 
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Shouryu

Guest
Here's my version of your post, Shour...

- I bought the Roku streaming stick because Chromecast doesn't come with a remote :p
The remote for the Chromecast is my phone. Not joking. The store I was in didn't have the Roku stick, just the Roku boxes, which were a chunk more expensive than the CC. This thing may get me to subscribe to Netflix if I'm not careful. (I'm just going nuts with the YouTube side of it right now.)
 
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persNickety

Guest
I need another day off. Two days isn't enough. Maybe I'll call in sick for Tuesday. I just need another day of rest during the week.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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The remote for the Chromecast is my phone. Not joking. The store I was in didn't have the Roku stick, just the Roku boxes, which were a chunk more expensive than the CC. This thing may get me to subscribe to Netflix if I'm not careful. (I'm just going nuts with the YouTube side of it right now.)
Yea, I knew chromecast uses a smartphone for its remote/app but I don't want the NSA to know what I'm watching on tv too haha. :)
 

Immawildthing

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2013
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Has anyone noticed how much this thread seems like everyone's journal entries for the day? Then again, that's not a bad thing :p
i get to pretend to be a stalker and read everyone's journals :p wahahaha
 
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BugeyeSTi

Guest
So I can't sleep tonight, so I've been laying in bed thinking, thinking about being hurt and how I deal with it.

Growing up I always kept to myself, didn't bother with the outside world too much because of previous hurt. I internalized everything and never let anyone see the true me, never let them see I was hurting. I did this for years and after a while you get really good at hiding anything and everything from pretty much everyone.


As I got older and started interacting with the world, I started to hide my emotions through an appearance of not caring or joking. Again, doing this for years makes you really good at it, and I was to the point where even my mom had no idea what I was feeling.

Reading a text message from a good friend tonight got me thinking about this, and how I hide ALL my true feelings under jokes, and made me realize how truly afraid I am of allot of things happening in my life. Allot of things scare me to death, but my standard way of dealing with this is to joke, or play IDC, but in reality I'm deathly afraid of something or deeply deeply hurt.

It's so hard for me to admit to anyone that I'm afraid of something in life, that I've been hurt, or even that I'm scared of potential outcomes in life. I'm scared to admit that my life isn't as perfect as it looks, scared that people will see the true me, scared to simply show my emotions. Afraid to open up ever again, for fear of being hurt so deeply.

I feel like all these emotions that I never show are holding me back, yet at the same time I have no idea how else to live, how else to deal with the pain. When I open up to anyone I'm vulnerable and I know how easy it is to penetrate to my inner being and so deeply wound me that I never fully recover.

I'm sobbing now, so maybe I'll be able to sleep. I feel quite exposed now, please tread lightly. :'(
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,425
2,416
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So I can't sleep tonight, so I've been laying in bed thinking, thinking about being hurt and how I deal with it.

Growing up I always kept to myself, didn't bother with the outside world too much because of previous hurt. I internalized everything and never let anyone see the true me, never let them see I was hurting. I did this for years and after a while you get really good at hiding anything and everything from pretty much everyone.


As I got older and started interacting with the world, I started to hide my emotions through an appearance of not caring or joking. Again, doing this for years makes you really good at it, and I was to the point where even my mom had no idea what I was feeling.

Reading a text message from a good friend tonight got me thinking about this, and how I hide ALL my true feelings under jokes, and made me realize how truly afraid I am of allot of things happening in my life. Allot of things scare me to death, but my standard way of dealing with this is to joke, or play IDC, but in reality I'm deathly afraid of something or deeply deeply hurt.

It's so hard for me to admit to anyone that I'm afraid of something in life, that I've been hurt, or even that I'm scared of potential outcomes in life. I'm scared to admit that my life isn't as perfect as it looks, scared that people will see the true me, scared to simply show my emotions. Afraid to open up ever again, for fear of being hurt so deeply.

I feel like all these emotions that I never show are holding me back, yet at the same time I have no idea how else to live, how else to deal with the pain. When I open up to anyone I'm vulnerable and I know how easy it is to penetrate to my inner being and so deeply wound me that I never fully recover.

