The Banned Game
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Miss Bluebells and Miss Tailfeather were sitting on the sofa at Mrs Olives house watching Shortland Street.
They had never seen Lanolinland TV before as they never got Lanovision in Dixieland.
Dr Warner is cute isnt he? observed Miss Bluebell
Oh no I think hes a lech. Rachel is much smarter than him, even though hes a doctor and shes a recptionist. He has no clue how to treat animals but Rachel should have a veterinary degree as shes healing them in the waiting room before they even get onto the wards!
Wait what is Mrs Hairy saying? They read the captions
Shes running for president.
Of what, I thought Lanolinland didnt have presidents?
Ferndale zoo?
Oh look its the Chipmunks! what are they doing on Shortland Street?
Miss Tailfeather said they must have been stuck up a tree and couldnt get down. Lanolinland had some very tall trees. She thought of her reservation that had gotten burned over by the rednecks. Maybe the chipmunks had left too because of them?
They had never seen Lanolinland TV before as they never got Lanovision in Dixieland.
Dr Warner is cute isnt he? observed Miss Bluebell
Oh no I think hes a lech. Rachel is much smarter than him, even though hes a doctor and shes a recptionist. He has no clue how to treat animals but Rachel should have a veterinary degree as shes healing them in the waiting room before they even get onto the wards!
Wait what is Mrs Hairy saying? They read the captions
Shes running for president.
Of what, I thought Lanolinland didnt have presidents?
Ferndale zoo?
Oh look its the Chipmunks! what are they doing on Shortland Street?
Miss Tailfeather said they must have been stuck up a tree and couldnt get down. Lanolinland had some very tall trees. She thought of her reservation that had gotten burned over by the rednecks. Maybe the chipmunks had left too because of them?
Prince William hummed to himself as he was driving along the coast road to Eden Island with Charlotte. Finally a chance to getaway. Katie could be a real nag at times.
He was dressed casually in a lavalava and was shirtless as it was very hot. But he had put on some sunscreen which was mud grade and added some zinc dots for effect. They had stopped at Myers as Charlotte wanted to get some new shoes to wear to meet Empress Ruby but when she saw some crocs at Target on special she begged her dad to get those.
Mama never lets me wear them and all the cool kids have them!
so William bought a pair that were pink and had the special things they put in the holes. This time he used his plastic coins as he didnt think it would be worth trying to get a royal discount.
That was when he ditched his itchy English apparel and decided to go native and also bought a pair of crocs for himself. Charlottes pink crocs matched her pink swimsuit with a tutu round it and her little tiara that shed got from Aunty Megs.
He was dressed casually in a lavalava and was shirtless as it was very hot. But he had put on some sunscreen which was mud grade and added some zinc dots for effect. They had stopped at Myers as Charlotte wanted to get some new shoes to wear to meet Empress Ruby but when she saw some crocs at Target on special she begged her dad to get those.
Mama never lets me wear them and all the cool kids have them!
so William bought a pair that were pink and had the special things they put in the holes. This time he used his plastic coins as he didnt think it would be worth trying to get a royal discount.
That was when he ditched his itchy English apparel and decided to go native and also bought a pair of crocs for himself. Charlottes pink crocs matched her pink swimsuit with a tutu round it and her little tiara that shed got from Aunty Megs.
Keisha flew the emergency pizza to the surf lifesavers at Piha who had rescued a whale.
The whale couldnt eat the pizza but was trying to beach itself on the iron sand.
Oh no you dont! You go back to sea. Thats where you belong, said Keisha.
The whale, who was named Jonah, looked like he was going to vomit up something but Keisha said if you going to be sick go to that blowhole over there. Humans are trying to surf here.
The beach was saved.
The whale couldnt eat the pizza but was trying to beach itself on the iron sand.
Oh no you dont! You go back to sea. Thats where you belong, said Keisha.
The whale, who was named Jonah, looked like he was going to vomit up something but Keisha said if you going to be sick go to that blowhole over there. Humans are trying to surf here.
The beach was saved.
