Struggle with finding the right (anyone actually) one.

[Grace-Like-Rain]

I guess the key is finding a true Christian woman since a true Christian woman will cling to a Christian man like the Bible says.

Lol well I wouldn't think that he's a Christian guy then lady melita,

I just wanted to address this real quick... because I think there's an expectation hinted at here that could be throwing you off. A woman can be a true Christian, and a man can be a true Christian, but they may not necessarily be "right" for one another. We are all given freedom to choose our mates, and we all have unique personalities that are drawn toward certain other personalities. So if a man isn't necessarily interested in a particular woman, or if a woman doesn't cling to a specific Christian man, that doesn't say anything about the level of spirituality of any of those people.

What are your thoughts on that?

 

[GodIsSalvation]

I just wanted to address this real quick... because I think there's an expectation hinted at here that could be throwing you off. A woman can be a true Christian, and a man can be a true Christian, but they may not necessarily be "right" for one another. We are all given freedom to choose our mates, and we all have unique personalities that are drawn toward certain other personalities. So if a man isn't necessarily interested in a particular woman, or if a woman doesn't cling to a specific Christian man, that doesn't say anything about the level of spirituality of any of those people.

What are your thoughts on that?

My thoughts are I'd agree partially with you on the unique aspect. I'd disagree on the rest though. There is not freedom in this world. I think the "freedom of choice" stuff is an illusion that has caused a tremendous amount of problems. I think it is at the heart of these sorta modern problems too. You can see this reflected in society and the decay of marriages, the prevalence of divorce, the single parenting woes, really the list just keeps going. Really if you think about it the illusion of choice has been horrendous for Christian dating and marriage the more this heresy has been advanced, notably from the 1960s to present. I think freedom of choice is a cop out excuse to not love someone or not try to work things out.

I think rather that people are indeed unique and not perfect, but I think if they are truly Christians then they'll truly love. If they truly love then indeed the wife will cling to her husband and the husband to his wife. They'll build each other up and they'll endure because of love. If they do not have love they will not endure, they will not be interested in Christians, they will not succeed, they will only fail over and over and over again.

There is no level of spirituality either, it's like a yes or no question, you are or you are not. You believe or you don't. You love someone or you don't.

 

[godsslife]

i totally feel you.. girls are complicated more now a days and can be super materialistic sadly ..maybe its because you dont have in common with them with nothing or very little things.. youre not their type or the communication is lacking.. when that happens confront them be confident and just have goals step by step

 

[Tintin]

Finding none at all is far better than finding the wrong one. The wrong one will tear you to pieces.

Ah, like the dancing girl maenads of Greek mythology?

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

My thoughts are I'd agree partially with you on the unique aspect. I'd disagree on the rest though. There is not freedom in this world. I think the "freedom of choice" stuff is an illusion that has caused a tremendous amount of problems. I think it is at the heart of these sorta modern problems too. You can see this reflected in society and the decay of marriages, the prevalence of divorce, the single parenting woes, really the list just keeps going. Really if you think about it the illusion of choice has been horrendous for Christian dating and marriage the more this heresy has been advanced, notably from the 1960s to present. I think freedom of choice is a cop out excuse to not love someone or not try to work things out.

I think rather that people are indeed unique and not perfect, but I think if they are truly Christians then they'll truly love. If they truly love then indeed the wife will cling to her husband and the husband to his wife. They'll build each other up and they'll endure because of love. If they do not have love they will not endure, they will not be interested in Christians, they will not succeed, they will only fail over and over and over again.

There is no level of spirituality either, it's like a yes or no question, you are or you are not. You believe or you don't. You love someone or you don't.

Well yes, I definitely agree that once married, a couple MUST love and respect and be committed to one another no matter what. (Barring abuse, or abandonment/unfaithfulness.) What I am speaking of is initial choice of a spouse. The Bible shows several couples "choosing" one another as mates. I don't believe that just because two people are Christians, they have an obligation to marry each other.

 

[GodIsSalvation]

Well yes, I definitely agree that once married, a couple MUST love and respect and be committed to one another no matter what. (Barring abuse, or abandonment/unfaithfulness.) What I am speaking of is initial choice of a spouse. The Bible shows several couples "choosing" one another as mates. I don't believe that just because two people are Christians, they have an obligation to marry each other.

