Struggle with finding the right (anyone actually) one.

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seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#101
May 23, 2009
16,754
5,653
113
#101
Monnkai said:
Wow, this thread got big! It just goes to show how helpful the people on this site are. Any other site I'd get two maybe three responses. God Bless guys and gals :)
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Here in Singles, most of us don't have significant others to talk to so we sit around and talk to each other. :) This site has actually done a lot to ease some of my own loneliness, and I hope it does the same for you!!

God bless, Monnkai, as you continue your search for friends, hobbies, and relationship God that will bring you peace.
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#102
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#102
GodIsSalvation said:
L

Lol anyways back to the topic. Well you consider that their marriages worked, and even moreso they begot great kings and heroes of the faith. Clearly their culture is superior to ours. They actually had honor. Honor is a big thing missing from our culture. They actually had love. Love is a big thing missing from our culture.
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Whether their marriages "worked" or not is up for debate too! Men set their wives aside enough for leaders in the Bible to have to address it. Moses permitted divorce due to hardness of heart.

There was infidelity (Gomer)

There was lust, adultery and murder (David)

There was fighting, jealousy and manipulation (Abram and Sarai, Jacob, Rachel and Leah)

Abraham pretended his wife was only his sister, throwing her to the mercy of the people around them who wanted her because she was beautiful. Not very loving or honorable.

There is nothing new under the sun. The heart is desperately wicked, and there always has been and always will be depravity among people, even God's people, while we remain in these human bodies. :(
 
C

coby

Guest
#103
#103
GodIsSalvation said:
My thoughts are I'd agree partially with you on the unique aspect. I'd disagree on the rest though. There is not freedom in this world. I think the "freedom of choice" stuff is an illusion that has caused a tremendous amount of problems. I think it is at the heart of these sorta modern problems too. You can see this reflected in society and the decay of marriages, the prevalence of divorce, the single parenting woes, really the list just keeps going. Really if you think about it the illusion of choice has been horrendous for Christian dating and marriage the more this heresy has been advanced, notably from the 1960s to present. I think freedom of choice is a cop out excuse to not love someone or not try to work things out.

I think rather that people are indeed unique and not perfect, but I think if they are truly Christians then they'll truly love. If they truly love then indeed the wife will cling to her husband and the husband to his wife. They'll build each other up and they'll endure because of love. If they do not have love they will not endure, they will not be interested in Christians, they will not succeed, they will only fail over and over and over again.

There is no level of spirituality either, it's like a yes or no question, you are or you are not. You believe or you don't. You love someone or you don't.
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Yeah with a simple marriage with simple problems, sure, easy peasy. Go watch T.B. Joshua, marriage from hell, my wife beats me up. She was demon posessed and beat him up, so he left and found another woman, but they all got to church and she got set free and the marriage was restored. Still I wouldn't say he wasn't a real christian because he gave up initially and if it hadn't been for that deliverance ministry they'd have divorced.
 
G

GodIsSalvation

Banned
#104
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#104
coby said:
Yeah with a simple marriage with simple problems, sure, easy peasy. Go watch T.B. Joshua, marriage from hell, my wife beats me up. She was demon posessed and beat him up, so he left and found another woman, but they all got to church and she got set free and the marriage was restored. Still I wouldn't say he wasn't a real christian because he gave up initially and if it hadn't been for that deliverance ministry they'd have divorced.
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Well I'd think it be more on her rather than him until she was delivered. I like this story though very interesting lady Coby. I think at the end she getting delivered and him reconciling to her is like the principle about the power of love that I'm trying maybe poorly, to express, that love conquers all things.
 
vens

vens

Member
#105
Jul 13, 2013
44
0
6
#105
Monnkai said:
My terrible luck with girls is very potent. The last girlfriend I had was Wiccan....As you know that did not end well. My biggest problem is girls talk to me for only a little bit. They then stop talking (no explanation was given) and I never hear from them again. The few girls who don't (Which I'm talking to still) aren't the least bit interested in dating. I was thinking of upgrading my Christian Mingle account, but I checked and there are very few people close to me and its expensive. I'll probably end up paying a lot of money just for girls to ignore me. Any advice?
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I'd say just enjoy life, do things that interest you, and talk about those things on your dating profile or when you meet someone, so the right people will be interested in you. But yeah first and foremost mention that you're christian :)
 
C

coby

Guest
#106
#106
GodIsSalvation said:
Well I'd think it be more on her rather than him until she was delivered. I like this story though very interesting lady Coby. I think at the end she getting delivered and him reconciling to her is like the principle about the power of love that I'm trying maybe poorly, to express, that love conquers all things.
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Yes well that's true. I have real respect for such people that they just don't give up. That must be love.
 