The prayer team at Rangimarie Retreat on Great Barrier Island were secretly praying in their closets and had shut the door.
The spiritual battle was fierce, they nicknamed the closets ' the war rooms' and had cleared out as many shoeboxes as they could.
Kiwi Tahi noted down the prayers in a notebook and Kiwi rua checked that they had been answered, while Kiwi Toru devised strategy and bound demons. They all had their heads down while those that were unprayed for were outside, weeping and gnashing their teeth
The spiritual battle was fierce, they nicknamed the closets ' the war rooms' and had cleared out as many shoeboxes as they could.
Kiwi Tahi noted down the prayers in a notebook and Kiwi rua checked that they had been answered, while Kiwi Toru devised strategy and bound demons. They all had their heads down while those that were unprayed for were outside, weeping and gnashing their teeth
Miss Goodbooks was still stocktaking when she came across a series of dog books called A dog and his girl mysteries. It was a detective series and the dog would solve crimes.
Usually she didnt read while she was scanning and withdrawing, but this series looked like it hadnt been out and still looked quite newish. Is this not a rip off of Scooby-Doo where everyone mistakes everyone elses identity due to their low IQ and rips off their masks in the end?
It seemed like it wasnt. The dog really was smart and could detect someone on drugs, lying, or whether they had killed someone by smelling blood on their hands - or whether they had used a hit man.
Miss Goodbooks set the books aside. Maybe it would help her solve the cold case that had been on her mind for several months. Who killed Tommy Hulk?
Usually she didnt read while she was scanning and withdrawing, but this series looked like it hadnt been out and still looked quite newish. Is this not a rip off of Scooby-Doo where everyone mistakes everyone elses identity due to their low IQ and rips off their masks in the end?
It seemed like it wasnt. The dog really was smart and could detect someone on drugs, lying, or whether they had killed someone by smelling blood on their hands - or whether they had used a hit man.
Miss Goodbooks set the books aside. Maybe it would help her solve the cold case that had been on her mind for several months. Who killed Tommy Hulk?
The Evereverland Priscillas were practicing their game plan to beat the Lanolinlanders Football Ferns. Madame Doubfire impresario-diva turned football coach had canned Queen of the Desert and was now concentrating on rehearsing a triumphant war dance that would rival the haka, utilising the fabulous costumes that the men had ditched, citing them as too uncomfortable to wear.
If only the Chippettes hadnt left to tour Lanolinland! They didnt seem to have a snowballs chance in hell and needed some good old fashioned cheesy cheerleaders to root for them. Preferably cheerleaders wearing pink ballerina tutu swimsuits and matching crocs.
If only the Chippettes hadnt left to tour Lanolinland! They didnt seem to have a snowballs chance in hell and needed some good old fashioned cheesy cheerleaders to root for them. Preferably cheerleaders wearing pink ballerina tutu swimsuits and matching crocs.
"But enough about the boring, old Lieutenant Kamala", the Great Chieftain thought to himself. The Great Chieftain was somewhat miffed.
Not only had he been outwitted by his arch-nemesis, the Empress E-Ruby of Rubyland in her quest to procure an ugly, purple monster, but one of his colleagues at the International Flat Earth Debating Convention had publicly decried one of his own contributions as "bunk"!
Now to be fair, the contribution had been somewhat "bunk" due to inaccuracies in the small print, but whoever submits contributions based on the small-print, or expects anyone to read the small print even if one does so submit, or indeed, even reads the small-print one's self before contributing it in the first place?
"Small-print is for the lawyers to read, whilst large-print is for honest folks like me", the Great Chieftain thought to himself - or that is, he did think to himself, before his very public betrayal. The Judas even admitted later - in private, mind you - that the primary purpose of the Great Chieftain's submission - that is, the excellent graphical depiction explaining the workings of a compass on God's marvelous Flat Earth - was brilliant and accurate. It wasn't the betrayal itself that the Great Chieftain found most hurtful. The Great Chieftain had dealt with more than his fair share of Judases - or Judii, as they are often known these days, being so common and tending to congregate in groups. It was the hypocrisy that the Great Chieftain found most repugnant.