Can you name some examples in the Bible? Cause I can't think of any off the top of my head.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Can you name some examples in the Bible? Cause I can't think of any off the top of my head.

Isaac and Rebekah, while they didn't choose one another for themselves, were chosen FOR one another. Abraham sent his servant out specifically for this purpose, rather than choosing a wife from among the people around them.

Jacob definitely chose Rachel. He waited for her, specifically, for 14 years.

Boaz and Ruth chose one another. Well, she chose him, and he supported the notion.

If we aren't allowed to choose our mates, then how would it work? We should simply marry the first person we meet who is a Christian, without thought of any other qualification? If God gives us the choice of whether to marry or not (as Paul states) then why wouldn't he give us the choice of who to marry, within Biblical guidelines?

 

[GodIsSalvation]

Isaac and Rebekah, while they didn't choose one another for themselves, were chosen FOR one another. Abraham sent his servant out specifically for this purpose, rather than choosing a wife from among the people around them.

Jacob definitely chose Rachel. He waited for her, specifically, for 14 years.

Boaz and Ruth chose one another. Well, she chose him, and he supported the notion.

If we aren't allowed to choose our mates, then how would it work? We should simply marry the first person we meet who is a Christian, without thought of any other qualification? If God gives us the choice of whether to marry or not (as Paul states) then why wouldn't he give us the choice of who to marry, within Biblical guidelines?

Lol so none of them chose eachother by so-called free choice. Lol was just using Isaac and Rebekah as an example in Singles chat actually funny enough. Boaz and Ruth didn't choose eachother, Naomi flung them together and Boaz even had to redeem the right to Ruth from his kinsman. Jacob fell in love with Rachel at first sight, but he was sent there by his parents, and he also got Leah, whom was his rightful wife whom he did not choose lol.

Though this does make me think. Esau may have chosen his wife by freewill, but then again that displeased his parents greatly.


EDIT: Btw come chat with us in Singles Chat lady Grace!

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Lol so none of them chose eachother by so-called free choice. Lol was just using Isaac and Rebekah as an example in Singles chat actually funny enough. Boaz and Ruth didn't choose eachother, Naomi flung them together and Boaz even had to redeem the right to Ruth from his kinsman. Jacob fell in love with Rachel at first sight, but he was sent there by his parents, and he also got Leah, whom was his rightful wife whom he did not choose lol.

EDIT: Btw come chat with us in Singles Chat lady Grace!

Though this does make me think. Esau may have chosen his wife by freewill, but then again that displeased his parents greatly.

Jacob definitely counts!

You guys are chatting without me?? I'd be there right now, but I'm headed to bed in 20 minutes. I am not naive to the very real time warp that chat creates! You blink and three hours have gone by. Don't have too much fun in there without me though.

 

[GodIsSalvation]

Jacob definitely counts!

You guys are chatting without me?? I'd be there right now, but I'm headed to bed in 20 minutes. I am not naive to the very real time warp that chat creates! You blink and three hours have gone by. Don't have too much fun in there without me though.

Lol Jacob don't count. Love at first sight means God chose for him. Plus the technicality with their famous bride story. Poor Leah, Rachel always gets all the credit, but Leah is the mother of kings! Also the women didn't have a choice in those cases lol, that's why Jacob had to work for them, and also got scammed at that! Poor Jacob, but he was a good hearted man, praise the God of Israel!

Lol awwww, well good night lady grace. As for the rest of you you guys don't have excuses. Tintin I know you're out there, come chat in Singles!

 

[seoulsearch]

Lol so none of them chose eachother by so-called free choice. Lol was just using Isaac and Rebekah as an example in Singles chat actually funny enough. Boaz and Ruth didn't choose eachother, Naomi flung them together and Boaz even had to redeem the right to Ruth from his kinsman. Jacob fell in love with Rachel at first sight, but he was sent there by his parents, and he also got Leah, whom was his rightful wife whom he did not choose lol.