I'm sobbing now, so maybe I'll be able to sleep. I feel quite exposed now, please tread lightly. :'(
Um do I know you well enough to hug you? If so I'll hug you, and offer absorbent shoulders should you ever need them (for crying on that is). Oh and this (it's God speaking in the song not me just to make that clear):

[video=youtube_share;ssKVlGIrUJs]http://youtu.be/ssKVlGIrUJs[/video]
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
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I'm hanging out with my mom today. A little while ago, she handed me a grocery bag and said "I found this in my closet and thought you'd like it back".

It's a faded, ultra-soft, purple, cowl neck sweater. It cost $50, twelve years ago, and I threw the NASTIEST teenage hissy fit to get my mom to buy it for me.

I was 16. I had seen the sweater in the mall while with friends, and I kept seeing it for weeks that fall. I tried it on a couple times, and my friend said it brought out the green in my eyes and made my skin look "creamy". She was right- I'd never worn anything before or since that looked and felt like it was made FOR me.

I asked my mom for it; she said she didn't have the money but that I could pick one at half that price. I didn't know until later that even that smaller amount was way too much; she knew how bad I wanted the sweater, felt bad she couldn't give it to me, and was trying to compromise.

I was a jerk. I didn't want a cheaper sweater, I HAD to have the purple one, I hated her for always making me settle for "crap and hand-me-downs". I pouted and wouldn't talk to her for days. She tried to cheer me up and I snapped at her; she tried to explain and I ignored her.

I came home from school one day and found the sweater laying on my bed, with a note from my mom that said simply, "This would look really nice with that flowered skirt of yours."

...I wore the sweater twice. And I never even said thank you.

So I tried, when she handed me the bag and I saw what was in it, to tell her I'm sorry for how I acted...she smiled and waved it off and said, "You'll do the same thing for your snotty teenage daughter someday."



so now I think just maybe you won't, do as she said now, you are a learning and are forgiven even before you ask, yet it is great to be accountable and free. You might have needed to say and see this more than she.
It is great to see your relationship being built with your Mom
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
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We should have a 'things we have been called on CC' thread. I was once told that I was an 'apostate against the Church'. Well then.
I have been called the Devil incarnate, because I listen to rock n roll. Okay then, glad God has not gone on vacation and put the accusers in charge
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
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We should, I was told I was a bad person for trying to help a gay person find a church they'd fit into. Why do I hate that person, why do I want them to go to hell? So wrong, in my opinion, I was also called a Jezebel because I believe it's OK for a woman to preach.

It's OK to call names but not to help people or have your own beliefs. We wonder why so many stray from Christianity? Well maybe it's some individuals like that who choose to put people down that make people stray.
It is and as Billy Graham was asked, if he found out his Son was Gay, what would he do?
Answer, Just love him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
usually people with a problem to others, have had that very same problem in themselves or still have it. At least this is what I see as what I did when I was a legalistic bigot.
until I saw God just loves me and all, who am I to judge another, and was shown Romans 14:4, I stopped and said thank you for showing me this and stopped the legalism to others and had to learn to do the same with me personally, and still chewing on that one, afraid to make the wrong turn and hit a dead end. Learning though, and stay away from condemning anyone since God chose not to condemn me, and all the world, just waiting for us toi get a clue and just love all as God has and does love all in Mercy to all
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
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I was just reading that thread. I was mostly skimming, but she appears to have some serious issues to work through. I love Harry Potter though. Anyone who throws out HP is going to need to throw out LofR and Narnia too.
No matter all has learning to be learned in all. For in this world, good and bad go hand in hand, so seek out the God by asking God for it and to see the bad to learn from it and move on, you think?
Commit all thy ways unto the Lord and the Lord straightens out our path, and that is not to be a legalistic either, rather a lover of God by God and for God thank you Jesus. We are not citizens of this worlds thanks to you, we are citizens of Heaven in Spirit and truth, here on earth as ambassadors, telling others if not like it here, hey see here in Spirit and truth with Father through Christ, and be freed in Spirit and truth
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
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I was just reading that thread. I was mostly skimming, but she appears to have some serious issues to work through. I love Harry Potter though. Anyone who throws out HP is going to need to throw out LofR and Narnia too.
Yes! Exactly!! I was always confused over this. I used to be part of a church that condemned Harry Potter as witchcraft but when Chronicles of Narnia came out, most of the area churches were organizing group carpools to go see it...