Out of the wide selection of obviously inaccurate and fraudulent "evidences", including the claim of Earth purportedly spinning on its axis at impossible speeds around an almost infinitely large sun, a photograph of a "lunar lander" that a NASA employee had clearly cobbled together in his backyard with duct tape and cellophane just to show that stupid people will believe anything explained to them by a "scientist" or an "astronaut", and the Chieftain's own simple but excellent depiction of how a compass works, his erstwhile colleague had ignored the widened planks extending from everyone else's eyes and instead had focused on the speck in the Great Chieftain's.
As a result, the Great Chieftain had been brooding. The beautiful-but-deadly warrioress Tzipora had cooked him his favourite meal - bacon and eggs - on a number of occasions in-between his bacterial bleach cleanses to detoxify from his previous misadventure. The Great Chieftain had numerous times felt the ring in his pocket, and considered asking the stupid-and-dangerous Unasked Question, but only the metaphorical warning from J.R.R. Tolkien's masterpiece on the power of the One Ring had prevented him from throwing caution to the wind and doing something he might later live to regret.
"There is only so far one's favourite meal delivered by a beautiful woman can go to heal the deep and painful back-stab scars of treachery" the Great Chieftain had finally admitted to himself. "The rest of the healing must be obtained by clone-napping..."
His eyes narrowed, as he switched on his dusty International Spy Vision, and tuned into some of the beautiful, dutiful clones that kept Eden Island running like clockwork. He zoomed in on two particularly beautiful, hard-working and responsible clones - "Alphina and Ruby Jnr, judging by their name tags" he thought.
"Well, well, well," the Great Chieftain spoke aloud. "Empress E-Ruby of Rubyland can keep her ugly, nasty, purple-headed pet. She can even get a collar for it," he thought to himself smugly, "although she'd do well to cover it with something, so people who accidentally look at it don't go blind or suffer psychological harm..."
" I on the other hand, am about to appropriate for myself some additional clones to assist dear Tzipora with the cooking and the cleaning... and probably the plumbing. Some of the drains in this bunker could definitely do with unblocking. I don't know what Mordecai gets up to, but at times I wonder if he doesn't use some of the drains in this place to get rid of excess cement..."
The Great Chieftain rubbed his hands together, and started to laugh happily at the thought of his plot. "Mwu ha ha ha ha..."
Not only had he been outwitted by his arch-nemesis, the Empress E-Ruby of Rubyland in her quest to procure an ugly, purple monster, but one of his colleagues at the International Flat Earth Debating Convention had publicly decried one of his own contributions as "bunk"!
Now to be fair, the contribution had been somewhat "bunk" due to inaccuracies in the small print, but whoever submits contributions based on the small-print, or expects anyone to read the small print even if one does so submit, or indeed, even reads the small-print one's self before contributing it in the first place?
"Small-print is for the lawyers to read, whilst large-print is for honest folks like me", the Great Chieftain thought to himself - or that is, he did think to himself, before his very public betrayal. The Judas even admitted later - in private, mind you - that the primary purpose of the Great Chieftain's submission - that is, the excellent graphical depiction explaining the workings of a compass on God's marvelous Flat Earth - was brilliant and accurate. It wasn't the betrayal itself that the Great Chieftain found most hurtful. The Great Chieftain had dealt with more than his fair share of Judases - or Judii, as they are often known these days, being so common and tending to congregate in groups. It was the hypocrisy that the Great Chieftain found most repugnant.
Out of the wide selection of obviously inaccurate and fraudulent "evidences", including the claim of Earth purportedly spinning on its axis at impossible speeds around an almost infinitely large sun, a photograph of a "lunar lander" that a NASA employee had clearly cobbled together in his backyard with duct tape and cellophane just to show that stupid people will believe anything explained to them by a "scientist" or an "astronaut", and the Chieftain's own simple but excellent depiction of how a compass works, his erstwhile colleague had ignored the widened planks extending from everyone else's eyes and instead had focused on the speck in the Great Chieftain's.
