The Banned Game

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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Its velcro and frozen edible lipglue that sticks them all together

Me thinks Shittimstanians are obsessed with thumbs, since that is how their nation gets around...by hitchhiking.

They must be watching the campaign on some obscure cable tv channel but Lanolinlanders prefer to catch the last few episodes of Neighbours.

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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really? I dont think the Shittimastanians life is as hard as they make out.
They are making a fortune on their Giant Moa Pringles, and the Penguins have learned how to use them as surfboards

I dont know how they managed to make the potato chips waterproof, but they did. Ingenious.
Probably not very tasty though. Maybe they used waxy potatoes.

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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Earth to Jennymaesia! Earth to Jennymaesia!

The Baroness Barry was chatting on her diamante encrusted smartphone.

I have the guinea pigs. They are such darling cute things but Im afraid they are a bit too puffy to fit in my handbag. What do you suggest I do with them? I know a rather good health and beauty spa out in Rubyland.

yes

uh huh

yes

Perfect, they'll be transformed into pet possums in no time! Fabulous darling.

Baroness Barry tapped the phone with her ruby red fingernail.

Well my dear sweet guineas good news you are going to 'the happiest place on earth' !

The guinea pigs tried to open their mouths to shout hooray but they had eaten the last of their lip glues and their mouths were sealed shut. The Japovian lip glues had unfortunate side effects, if you ate too much they got all gooey and messed up your fur. So they just smiled like mona lisa.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
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ne altering process of turning guinea pigs into adorable possums has gone awry, they don't move much anymore.
 

Ruby123

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Mar 1, 2019
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We Rubylanders are able to easily defeat the military penguins. All we have to do is play some rhythmic music with a catchy tune. They drop their weapons and become happy feet

 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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The penguins dropped their weapons and started dancing to Vanilla Ice

Ice ice baby

Empress Jennymae is sure to throw a massive fit when she hears about this. Our meterologists have filed a Hurricane Jennymae warning to surrounding lands in her path but it a going to be thwarted by our line of defence hedges and trees.

Besides, the exiled leader of Mosetaria isnt even IN Antarctica. We have it from very good source that he's actually chilling out having a beer in an ice hotel near former Japovia with Chief Sculpt.

so Empress Ruby has absolutely nothing to worry about from the Mosetarian front. Besides, if they ever get bombarded with frozen tomatoes, its not the end of the world , is it? She ought to relax, curl up with her coffee and cats and watch the last episode of Neighbours with Baroness Barry and her new possums.
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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Looks like he's somewhere high up in the mountains up north...close to former Japovia Im sure. That definitely is a mountain goat. Chief Sculpt was pretty lonely and need someone to talk to, he was tired of talking to thin air and banning everyone.

There are no goats in Antarctica or green fields.
 

jennymae

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Feb 28, 2020
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The Empress has decided to step down and leave Jennymaesia. The Rubyland President will be in charge from now on. The former Empress will establish a beauty shop in Soho, London where green lipstick is banned. Bananas won’t be seen either. Loosely based on what Henry Ford once said, a lipstick could be any color as long as it is ruby red.

Much to the former Empress’ regrets she wasn’t able to cover Mosestaria in green, banana flavored lipstick. Knowing this will haunt her for the rest of her life. Of course, the former Empress will no longer be posing under her real name and due to this her war crimes will be left unpunished. Yet, if anybody from Mosestaria should enter through the doors of her shop she’s got some green lipstick stocked up for an occasion like that.

Special offer! Only today! Free of charge makeover for Mosestarian officials!

😂😂😂
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
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The Empress has decided to step down and leave Jennymaesia. The Rubyland President will be in charge from now on. The former Empress will establish a beauty shop in Soho, London where green lipstick is banned. Bananas won’t be seen either. Loosely based on what Henry Ford once said, a lipstick could be any color as long as it is ruby red.

Much to the former Empress’ regrets she wasn’t able to cover Mosestaria in green, banana flavored lipstick. Knowing this will haunt her for the rest of her life. Of course, the former Empress will no longer be posing under her real name and due to this her war crimes will be left unpunished. Yet, if anybody from Mosestaria should enter through the doors of her shop she’s got some green lipstick stocked up for an occasion like that.

Special offer! Only today! Free of charge makeover for Mosestarian officials!

😂😂😂
Whaaaaaat!!!!!!! how can anybody else reign over Jennymaesia than the Empress herself.
I fear the wicked leader may be planning a takeover.
Empress you must come back!!
 

Moses_Young

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Sep 15, 2019
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"Did you read the newspaper?" Mordecai asked excitedly. "The Jennymaesian president is stepping down. Setting up some beauty shop in Soho, if you can believe that. Do you think she was made an offer she couldn't refuse?"

The Mosestarian chieftain (may his nose ever be likened to an eagle's just beak) smiled patiently. "Optics, my dear Mordecai, optics. The Empress, for all her talk of weapons of mass, green, banana-flavoured lip-destruction, is really on our side. Don't you see?"

Mordecai shook his head.

"First of all, the treachurous Jomés Band."

Mordecai gasked. "But Jomés Band was an international agent and hero."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Mordecai. The man is a womaniser and a cad. Do you really think he is a good role model for Mosestaria's youth? But the dear Empress exposed him for what he was, and with their televised wedding, no decent woman will ever be seduced by him ever again."

"But, but... He did it all for Chief and Chiefdom..." Mordecai stuttered.

"Jomés Band did it for Jomés Band," the Chieftain replied sagely. "The so-called philanthropist would sell his own mother in order to earn enough to purchase, or even rent, yet another pair of ruby-red lips. He revealed our secrets to our enemy, something a true patriot would never do."