What the hee haw!!???
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,447
452
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Meh, I've been called things in chat that I can't repeat here. If I did I'd have to ban myself. :p:p
I personally found that I can't not respond to others with a clear conscience with me in the way as how dare this or that attitude.
Then i heard God say well Son, then just live above theses circumstances and I said what be arrogant? As if I am better than others?
And i heard no, not at all, rather humble enough to just trust for the right answer at the right time and listen to when not to and if someone has a problem which that will always be, can't get around that. Just reply with they are loved by me (God) period, for I (not me) God have no respect of anyone good ore bad, as they might think they are. No one ios better than the other even if one acts that way.
So I think Matt 10:16-20 very important and meant for all that beleive God
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
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It is and as Billy Graham was asked, if he found out his Son was Gay, what would he do?
Answer, Just love him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
usually people with a problem to others, have had that very same problem in themselves or still have it. At least this is what I see as what I did when I was a legalistic bigot.
until I saw God just loves me and all, who am I to judge another, and was shown Romans 14:4, I stopped and said thank you for showing me this and stopped the legalism to others and had to learn to do the same with me personally, and still chewing on thwwwat one, afraid to make the wrong turn and hit a dead end. Learning though, and stay away from condemning anyone since God chose not to condemn me, and all the world, just waiting for us toi get a clue and just love all as God has and does love all in Mercy to all

I am happy that Billy Graham responded that way. Lovely smart man he is. If one of my children ever told me that they are gay, I would do just that love them.
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
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452
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But MissCris, don't you realize that we're dumb and completely unable to read?! Or pay attention, or even hear the voice of the Holy Spirit... because we're... WOMEN.


And!



Those men are just instructing us because we're the scourge of the earth. They have every right to because they have diminution. They're our pastors, husbands, brothers, and fathers. Aren't they?


And they have every right to call us names, abuse us, boss us around, and violate the scriptures... right?



In this past week I've been told by "men of God" that I'm stupid, worthless, not a Christian, unwomanly (whatever that means), that I have no right to express an opinion, I have no right to correct a man because I'm a woman, that I'm wrong because I dared to use science (apparently science isn't Christian), and that I couldn't possibly understand the word of God because I'm female.



I'm very tired of men who obviously don't know the scripture they claim to understand.




And thank you once again gypsygirl for coming to my aid. I very much appreciate it.
Not all men think this way, men that want control, are men a fallen and want to maybe, I said maybe do what is right, at the expense of women and that plain and simply is not right to anyone not just women

Form it says Men LOVE your wife's as God has LOVED you

So if I do not see this love of God that is done by Son, then I will treat not only women accordingly but all people you think

For I see not one that can love any deeper than what they see they are loved
So we love according to what we believe we are loved period. So if I step out of line as to what I believe is in line then I would believe I am damned and therefor I would damn any and all around me you think?

So the ? is did God really take away the sin of the world through Son for us or not?
If God did, then why is everyone so focused on to stop sin, when by God through Son this is done
John 1:29 [Full Chapter]
[ John Testifies About Jesus ] The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!
Matthew 5:17
Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
John 19:30 [Full Chapter]
When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost.

Hebrews 9:16
For where a testament is, there must also of necessity be the death of the testator.
Hebrews 9:17
For a testament is of force after men are dead: otherwise it is of no strength at all while the testator liveth.

Hebrews 7:11
If therefore perfection were by the Levitical priesthood, (for under it the people received the law,) what further need was there that another priest should rise after the order of Melchisedec, and not be called after the order of Aaron?

We are in an new covenant not really new, just brought back to LOVE as in 1 cor 13:4-7, the original promise to Abraham in the order of Melchizedek, ( Hebrews 7)
 

homwardbound

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2012
16,447
452
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I've been called zero, zero-t, zt, club-z (a long story on that one) and........ yea I think that's it. :rolleyes:
Have you responded with thank you, and that God just ;love you and you and you and you?
It happened to me many times in the past, and I know this by Christ's stripes I am healed as well as all that do beleive,
No brag just fact in all humility
 
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Tintin

Guest
I am happy that Billy Graham responded that way. Lovely smart man he is. If one of my children ever told me that they are gay, I would do just that love them.
I'm not going to pretend I wouldn't struggle if that was my reality. But if it were, I would hope that I'd just love as Christ did and does. :)