As a result, the Great Chieftain had been brooding. The beautiful-but-deadly warrioress Tzipora had cooked him his favourite meal - bacon and eggs - on a number of occasions in-between his bacterial bleach cleanses to detoxify from his previous misadventure. The Great Chieftain had numerous times felt the ring in his pocket, and considered asking the stupid-and-dangerous Unasked Question, but only the metaphorical warning from J.R.R. Tolkien's masterpiece on the power of the One Ring had prevented him from throwing caution to the wind and doing something he might later live to regret.
"There is only so far one's favourite meal delivered by a beautiful woman can go to heal the deep and painful back-stab scars of treachery" the Great Chieftain had finally admitted to himself. "The rest of the healing must be obtained by clone-napping..."
His eyes narrowed, as he switched on his dusty International Spy Vision, and tuned into some of the beautiful, dutiful clones that kept Eden Island running like clockwork. He zoomed in on two particularly beautiful, hard-working and responsible clones - "Alphina and Ruby Jnr, judging by their name tags" he thought.
"Well, well, well," the Great Chieftain spoke aloud. "Empress E-Ruby of Rubyland can keep her ugly, nasty, purple-headed pet. She can even get a collar for it," he thought to himself smugly, "although she'd do well to cover it with something, so people who accidentally look at it don't go blind or suffer psychological harm..."
" I on the other hand, am about to appropriate for myself some additional clones to assist dear Tzipora with the cooking and the cleaning... and probably the plumbing. Some of the drains in this bunker could definitely do with unblocking. I don't know what Mordecai gets up to, but at times I wonder if he doesn't use some of the drains in this place to get rid of excess cement..."
The Great Chieftain rubbed his hands together, and started to laugh happily at the thought of his plot. "Mwu ha ha ha ha..."
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Eagle One and Three were busy puffing away on their cigarettes outside of the Mosterian bunker. They only took up smoking when their father the Chieftan got engaged to the wicked witch Tzipora. It calmed their nerves. Puffing away quite frantically they overheard the Chieftan talking.
"Who is he talking to" Eagle One asked Eagle Three.
"Oh nobody" Eagle Three replied. "He seems to be talking to himself" he shrugged.
"What's he saying?" Eagle One enquired of Eagle Three. Eagle Three positioned himself so that he was closer to the open window of the room the Chieftan was in pacing up and down and talking to himself. He tried to make out what he was saying and then he heard the most terrible news.
"Over my dead body" Eagle Three said upset.
"What's wrong?" Eagle One asked.
Eagle Three grabbed Eagle One's arm and hurriedly dragged him away from earshot of the Chieftan.
"It is the most horrible news, Eagle One. The Chieftan is planning on kidnapping dear Ruby Jnr and Alphina and making them into slaves for the wicked Tzipora to order around" Eagle Three said. "We must not let this happen. We must come up with a plan."
"Who is he talking to" Eagle One asked Eagle Three.
"Oh nobody" Eagle Three replied. "He seems to be talking to himself" he shrugged.
"What's he saying?" Eagle One enquired of Eagle Three. Eagle Three positioned himself so that he was closer to the open window of the room the Chieftan was in pacing up and down and talking to himself. He tried to make out what he was saying and then he heard the most terrible news.
"Over my dead body" Eagle Three said upset.
"What's wrong?" Eagle One asked.
Eagle Three grabbed Eagle One's arm and hurriedly dragged him away from earshot of the Chieftan.
"It is the most horrible news, Eagle One. The Chieftan is planning on kidnapping dear Ruby Jnr and Alphina and making them into slaves for the wicked Tzipora to order around" Eagle Three said. "We must not let this happen. We must come up with a plan."
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Prince William drove onwards toward Eden Island. It seemed to take ages and he was stalled behind a long line of Hondas and Holdens.
Princess Charlotte was worried for the first time in her short life. What if Empress Ruby wasnt home? She hadnt called back. Had she totally forgotten about her? She was her biggest fan!