Though this does make me think. Esau may have chosen his wife by freewill, but then again that displeased his parents greatly.


EDIT: Btw come chat with us in Singles Chat lady Grace!

I think it's important to remember though that one of the reasons the Bible isn't filled with stories of people choosing their spouses is because (correct me if I'm wrong), the Bible was written during a time in which that simply wasn't the cultural norm.

Spouses were chosen for you, and, as you pointed out, for someone to make their own decision was often displeasing to the family. Abraham sent his servant Eliezer to CHOOSE a wife for Isaac--Isaac didn't host his own episode of "The Bachelor."

Part of this was the time and culture in which the Bible was written. I don't know why God didn't include stories of couples choosing each other, but I'm sure He knew it was coming in the future.

I know, though... It's easy to become discouraged. We all do.

 

[GodIsSalvation]

I think it's important to remember though that one of the reasons the Bible isn't filled with stories of people choosing their spouses is because (correct me if I'm wrong), the Bible was written during a time in which that simply wasn't the cultural norm.

Spouses were chosen for you, and, as you pointed out, for someone to make their own decision was often displeasing to the family. Abraham sent his servant Eliezer to CHOOSE a wife for Isaac--Isaac didn't host his own episode of "The Bachelor."

Part of this was the time and culture in which the Bible was written. I don't know why God didn't include stories of couples choosing each other, but I'm sure He knew it was coming in the future.

I know, though... It's easy to become discouraged. We all do.

Lol I agree kim. Their culture was superior, our culture is inferior.

 

[Tintin]

Lol Jacob don't count. Love at first sight means God chose for him. Plus the technicality with their famous bride story. Poor Leah, Rachel always gets all the credit, but Leah is the mother of kings! Also the women didn't have a choice in those cases lol, that's why Jacob had to work for them, and also got scammed at that! Poor Jacob, but he was a good hearted man, praise the God of Israel!

Lol awwww, well good night lady grace. As for the rest of you, you guys don't have excuses. Tintin I know you're out there, come chat in Singles!

Sorry, brother. I've been posting indiscriminately between getting things ready for my brother's Brazilian fiance when she visits tonight. So I'm rather busy and excited. Cheers for the invite though.

 

[GodIsSalvation]

Sorry, brother. I've been posting indiscriminately between getting things ready for my brother's Brazilian fiance when she visits tonight. So I'm rather busy and excited. Cheers for the invite though.

Aw Tin, and I just told lady Kim to nudge you.

EDIT: Well now I hope she nudges you extra hard lol.

 

[seoulsearch]

Lol I agree kim. Their culture was superior, our culture is inferior.

Oh, I'm not so sure about our choosing being inferior.

My Dad has often (joked with me) about finding a Sugar Daddy. (He says that because he knows I HATE it when guys that much older hit on me and he likes to see me get upset sometimes! ) My Mom once encouraged me to get back with an ex-boyfriend (when we'd already had a disastrous end.) My sibling will say, "Can't you find ANY nice guys out there??!!", as if you can just go pick one up at the grocery store and toss him in your cart like a bag of chips.

Somehow, I'm not really sure I'd want MY family doing the choosing for me!!!

 

[GodIsSalvation]

Oh, I'm not so sure about our choosing being inferior.

My Dad has often (joked with me) about finding a Sugar Daddy. (He says that because he knows I HATE it when guys that much older hit on me and he likes to see me get upset sometimes! ) My Mom once encouraged me to get back with an ex-boyfriend (when we'd already had a disastrous end.) My sibling will say, "Can't you find ANY nice guys out there??!!", as if you can just go pick one up at the grocery store and toss him in your cart like a bag of chips.

Somehow, I'm not really sure I'd want MY family doing the choosing for me!!!

Lol frankly lady Kim you're the one that surprises me most of all the people here that you're not married. If I were older I'd marry you in a heartbeat. I'd propose even right now frankly for just how interesting you are for conversation.

Lol anyways back to the topic. Well you consider that their marriages worked, and even moreso they begot great kings and heroes of the faith. Clearly their culture is superior to ours. They actually had honor. Honor is a big thing missing from our culture. They actually had love. Love is a big thing missing from our culture. To highlight the inferiority of our culture there is just no end to that list. Lol frankly just turn on TV and flip through the channels.