G

GodIsSalvation

Banned
#107
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#107
Grace-Like-Rain said:
Whether their marriages "worked" or not is up for debate too! Men set their wives aside enough for leaders in the Bible to have to address it. Moses permitted divorce due to hardness of heart.

There was infidelity (Gomer)

There was lust, adultery and murder (David)

There was fighting, jealousy and manipulation (Abram and Sarai, Jacob, Rachel and Leah)

Abraham pretended his wife was only his sister, throwing her to the mercy of the people around them who wanted her because she was beautiful. Not very loving or honorable.

There is nothing new under the sun. The heart is desperately wicked, and there always has been and always will be depravity among people, even God's people, while we remain in these human bodies. :(
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This true indeed, makes for good discussion :)

Aye and Gomer was all ready how we shall say, uhh, known a man, before she got with Hosea. However Hosea's love was not just for Gomer, but I think Hosea's love was moreso for God because God wanted Hosea to be with a whore to demonstrate how unloving Israel was towards him, but also to show like how Hosea loves and eventually forgives Gomer, so too is God the savior of Israel.

Yes, David is like my favorite too. Actually we could do a whole subject just on David and his wives. Take for instance Michal who did not love him and despised him just for dancing, so he put her away and did not touch her ever again. Then there is of Bathsheba, and David and Bathsheba did indeed have to pay a heavy curse for Uriah's innocent blood. So there are consequences. Nevertheless God is loving and forgiving and as we know David and Bathsheba eventually had Solomon afrom whom the other kings all the way up to the Messiah come forth.

I disagree there was problems between Sarah and Abraham. Heh Sarah's my favorite Bible heroine, so I might be biased. Neverthless, a lot of what people claim as marriage faults with these two are not so. If you're meaning Hagar, that was Sarah's idea, and Sarah even repented of it and thought it a mistake. It's not Abraham's fault, he was just doing what she wanted. Abraham was a meek man, and he did not pretend, Sarah was his sister. I think rather Abraham had perfect faith. I don't blame in the least, I could see myself in the same position being a small and meek man. Note too for Abraham's meekness and faith his life was spared, his substance increased and God protected Sarah and cursed the Egyptians and God saved the Princess from Pharaoh (foreshadowing!)

As for Jacob-Leah-Rachel triangle. Yup agreed there. No wonder in the Torah it says not to play two sisters against each other. So true!
 
G

GodIsSalvation

Banned
#108
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#108
coby said:
Yes well that's true. I have real respect for such people that they just don't give up. That must be love.
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Me too lady coby. It's okay though I know a lot of ya'll have had failed marriages and relationships. While I don't like divorce and all that, don't think I hate you guys. I will never give up on ya'll and neither will Jesus. :)

Actually reminds me of another one of my terrible personal anecdotal stories. One of the biggest times of just grief and rage as a kid. I was about 7 or 8. My carnal parents were fighting and arguing like all hell and fury one night. And my mom decided she was going to divorce my dad. And she went and locked herself in her room to call the people for the divorce stuff. Well I'm freaking out over it shouting at my dad to stop her. My dad was kinda drunk and defeatedly resigned, he says "oh just let her divorce me, it'll be okay."

I wouldn't have that at all I flew into a crying rage saying how he is not a man for being so cowardly and I will not have my family torn apart from me. I was crying furiously. It was the angriest I've ever been with my pops. It just kindled my anger to no end that he would just give up on my mom and on me and on my little sister and as a family, us so easily. So I picked up the phone myself and made all sorta racket so she couldn't talk straightly to the divorce people. Lol she threatened me, I didn't care at that point about being hit, and she gave up and hung up. It was a low mess of a moment for me, but it worked, they did not get divorced. That little event stuck in my mind for years, it's how I feel about the never give up mentality in marriage and relationship. I'd rather fight for love at all costs even to my own embarrassment, carnal pain, or even my own death.
 
C

coby

Guest
#109
#109
GodIsSalvation said:
Me too lady coby. It's okay though I know a lot of ya'll have had failed marriages and relationships. While I don't like divorce and all that, don't think I hate you guys. I will never give up on ya'll and neither will Jesus. :)

Actually reminds me of another one of my terrible personal anecdotal stories. One of the biggest times of just grief and rage as a kid. I was about 7 or 8. My carnal parents were fighting and arguing like all hell and fury one night. And my mom decided she was going to divorce my dad. And she went and locked herself in her room to call the people for the divorce stuff. Well I'm freaking out over it shouting at my dad to stop her. My dad was kinda drunk and defeatedly resigned, he says "oh just let her divorce me, it'll be okay."