If she had forgotten or had amnesia again and drunk the blue milk, Princess Charlotte didnt know what to do except throw a huge tantrum. She had seen the Empress Jenny do it to get her own way and thought maybe that would work.
Her papa said she was probably busy doing more important things like playing Fortnite with the cHieftain and not to get her hopes up.
Princess Charlotte sulked. She hated that nasty Chieftain. All he did was take up Empress Rubys precious time when she and could be having garden tea parties. He was rude, crude and boring and only ever wanted to do stupid BOY stuff, like her brother. UGH.
Papa cant we just chop his head off? Give him a redneck?
Princess we cant do that, we are royals remember? We have other people to do that for us. Besides you dont want to get blood all over your pretty pink tutu.
Charlotte considered. Ok why not get the corgis to bite his bum.
The corgis! Prince William had left them at the palace. His brother had offered to look after them as he was looking for a place to stay. But he didnt trust Harrys pet sitting abilities. Last time he sat for the corgis, his wife had dressed them up in doggie outfits and put them on instagram.
Princess Charlotte was worried for the first time in her short life. What if Empress Ruby wasnt home? She hadnt called back. Had she totally forgotten about her? She was her biggest fan!
If she had forgotten or had amnesia again and drunk the blue milk, Princess Charlotte didnt know what to do except throw a huge tantrum. She had seen the Empress Jenny do it to get her own way and thought maybe that would work.
Her papa said she was probably busy doing more important things like playing Fortnite with the cHieftain and not to get her hopes up.
Princess Charlotte sulked. She hated that nasty Chieftain. All he did was take up Empress Rubys precious time when she and could be having garden tea parties. He was rude, crude and boring and only ever wanted to do stupid BOY stuff, like her brother. UGH.
Papa cant we just chop his head off? Give him a redneck?
Princess we cant do that, we are royals remember? We have other people to do that for us. Besides you dont want to get blood all over your pretty pink tutu.
Charlotte considered. Ok why not get the corgis to bite his bum.
The corgis! Prince William had left them at the palace. His brother had offered to look after them as he was looking for a place to stay. But he didnt trust Harrys pet sitting abilities. Last time he sat for the corgis, his wife had dressed them up in doggie outfits and put them on instagram.
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Miss Goodbooks started reading Play Dead, the first of the series of A dog and his Girl mysteries.
Usually she would skip to the end to find out what happened ...it was quicker that way. The second book was called Dead Mans Best Friend and the third was Cry Woof.
Aha!
All the evidence pointed toward Miss Ruby as the killer. It was completely obvious.
Miss Goodbooks gave this info to the guinea pigs who filed it in SSSS. The penguins picked it up and sent it to the possums. The Possums told informed the cats, who shared it with the rabbits. The rabbits, who were growing tired of Miss Rubys neglectful rule, decided to overrun Eden Island and eat everything in sight.
RIP Tommy Hulk you were missed, and you were a better leader than Miss Ruby ever was. Or that wicked Chieftain, Who couldnt rule his way out of a paper bag and had to resort to kidnapping babies all the time just to get some cash. Why couldnt he just sell his soul like Empress Jenny did?
Usually she would skip to the end to find out what happened ...it was quicker that way. The second book was called Dead Mans Best Friend and the third was Cry Woof.
Aha!
All the evidence pointed toward Miss Ruby as the killer. It was completely obvious.
Miss Goodbooks gave this info to the guinea pigs who filed it in SSSS. The penguins picked it up and sent it to the possums. The Possums told informed the cats, who shared it with the rabbits. The rabbits, who were growing tired of Miss Rubys neglectful rule, decided to overrun Eden Island and eat everything in sight.
RIP Tommy Hulk you were missed, and you were a better leader than Miss Ruby ever was. Or that wicked Chieftain, Who couldnt rule his way out of a paper bag and had to resort to kidnapping babies all the time just to get some cash. Why couldnt he just sell his soul like Empress Jenny did?