Mordecai nodded sadly.

"And the Jennymaesian dynasty. The Empress's marriage, and her subsequent anulment, assures us that the Jennymaesian dynasty ends with the current Empress. Can you imagine what the Jennymaesian Pope would announce to the Jennymaesian faithful now, if there were to be an heir produced - albeit an illegitimate one?"

Mordecai nodded again, seeing that the Chieftain's explanation made sense.

"And finally, the consolidation of Jennymaesia and Rubyland - it has just made it one step easier for Mosestaria to unite the nations, when the Rubyland President is finally dealt with..."

Mordecai nodded again. "But why all the threats and posturing, if the Empress is really on our side?"

"Because Mordecai, the Jennymaesian people have certain expectations of their Empress, and certain prejudices against Mosestaria and its Chieftain. In order for there not to be rebellion, the Chieftain must be installed most carefully. If the Empress were just to openly hand the Empire over to the Chieftain, there would certainly be outrage and accusations of treason..."

Mordecai nodded again, hopefully. It really was getting difficult for him to understand who were the allies and who were the enemies in this grand scenario of conquest, what with all the crossing and double-crossing and reverse psychology...
 

Ruby123

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Mar 1, 2019
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then Moses (the Old) awoke laughing uncontrollably until he realised he was lying in bed wearing his Batman pyjamas (lol). You see it was just a dream. None of the above was actually occurring.

Mordecai his faithful servant (and cousin) entered the room carrying a tray with his breakfast freshly made by Mordecai himself. You see, Mordecai must awaken at five each morning to make this three course breakfast. Moses having realised that it was just a dream and not reality flung the tray and all of its contents scattered everywhere. Mordecai was horrified. He realised Moses did not appreciate his service to his cousin. He also knew he would be stuck scraping the contents of the tray off the wall and ceiling and how on earth was he meant to get it out of the carpet.

He started to clean and his mind wandered. Should he accept Empress Ruby's offer to immigrate to Rubyland where he was offered a position on her payroll, an offer he scoffed at when first asked? It was surely tempting. Getting away from his current situation was beginning to sound really good. He decided to give himself a week to think it over.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
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Not to be outdone, Hairy has responded to this horrible attempt at upsetting the balance of power between the kingdoms by preparing breakfast as it has never before been prepared-


He says the carbon is good for us, it helps take the poisons out of the body that the breakfast puts in.
 

jennymae

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Feb 28, 2020
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Meanwhile in London.

The owner of the posh beauty shop in Soho was working in her office. One of her employees then entered. “Miss Jenny”, she said without thinking before speaking…but the owner hushed her abruptly. “You must never ever use that name again!” The owner stared at the employee with eyes as cold as a New Jersey resident. “Uh…I’m so sorry, Miss Je…”, before she finally recollected that the correct name was Abigail. “We’re awaiting your orders, Lady Abigail”.

Lady Abigail then spoke. “It’s mandatory that we make this shop a fashion fountain. We shall attract the Mosestarian nomenclature, and then, apply green lipstick to all of them”. Lady Abigail giggled at the thought of that. “Then they will be so embarrassed that they do not dare speak up against me ever no more”. The employee bursted out laughing. “Magnificent, My Lady, but what about Jennymaesia?” “Fear not, the Rubyland ruler takes care of business while we’re scheming our plot here.” Lady Abigail laughed sweetly and applied some ruby red lipstick to her lips.
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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Chief Sculpt and Chieftain Moses were chewing the fat (ie. eating cheese) high in the mountain tops overlooking Chief Sculpts angora goats.

Chieftain Moses was recounting his daring tales of escapades out of Rubyland and his attempts to woo her bunnies so they could be turned into slippers to match his Batman pyjamas.

Then he boasted about his drugging her cats. Operation catnip was a success. He said his eyes were on the prize

Chief Sculpt was impressed but pretended he didnt care to join in this silly power play called The Banned Game and changed the subject to the time he landed the biggest fish ever.

I won prize money sponsored by Japovia plus they gave me a car AND a lipstick factory. Do you know how much lipstick a fish can make?
 

Lanolin

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Dec 15, 2018
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the Maori of Lanonlinland have put forward a grievance they wish the President to take to the former Empress of Jennymaesia, now known as Lady Abigail. They claim that Lady Abigail is appropriating their culture and attempting to make a profit from it as well as being culturally insensitive. Only THEY have the rights to green lips. And it is a matter of Mana for them.

They also do not believe the Chieftain of Mosestaria is worthy of wearing the green lips as of yet. What has HE ever done for the people of Lanolinland?

Green lips are only reserved for the most honored of wahines.

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jennymae

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Feb 28, 2020
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the Maori of Lanonlinland have put forward a grievance they wish the President to take to the former Empress of Jennymaesia, now known as Lady Abigail. They claim that Lady Abigail is appropriating their culture and attempting to make a profit from it as well as being culturally insensitive. Only THEY have the rights to green lips. And it is a matter of Mana for them.

They also do not believe the Chieftain of Mosestaria is worthy of wearing the green lips as of yet. What has HE ever done for the people of Lanolinland?

Green lips are only reserved for the most honored of wahines.

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Lady Abigail is happy to inform whoever is inconvenient to the idea of green lipstick, whether it be on the grounds of cultural insensitivities or claims that she is in any way appropriating anybodys culture, that Lady Abigail is not, under any circumstances, applying the shade of green that the Māori people are using. Lady Abigail herself is of indigenous descent and is well aware of this problem.