I wouldn't have that at all I flew into a crying rage saying how he is not a man for being so cowardly and I will not have my family torn apart from me. I was crying furiously. It was the angriest I've ever been with my pops. It just kindled my anger to no end that he would just give up on my mom and on me and on my little sister and as a family, us so easily. So I picked up the phone myself and made all sorta racket so she couldn't talk straightly to the divorce people. Lol she threatened me, I didn't care at that point about being hit, and she gave up and hung up. It was a low mess of a moment for me, but it worked, they did not get divorced. That little event stuck in my mind for years, it's how I feel about the never give up mentality in marriage and relationship. I'd rather fight for love at all costs even to my own embarrassment, carnal pain, or even my own death.
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Oh well luckily they stayed together. Good job!
Luckily my kids were much younger. They just think it's normal. My son asked then: mom didn't you first also live in dad's house?
Oh yeah he's so sweet, he takes care of the homeless people, I joked.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#110
Mar 13, 2014
42,676
17,133
113
69
Tennessee
#110
Grace-Like-Rain said:
Well yes, I definitely agree that once married, a couple MUST love and respect and be committed to one another no matter what. (Barring abuse, or abandonment/unfaithfulness.) What I am speaking of is initial choice of a spouse. The Bible shows several couples "choosing" one another as mates. I don't believe that just because two people are Christians, they have an obligation to marry each other.
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I fully agree with you. Just being a Christian is a starting point, there still has to be mutual attraction and interest. There has to be chemistry and compatibility. There has to be the right environment for love to develop and grow. And there has to be commitment, because without that you have nothing.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#111
#111
Grace-Like-Rain said:
Whether their marriages "worked" or not is up for debate too! Men set their wives aside enough for leaders in the Bible to have to address it. Moses permitted divorce due to hardness of heart.

There was infidelity (Gomer)

There was lust, adultery and murder (David)

There was fighting, jealousy and manipulation (Abram and Sarai, Jacob, Rachel and Leah)

Abraham pretended his wife was only his sister, throwing her to the mercy of the people around them who wanted her because she was beautiful. Not very loving or honorable.

There is nothing new under the sun. The heart is desperately wicked, and there always has been and always will be depravity among people, even God's people, while we remain in these human bodies. :(
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I was a bit confused for a moment. I was thinking, when did Gomer (one of Noah's grandsons via Japheth) commit infidelity? Haha! Wrong Gomer. Hosea in the highest! ;)
 
G

GodIsSalvation

Banned
#112
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#112
Tintin said:
I was a bit confused for a moment. I was thinking, when did Gomer (one of Noah's grandsons via Japheth) commit infidelity? Haha! Wrong Gomer. Hosea in the highest! ;)
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Lol that's a good one Tin that has me literally chuckling out loud.
 
G

GodIsSalvation

Banned
#114
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#114
Tintin said:
Haha! Thanks, brother. :) By the way, I'm almost finished Daniel and then I'll be onto Hosea. Huzzah!
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Oh man, you just reminded me I been slacking on my reading, I'm still only in the early parts of Isaiah O_O. Keep on though Tintin, good stuff.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#115
#115
GodIsSalvation said:
Oh man, you just reminded me I been slacking on my reading, I'm still only in the early parts of Isaiah O_O. Keep on though Tintin, good stuff.
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Oh! No worries, brother. It's not a race (although it kind of it). ;) Haha! Not really. Just messing with you. :p
 
AbigailZeke

AbigailZeke

Beloved
#116
Mar 11, 2016
3,055
242
63
Singapore
abigail.pro
#116
Hmm must be hard to do the 'finding.' Monkai, maybe you wanna try spending more time outdoors. xD

I did and some cutie came along. Lol. Nothing serious though (at least, not yet xD)
 
G

GodIsSalvation

Banned
#117
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#117
Tintin said:
Oh! No worries, brother. It's not a race (although it kind of it). ;) Haha! Not really. Just messing with you. :p
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Lol no worries, I think of it as a race for motivation, but we all win in the end lol. I'll certainly crunch time a little bit now, thank you for your encouragement sir Tintin, praise Jesus and may he keep you encouraged too.
 
vens

vens

Member
#118
Jul 13, 2013
44
0
6
#118
AbigailZeke said:
Hmm must be hard to do the 'finding.' Monkai, maybe you wanna try spending more time outdoors. xD

I did and some cutie came along. Lol. Nothing serious though (at least, not yet xD)
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That sounds so much like what happened to me yesterday! I was inadvertently racing to class, then I noticed a jogger, so fit. It was love at first sight-with her puppy of course!
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#120
#120
AbigailZeke said:
Hmm must be hard to do the 'finding.' Monkai, maybe you wanna try spending more time outdoors. xD

I did and some cutie came along. Lol. Nothing serious though (at least, not yet xD)
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Pounce on him, Abing!
 
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