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Miss Zipmouth and Aunty Rachel were getting the flat ready for their weekend bbq. Keisha set up the kettle in the backyard. Mrs Hairy was bringing banana parcels.
Aunty Rachel whipped up a pavlova.
Miss Zipmouth decided she would try barbecuing her Japovian specialty, kebabs, with her special spicy sauce.
Keisha said she was bringing mussels.
The men were meant to bring salads, or sausages. The chipmunks were bringing chestnuts and macadamias.
There will be fireworks tonight over Rangitoto, said Aunty Rachel to Baby Jade. Baby Jade looked up from her books. She always slept with Queen Kong and the Seven Guinea Pigs, as it was the furriest and most cuddly book.
yes when it gets dark you'll see them. No Chipmunks playground today for you, as the real Chipmunks are coming over! And you are also going to meet the author of your favourite book!
Baby Jade clapped her hands with delight. Her mother wanted to know what the occasion was for the fireworks.
Auntry Rachel just said it was Lanolinland tradition.
Miss Zipmouth was worried about Rangitoto erupting. It reminded her of what happened in Japovia, but Aunty Rachel assured her Rangitoto hadnt erupted in years and was harmless.
Aunty Rachel whipped up a pavlova.
Miss Zipmouth decided she would try barbecuing her Japovian specialty, kebabs, with her special spicy sauce.
Keisha said she was bringing mussels.
The men were meant to bring salads, or sausages. The chipmunks were bringing chestnuts and macadamias.
There will be fireworks tonight over Rangitoto, said Aunty Rachel to Baby Jade. Baby Jade looked up from her books. She always slept with Queen Kong and the Seven Guinea Pigs, as it was the furriest and most cuddly book.
yes when it gets dark you'll see them. No Chipmunks playground today for you, as the real Chipmunks are coming over! And you are also going to meet the author of your favourite book!
Baby Jade clapped her hands with delight. Her mother wanted to know what the occasion was for the fireworks.
Auntry Rachel just said it was Lanolinland tradition.
Miss Zipmouth was worried about Rangitoto erupting. It reminded her of what happened in Japovia, but Aunty Rachel assured her Rangitoto hadnt erupted in years and was harmless.
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"Think Eagle One" mumbled Eagle Three greatly distressed. "We need to thwart the Cheiftan's plan to clone nap the beautiful but dutiful Rubyland clones Ruby Jnr and Alphina. We just cannot allow them to be captured and worked to the bone like poor Cinderella"
"Cinder who?" asked Eagle One.
"You know Cinderella. She was worked to the bone by her wicked step mother because her stepmother was jealous. Remind you of anyone?" Eagle Three replied.
Eagle One gasped. Tzipora was just like Cinderella's wicked stepmother. Wicked, jealous and gossipy.
"We need to distract the Chieftan. You know rock him to the bones. Stress him to the max so he drops the clone napping plan because he is greatly stressed with a bigger problem. What stresses the Chieftan the most?" enquired Eagle One.
"Um" Eagle Three sighed. Then it dawned on him.
"I've got it" Eagle three said.
"Popping the question to that crazy, gossiping warrioress" Eagle Three continued. "Perhaps we can accidentally let her know. After all up unto this point he keeps playing with the ring but he has not mustered the courage to ask her. Why don't we accidentally/purposely expose his secret" Eagle Three said.
And so they did. They skillfully cut a hole in the Chieftans trousers. Organised a family dinner for clones, Chieftan and witch. Eagle One purposely spilt wine all over the table during the dinner. The Chieftan reached in his pocket to pull out a handkerchief to help clean up the mess. The ring dropped out of the hole in his pocket, rolled and landed at the feet of Tzipora. The rock glistened from the artificial light, caught her attention and she looked down only to see the ring at her feet.
Tzipora most surprised nearly fainted from shock and before she knew it she yelled out the words "I do"
The chieftan not knowing what had taken place looked over at Tzipora crying and saw the wedding ring glistening at her feet. The Chieftan suddenly felt very whoozy himself.