 

[coby]

Oh, I'm not so sure about our choosing being inferior.

My Dad has often (joked with me) about finding a Sugar Daddy. (He says that because he knows I HATE it when guys that much older hit on me and he likes to see me get upset sometimes! ) My Mom once encouraged me to get back with an ex-boyfriend (when we'd already had a disastrous end.) My sibling will say, "Can't you find ANY nice guys out there??!!", as if you can just go pick one up at the grocery store and toss him in your cart like a bag of chips.

Somehow, I'm not really sure I'd want MY family doing the choosing for me!!!

The bag of chips reminds me of the husband store.

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York
City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the
instructions at the entrance is a description of how
the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors
and the value of the products increase as the shopper
ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a
particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor,
but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to The Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where
the sign reads:
Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely
Good Looking.
‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead
Good Looking and Help With Housework.
‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead
Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic
Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor,
where the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as
proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for
shopping at The Husband Store.

 

[Monnkai]

Wow, this thread got big! It just goes to show how helpful the people on this site are. Any other site I'd get two maybe three responses. God Bless guys and gals

 

[Lynx]

Oh, I'm not so sure about our choosing being inferior.

My Dad has often (joked with me) about finding a Sugar Daddy. (He says that because he knows I HATE it when guys that much older hit on me and he likes to see me get upset sometimes! ) My Mom once encouraged me to get back with an ex-boyfriend (when we'd already had a disastrous end.) My sibling will say, "Can't you find ANY nice guys out there??!!", as if you can just go pick one up at the grocery store and toss him in your cart like a bag of chips.

Somehow, I'm not really sure I'd want MY family doing the choosing for me!!!

Look on the bright side seoul-sista, there are worse choices than your family choosing for you...


Ray Stevens
"Jack Daniels"

VERSE 1
You started talking soon as I sat down,
Giving me tips on love,
Saying how I was good-looking,
The kind of guy most women were dreaming of.
Then after just about an hour or so,
You started pointing out the girls I should get to
Know.
Sure enough, I thought I fell in love.
You kept saying, "Go, man, go!"

CHORUS:
But, Jack Daniel's, you lied to me again.
(Yes, you did.)
You told me that she was the greatest thing
That ever happened to a man.
You said this was it, she was the one,
And I'd still be in love when the morning comes,
But, Jack Daniel's, you lied to me again.
(Yes, you did.)

VERSE 2
I used to count on old Jim Beam,
But he kept letting me down.
He'd line me up with a rodeo queen;
Next day, she'd be looking like a rodeo clown.
Jose Cuervo* couldn't find me a beauty,
And Johnny Walker* failed when he said he could.
Yeah, all of you fellows are real smooth talkers, but
Your eyesight's not too good.

CHORUS

BRIDGE
I'm forgetting about wine women and song,
And the next time I go out, you ain't coming along.

CHORUS

 

[seoulsearch]

Lol frankly lady Kim you're the one that surprises me most of all the people here that you're not married. If I were older I'd marry you in a heartbeat. I'd propose even right now frankly for just how interesting you are for conversation.

Lol anyways back to the topic. Well you consider that their marriages worked, and even moreso they begot great kings and heroes of the faith. Clearly their culture is superior to ours. They actually had honor. Honor is a big thing missing from our culture. They actually had love. Love is a big thing missing from our culture. To highlight the inferiority of our culture there is just no end to that list. Lol frankly just turn on TV and flip through the channels.

Whoa!!! I almost missed this post!!

Why, thank you, God Is -- what a sweet compliment!! Thanks so much for calling my conversations "interesting"... I think most people just call them, "Never ending"...

I'm kinda quirky and ornery and sarcastic , and that probably has a lot to do with why I'm single. It's kinda funny because a long time ago, there was a guy poster (who isn't here anymore, apparently) who wrote that he was surprised I was single, but that he was GLAD I was single or else I wouldn't have time to write posts here!!

I'm sure he meant well but it was kind of funny.

God bless, GodIs, and thank you for the kind words!!