"The 3-Date Rule." How Do You Know When You Know That You Know?

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cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,255
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#43
Sorry, I TOTALLY disagree with that!
So what do you call it when she gets all cleaned up, puts on a nice dress, and lays down beside him while he's asleep? I don't believe that anything sinful happened, but even the Biblical account has Boaz sending her away early in the morning so no one would know she was there.
 

ankagirl

Active member
Feb 10, 2021
125
109
43
#44
So what do you call it when she gets all cleaned up, puts on a nice dress, and lays down beside him while he's asleep? I don't believe that anything sinful happened, but even the Biblical account has Boaz sending her away early in the morning so no one would know she was there.
I've heard of people who have done the same thing that Ruth did, and justified it through this story. I don't agree with that. However, I beleive that if there was something wrong with what Ruth had done, then the Bible would say something about that. Instead, the Bible calls Ruth a 'virtuous woman'. In fact, she is the ONLY woman to be called virtuous in the entire Bible.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
39,747
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Tennessee
#45
I've heard of people who have done the same thing that Ruth did, and justified it through this story. I don't agree with that. However, I beleive that if there was something wrong with what Ruth had done, then the Bible would say something about that. Instead, the Bible calls Ruth a 'virtuous woman'. In fact, she is the ONLY woman to be called virtuous in the entire Bible.
Ruth was very much a virtuous woman.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,255
2,281
113
#46
I've heard of people who have done the same thing that Ruth did, and justified it through this story. I don't agree with that. However, I beleive that if there was something wrong with what Ruth had done, then the Bible would say something about that. Instead, the Bible calls Ruth a 'virtuous woman'. In fact, she is the ONLY woman to be called virtuous in the entire Bible.
I will completely agree that Ruth's actions are not something that should be imitated casually or a justification for ungodly behavior. I don't think Ruth did anything wrong either, I was just saying that yeah at least that one scene (which came at the end of when they had an excuse to keep being around each other) sure looks an awful lot like seduction / serious intent to win the guy over and convince him he can't live without you.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,499
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#47
Hey Everyone,

I was talking to a friend in his 30's who was raised in church all his life, but something he said floored me.

He said that in his generation, it's kind of an understood thing that if you go out with someone 3 times, you should know by the 3rd date whether or not you want to pursue a relationship (something serious) with that person, and if you can't see something serious by then it's time to move on, because you don't want to waste your time or theirs.

I can't remember ever really trying to decide after a certain number of dates -- I completely understand the need for some kind of "deadline", if you will, but what are your opinions about when this deadline should be set?

* Do you agree that if you don't know by the 3rd date, both people should move on?

* Should it depend on a certain amount of time, and if so, how much?

* What other considerations would you factor in to know whether you should keep seeing the person or if it was "a waste of time"?

I'm really interested in hearing your answers because I couldn't help but wonder if the proposed "3 Date Rule" was a product of our ever-impatient "Hurry Up, Swipe Left And Move On To The Next Profile!" dating culture.

What do you think?
I think that in this day an age, three dates is a relationship.
 

Runningman

Well-known member
Mar 4, 2020
8,474
3,625
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#48
After three dates people still have no idea who they are dealing with. It's going to take a lot more than three dates.

You really need to get people to a point where they are comfortable to be themselves. You're probably not going to have any idea how someone treats you when they're angry after three dates.

During the beginning of dating people are only going to show you their good side. People aren't just going to come out and tell you immediately they are unemployed, don't have a car, live with their parents, etc. They aren't going to tell you about their explosive anger or mood swings they have.

They're going to lead with their best foot forward for as long as they can, but eventually you will see who they really are.

You're probably going to need about about 6-8 months of daily interaction with someone before you start really seeing who they are and if they are marriage material.
 

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
768
821
93
#49
Super interesting thread to read!

I've never heard of the "rule", but I do agree with it. Someone who is dating for the end goal of finding the forever someone, should be able to tell whether they'd want to have a serious relationship with that person or not after 3 dates.

I think often times people choose to ignore things we know wouldn't work or be ideal.

I think with prayer and being honest with myself, I wouldn't know everything about someone, but I'd know if something serious could come of it.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#50
Ruth married her boss

I think there might be a rule about that, but I could be wrong...like the 3 date rule. How many days did she work with Boaz? I dont think they even went out on any date.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
20,027
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#51
Also Ruth was doing a lot of work gleaning the fields and not being paid anything except for barley.

So when she married Boaz, did she end up being CEO of the barley fields? Or maybe she just kept threshing in between bearing children.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
20,027
6,455
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#52
I reckon her sons grew and were put to work in the fields early cos he needed more hands to help.

Child labour is free. Farms everywhere have bigger families to deal with the workload dont they?
 

ankagirl

Active member
Feb 10, 2021
125
109
43
#53
I will completely agree that Ruth's actions are not something that should be imitated casually or a justification for ungodly behavior. I don't think Ruth did anything wrong either, I was just saying that yeah at least that one scene (which came at the end of when they had an excuse to keep being around each other) sure looks an awful lot like seduction / serious intent to win the guy over and convince him he can't live without you.
Not sure about that, but I guess it's possible.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
20,027
6,455
113
#54
wasnt it if he didnt marry her she would tell everyone they had a roll in the hay. (or barley)

Because people would get suspicious wouldnt they.