"I do, I do Chieftan" Tzipora said excitedly. "I have been waiting a long time.
"Cinder who?" asked Eagle One.
"You know Cinderella. She was worked to the bone by her wicked step mother because her stepmother was jealous. Remind you of anyone?" Eagle Three replied.
Eagle One gasped. Tzipora was just like Cinderella's wicked stepmother. Wicked, jealous and gossipy.
"We need to distract the Chieftan. You know rock him to the bones. Stress him to the max so he drops the clone napping plan because he is greatly stressed with a bigger problem. What stresses the Chieftan the most?" enquired Eagle One.
"Um" Eagle Three sighed. Then it dawned on him.
"I've got it" Eagle three said.
"Popping the question to that crazy, gossiping warrioress" Eagle Three continued. "Perhaps we can accidentally let her know. After all up unto this point he keeps playing with the ring but he has not mustered the courage to ask her. Why don't we accidentally/purposely expose his secret" Eagle Three said.
And so they did. They skillfully cut a hole in the Chieftans trousers. Organised a family dinner for clones, Chieftan and witch. Eagle One purposely spilt wine all over the table during the dinner. The Chieftan reached in his pocket to pull out a handkerchief to help clean up the mess. The ring dropped out of the hole in his pocket, rolled and landed at the feet of Tzipora. The rock glistened from the artificial light, caught her attention and she looked down only to see the ring at her feet.
Tzipora most surprised nearly fainted from shock and before she knew it she yelled out the words "I do"
The chieftan not knowing what had taken place looked over at Tzipora crying and saw the wedding ring glistening at her feet. The Chieftan suddenly felt very whoozy himself.
"I do, I do Chieftan" Tzipora said excitedly. "I have been waiting a long time.
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Princess Charlotte looked out the window. She couldnt believe her eyes, there were giant rabbits everywhere. She really felt like the world had turned upside down and she had fallen down the rabbit hole to Wonderland. Except it was Rubyland as thats what the sign said
WELCOME TO RUBYLAND
We're here papa!
Her father knew they were just ordinary kangaroos, but let his daughter believe they were giant rabbits, relatives of the Easter Bunny. It didnt pay to kill a little girl's illusions. He also had told her Santa had relocated to the South Pole, as he wanted a summer holiday. The final thing he told her was that she was a royal princess and third in line to the throne.
WELCOME TO RUBYLAND
We're here papa!
Her father knew they were just ordinary kangaroos, but let his daughter believe they were giant rabbits, relatives of the Easter Bunny. It didnt pay to kill a little girl's illusions. He also had told her Santa had relocated to the South Pole, as he wanted a summer holiday. The final thing he told her was that she was a royal princess and third in line to the throne.
At 9pm on November 5th President Lanolin dimmed the sun by waving her Maui magic jawbone, Lanolinlands version of magic wand.
The she pressed the button for fireworks to erupt over Rangitoto. It was beamed out of the Lanovision and scared all the remaning dogs away as the shrieks and whistles of the fireworks hurt their ears.
Lanolinland was now safe from all intruders and gunpowder plots, lipstick missiles, drug rings, wedding rings, rednecks, bad movie sequels and clones. Everyone celebrated by having bbq and watching a bumper
episode of Shortland Street where Kirsty was finally found living on Great Barrier Island.
The she pressed the button for fireworks to erupt over Rangitoto. It was beamed out of the Lanovision and scared all the remaning dogs away as the shrieks and whistles of the fireworks hurt their ears.
Lanolinland was now safe from all intruders and gunpowder plots, lipstick missiles, drug rings, wedding rings, rednecks, bad movie sequels and clones. Everyone celebrated by having bbq and watching a bumper
episode of Shortland Street where Kirsty was finally found living on Great Barrier Island.
Miss Bumbum and her bogan boyfriend are finally getting married, said Dame Edna.
Miss BumBum? Camilla had not been following.
Dame Edna was on a facetime with her best friend, they had not spoken in a while. Naturally Camilla wanted to know all the gossip down under. Life was fairly boring at the top.
Dame Edna said she was Evereverlands latest acting sensation and had landed the main leading actress role Baz's new movie the 613 Commandments.
Shes playing Zipporah, chief circumciser of men opposite Moshe, chief sinner. Moshe is growing a mo for Movemeber. They met on the set and fell in love naturally. Apparently Miss Ruby, Moshe's ex, has gone insane with jealousy.
Fred is growing a moustache too, said Camilla who had no idea who Miss Ruby was.. He'll look like Colonel Sanders when he's done.
My dear hubby is always being mistaken for the Colonel. When he goes on tour next week at the mall all the young possums will ask him for KFC. Madame Doubtfires been coaching him in a Southern accent to say 'Bless yo' heart'
Miss BumBum? Camilla had not been following.
Dame Edna was on a facetime with her best friend, they had not spoken in a while. Naturally Camilla wanted to know all the gossip down under. Life was fairly boring at the top.
Dame Edna said she was Evereverlands latest acting sensation and had landed the main leading actress role Baz's new movie the 613 Commandments.
Shes playing Zipporah, chief circumciser of men opposite Moshe, chief sinner. Moshe is growing a mo for Movemeber. They met on the set and fell in love naturally. Apparently Miss Ruby, Moshe's ex, has gone insane with jealousy.
Fred is growing a moustache too, said Camilla who had no idea who Miss Ruby was.. He'll look like Colonel Sanders when he's done.
My dear hubby is always being mistaken for the Colonel. When he goes on tour next week at the mall all the young possums will ask him for KFC. Madame Doubtfires been coaching him in a Southern accent to say 'Bless yo' heart'
Kate the Great was watching Home and Away on the big screen tv with her two boys lying on the Egyptian cotton draped king sized bed in her Surfers Paradise Penthouse apartment suite.
It was another episode whereby the stray bogans found out they were related to each other and became kissing cousins. She never got to watch Home and Away when hubby was around, he preferred Top Gear which was on at the same time on the other channel.
George was bored by this and went to the window looking out over the Summers Bay. In the distance he could see some islands. Ma which ones Lanolinland?
Darling we are nowhere near Lanolinland you cant see it from here.
George looked on his marauders map on his Harry Potter phone and found out it was Great Barry R Island. And right next to it, connected by a golden bridge was Eden Island. He could see his pa and sister were heading towards it as he was charged with spying on them.
What is pa doing with your sister George, are they there yet?
George hoped that Charlotte would get lost, or at least eaten by a crocodile.
It was another episode whereby the stray bogans found out they were related to each other and became kissing cousins. She never got to watch Home and Away when hubby was around, he preferred Top Gear which was on at the same time on the other channel.
George was bored by this and went to the window looking out over the Summers Bay. In the distance he could see some islands. Ma which ones Lanolinland?
Darling we are nowhere near Lanolinland you cant see it from here.
George looked on his marauders map on his Harry Potter phone and found out it was Great Barry R Island. And right next to it, connected by a golden bridge was Eden Island. He could see his pa and sister were heading towards it as he was charged with spying on them.
What is pa doing with your sister George, are they there yet?
George hoped that Charlotte would get lost, or at least eaten by a crocodile.
J
Ms Jenny had to arrange for a meeting with Ms Ruby and the Chieftain. The fake news spewing out from Lanolinland was getting out of hand. At first it had been entertaining, but as of late it was just being bad for business and world peace. Especially for business.
They were obliged to sanction Lanolinland. No export of anything to that country unless its toxic propaganda came to an end. No importing of filthy magazines and gossip from Lanolinland.
No citizen of Lanolinland was allowed to set foot on the free worlds soil before the hostilities were ended.
The voting was unanimous and Lanolinans was now isolated.
They were obliged to sanction Lanolinland. No export of anything to that country unless its toxic propaganda came to an end. No importing of filthy magazines and gossip from Lanolinland.
No citizen of Lanolinland was allowed to set foot on the free worlds soil before the hostilities were ended.
The voting was unanimous and Lanolinans was now isolated.
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